Does God Always Answer Prayer?

May 31, 2023 by Leave a Comment
A Woman praying and looking at the sunset with her back to us

Photo by Allef Vinicius

I HAD A TERRIBLE COLD, a croupy cough, no voice, and my publicist had four interviews scheduled for me in the next week as part of the launch for my book, Fighting for Your Marriage while Separated, which had just released a couple of months earlier. I was in a quandary.  How could I handle these interviews with no voice?

My husband and I began earnestly praying for my voice to return and my cough to subside. Surely God would answer our prayers. He always does so, right? Particularly when I was sharing a message of hope that so many people needed to hear.

We prayed. But nothing changed.

I called my publicist and asked her to cancel one of the interviews, but I had three more the following week. Marv and I continued praying.

A few days earlier I had had a Facebook discussion on the subject of unanswered prayer, and a woman posted a comment saying, “God always answers our prayers. Sometimes it’s yes, no, or wait. But there’s always an answer. We just need a discerning ear to hear him and be submissive to the answer He gives us.”

Was that true? Did God always answer prayer? Sometimes it seemed that He didn’t. Like now. I was praying, but not getting an answer. Was she right? Did I just not have a discerning ear?

If that’s true, I thought, how do I get a discerning ear?

A Discerning Ear

Well, that “thought” wasn’t exactly in the form of a prayer, but the Holy Spirit, who prays for us when we don’t know how to pray, (Rom. 8:26) intervened for me, and God gave me the answer to my question immediately.

We get a discerning ear by spending more time with God—by asking Him what He wants to say to us—by seeking—by listening.

So I asked God what He wanted to say to me. And again I got an answer. He wanted to take me deeper. He wanted me to spend more time with him. I was putting out to others, but I was not spending time at the source – with Him.

In response, I spent Sunday immersed in the Bible. I started a new Bible study, and read a couple of Christian books—allowing God to speak to me. I drank some pureed pineapple like some friends suggested, took the cough medication prescribed by my doctor, and continued to pray and spend time in His Word.

And I started getting answers.

One of the things God said to me that Sunday when I prayed about my cough and my voice, was “trust me.”

Trust Me

A big concern I had was whether to email my publicist and ask her to tell the host of the broadcast on Monday about my voice and my cough and let him decide if he wanted to take a chance on me. After all, it was a LIVE 60 minute show. If I couldn’t talk, he wouldn’t have a show.

As I prayed about it that Sunday, however, the one thing I kept hearing in my spirit was “trust me.” God brought Proverbs 3:5-6 to mind – repeatedly. “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him and he will direct your paths.”

God was telling me to stop trying to figure out what I should do based “on my own understanding.” God was telling me to trust Him.

On Monday morning I woke up and took a deep breath. A DEEP breath! I didn’t cough. Clear, fresh air filled my lungs. It felt wonderful. When I spoke to my husband, my voice wasn’t raspy. He could hear me.

That afternoon I did a great one hour LIVE interview, and my voice was almost normal. I didn’t cough.

God had gotten my attention, and I hadn’t cancelled the interview. I had trusted God instead. It wasn’t that God wasn’t answering my prayer, it was that I needed to spend time with Him so I could HEAR His answer. I had been asking Him to heal me and when I didn’t hear his answer, I thought He wasn’t answering me. But there needed to be a part 2 of my prayer – “God what are you trying to show me?” God wanted me to ask part 2 before I could get a “yes” to part one.

That day I responded back to the woman on Facebook. “You make a great point. God always hears our prayers, and He always has an answer for us. When we don’t hear what the answer is, He may be calling us to go deeper with Him so we can hear His voice more clearly and develop that “spiritually discerning ear” You mentioned.  God is always about relationship—our relationship with Him. His greatest desire is for us to come closer to Him where we can hear His voice. So when we don’t seem to get an answer to our prayer, we need to spend more time with Him in His word and in more concentrated time in prayer so we can go deeper, asking Him to show us what He wants us to see. Thank you for making that important point.”

