AS WE GET FURTHER INTO FEBRUARY, it’s all about hearts and flowers . . . and love. Everywhere we go we see Valentine cards, heart-shaped boxes of chocolates, and toy bears hugging hearts that say, “I love you.”
For some, it’s a happy time and a reason to celebrate. But for others, the advent of Valentine’s Day may magnify the pain that already sits in your heart. Focusing on “love” is the last thing you want to do.
If the thought of Valentine’s Day makes your heart sink with melancholy, consider that these disappointments with love may actually offer an opportunity to turn your heart in another direction, where true love is encased in a reality beyond what we have ever known or will ever know in this world. It may be one of those times when you find hope in unexpected places. The sorrow and disillusionment of Valentine’s Day may actually open your eyes to the most loving relationship you have ever known.
If we look up instead of inward, if we chase away those fears of rejection by earthly lovers and instead embrace the true lover of our souls, we will soar above the failures and pain and begin to understand the true nature of love.
The author of love stands ready to enfold us in His arms. He is always ready to give and receive our love. And he will never leave us. His is the pure, unconditional love we long for, but will never find on this earth among fallen humankind.
Who else would pursue us through eternity to give us life by subjecting Himself to death? Who else is so intent on giving us joy that He would take intense sorrow and pain upon Himself so we can enter into the wonder of an eternity with Him? Of course, we don’t know or understand what that “wonder of eternity” actually means. We can’t comprehend the joy that awaits us once we have passed through the valley of the shadow of death, whether it be physical death or an emotional pain that simply feels like death. We must trust Him and lean on Him and take His word into our hearts.
Paul pleads for us to understand this in his book to the Ephesians when he says: “I pray that Christ will be more and more at home in your hearts, living within you as you trust in him. May your roots go down deep into the soil of God’s marvelous love; and may you be able to feel and understand, as all God’s children should, how long, how wide, how deep, and how high his love really is; and to experience this love for yourselves, though it is so great that you will never see the end of it or fully know or understand it. And so at last you will be filled up with God himself.” (Ephesians 3:17-19 Living Bible)
Cling now to these words. Fill your minds up with this incredible truth. Open your heart to his prayer and accept God’s wondrous love that is meant for YOU.
“How long, how wide, how deep, and how high his love really is!” How amazing this is! How incomprehensible. Can you wrap your minds around it? This Valentine’s Day meditate on these words. Let God’s love embrace you. As my grandchildren often say, “It may be the best Valentine’s Day ever.”
But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us. (Romans 5:8)
If Valentine’s Day is especially hard for you this year and you need something to help you experience His love more deeply, listen to this video by Twila Paris. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B4GNEonT8wo
It is so hard during separation to know what is acceptable around holidays or birthdays. Both in my case. I’m a giver. Do I not give a gift a card or acknowledgement or do I? I’ve been pondering this for weeks and now it is upon me and it is becoming increasingly apparent (thanks Linda and Kim) that God is saying just focus on Me. “Let your roots grow down (there it is again)…” Let Me love you like none other can. Okay. 🙂 praying for all those separated, Christa
Chris, my advice if you are separated is to lay low and not pursue. Give him space. Even a loving gesture like sending a Valentine’s card can easily be interpreted as pursuit by a spouse who has left. This is a time to hang out with God and accept His love. Focus on Him, and put your husband on the “back burner” as I say in my book.
It’s very difficult facing these “special” occasions. Today is my husband’s birthday. I have left a card for him with my daughter to give to him tonight when my family gets together to enjoy his birthday. It’s a struggle, as Chris says, to know what is appropriate. It hurts that I can’t celebrate my husband’s birthday along with my family. Though I pray daily for my husband, spiritual warfare, I feel like I am losing hope. I know God has a plan and his own timing, but this is so very hard. The rejection continues to be so very painful, as well as, the loneliness in not being able to enjoy family celebrations with my family.
Shaun…oh do I know it. My husband turns 40 on Tuesday. I had plans to celebrate with him… I’m taking Linda’s advice and putting him on the back burner. It doesn’t extinguish the love I have for him just puts it on a low simmer while I keep my eyes on Him and let Him continue His work in me. But ouch it’s hard and it hurts.
Linda, thank you for your advice to Chris. I needed to hear that too. I’m feeling so much rejection and burning pain right now from my husband. I texted him this morning “happy birthday” and he responded with “thanks”. Nothing more. The really painful part was that he “liked” everyone’s birthday wishes on Facebook, but mine. I’m so crushed.
Thank you Chris for reminding me. Trying right now to put my focus back where it belongs.
I, too, feel the pain of my husband’s absence and no acknowledgement of my comments or gestures. I have given him time, and it has been a year and a half of separation. He filed for divorce in August, but his reasons seem related to our debt issues, since he continues to kiss me hello and goodbye. He has other deep hurts from before me that he has to heal from, and I sometimes feel I am his emotional lifeline in a way. I have still sent him cards for his birthday, Christmas, and Valentine’s Day, letting him know I am not giving up on us.