Amen and Amen.

If you have a troubled marriage and want to know if God can answer your prayer for restoration, check out my book, Fighting for Your Marriage while Separated. It will not only provide guidance for this journey but also show you how to pray for your marriage.

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Delays and Waiting

September 27, 2022 by 3 Comments

clock ticking away while waitingIT’S AMAZING TO ME how often God uses delays and waiting to bring blessing to those He loves in the stories of the Bible. But I’m struck by the fact that God also often uses these delays to test the hearts of those in waiting to see if they are worthy of the blessing he is about to bestow.

Although God promised Abraham to make him the father of nations, God waited to fulfill that promise until Abraham was very old, and during these years of waiting, God tested His faith before blessing him with a son.

Sarah, his wife, also received this promise. Although she believed God in theory, she doubted His ability to fulfill it for her personally because she was past the age of bearing children. She decided to “help” God by coming up with an alternative solution. But by taking things in her own hands, she caused huge complications not only in her own family, but in the family of nations to this very day.

Elizabeth, the mother of John the Baptist, and her husband Zechariah, were righteous in God’s sight, and yet God did not bless them with a child until they were well along in years. But because of their faith, the child they bore in their old age was especially chosen by God to point people to Jesus, and today they continue to be some of the heroes of our faith.

Hannah was denied a child while the rival wife of her husband, who had children, lorded it over her. Year after year Hannah suffered the indignity of infertility, but when she wept before God in the temple and sought His blessings, God heard her prayer. After many years of barrenness, she gave birth to the prophet Samuel, whom she dedicated to the Lord with a humble and thankful heart. Then God blessed her with three more sons and two daughters, and when Samuel grew up, he provided godly guidance to Israel for many years.

After Saul became king, God had Samuel test Saul’s obedience and faith by asking Saul to wait for Samuel to come to sacrifice to the Lord before he went out to battle. But Saul didn’t wait. He took matters into his own hands, and because of his refusal to wait for God’s timing, he lost what would have been for him a kingdom for all time, and a nation was plunged into many years of turmoil.

God made David wait also. Even though God anointed him and promised him the kingship. David spent many years running for his life as enemies pursued him with the intent to kill. Hear David’s agony as he cries out in Psalms 22:1-2, “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me? Why are you so far from saving me, so far from the words of my groaning? O my God, I cry by day, but You do not answer.” It took many years before David was crowned king, but in the waiting David became strong. His heart grew more closely knit to the Lord, and when he took the throne as king, he was a man after God’s own heart.

Often we must wait as well.

When things seem to be going downhill, when our nation seems to be falling apart, perhaps we are simply in a period of waiting. God may be testing our hearts to see if his people will humbly follow him or if we will rise up in arrogance to do things our own way.

2 Chronicles 7:14 says, “If my people, which are called my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways, then will I hear from heaven and forgive their sin, and will heal their land.”

When the problems in our country and our world begin to weigh us down, perhaps it is time to examine our own hearts as well as our personal lives. Are we waiting in faith for God to meet our needs? Or taking things into our own hands? Each of the examples above tells a story of personal anguish and longing, but the faith or lack of faith of these individuals impacted not only their own lives but the lives of generations to follow. Nations were affected.

We often see our lives and our problems in isolation. But each of us play a part in a larger story. God tells us in 2 Chronicles that He will heal our land if we humble ourselves, pray, seek His face, and turn from our wicked ways. He is not only speaking to us corporately, but individually as well. The way we exercise faith in our daily circumstances affects much more than we realize.

When trouble comes, do we humble ourselves and wait on God?

How would our story read in the annals of faith?

“Those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles, they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.” Isaiah 40:31

In my new book – a suspense thriller called Pieces of Dark, Pieces of Light,- the suspense, the drama, and even the very dark pieces all come together with the light of God’s truth to create beauty. If you’re ready to take a break and enjoy a little fiction, check it out.

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Don’t Go Down to Egypt

June 14, 2022 by Leave a Comment

statue of girl with water potIt was one o’clock in the morning as I tossed and turned in bed. Two huge problems loomed before me the next day, and I didn’t know how I would solve either one. Restlessly, my mind churned through a myriad of possibilities, searching for answers. Tired and longing for sleep–which refused to come, I sighed and again looked at the clock.

1:30

It was easy to see where this night was headed.

Okay, I thought, I’ve been down this road before. I’m going to lay awake all night worrying and then be so tired tomorrow I won’t be able to do what is needed to actually resolve this situation. This is so pointless. I need to go to sleep.

And then I prayed.

Earlier that morning, I had been reading in Isaiah 30 and 31 about God’s displeasure with Judah when they were besieged by the Assyrians. Instead of trusting God and looking to Him for guidance, they went down to Egypt to solicit help. Even though He, the almighty God had saved them from their enemies on so many occasions and showed them signs and wonders throughout their history, the Jewish people chose to go their own way and seek help from mere men who worshipped pagan gods rather than going to their powerful creator God.

Yet, the threat was very real. The Assyrians were a great and powerful army, and the Jewish nation in the natural had no possible way of standing against them. And even though it was thousands of years ago, it wasn’t too hard to relate to their dilemma. Earthly problems appear to need earthly solutions, don’t they? Spiritual principles don’t seem relevant when we need practical answers. God is wonderful, but what does He have to do with complicated earthly situations that plague our lives?

Well—everything.

Had Judah used their spiritual eyes, remembering the way God had rescued them in the past and trusting Him to do it again, Isaiah tells us they would have enjoyed God’s favor and been saved. Instead, they turned to worldly resources. As a result both they and the Egyptians came to ruin because the Jewish people relied on themselves instead of God.

As the memory of this scripture drifted through my thoughts, the words, “Don’t go down to Egypt” began circling through my head as well. I knew God was speaking to me.

“Don’t look to worldly solutions,” he was saying. “Don’t worry about how these things will be resolved. Trust me. I will give you peace.”

Don’t go down to Egypt.

Another story from the Bible popped into my mind too—the story of King Hezekiah. A fierce and powerful Assyrian army came against him also and demanded his surrender. But Hezekiah went to God, laid all the facts before Him, and prayed, praising God and acknowledging Him as creator and ruler of all. The next morning, thousands of Assyrian soldiers were dead before one arrow had been shot into the city. Judah was saved.

As I thought about God’s promises for those who trust in Him, I began to pray and surrendered my problems to God. Gradually, my body relaxed and before long I drifted off to sleep.

I awoke the next morning to these words from Jesus Calling, a devotional book I often read to start the day.

“I am able to do far beyond all that you ask or imagine. . . . Do not be discouraged by the fact that many of your prayers are yet unanswered. Time is a trainer, teaching you to wait upon Me, to trust Me in the dark. The more extreme your circumstances, the more likely you are to see My Power and Glory at work in the situation. Instead of letting difficulties draw you into worrying, try to view them as setting the scene for My glorious intervention. Keep your eyes and your mind wide open to all that I am doing in your life.”
( Jesus Calling by Sarah Young)

Don’t go down to Egypt.

God reaffirmed to me through Sarah Young that He was able to take care of my predicament. I was not to go down to Egypt. I was to lay my problems at his feet.

As a result, the troubles that had kept me awake that night gradually took a favorable turn. As God’s peace descended upon me and I continued to surrender the situation to Him in prayer, God opened a path through a seemingly complicated situation to make it not only workable, but perfect in God’s timing according to His inexplicable plan.

So remember: When problems or worries bog you down and you’re tempted to take things in your own hands. Trust God. Don’t go down to Egypt.

Are problems in your marriage keeping you from sleeping at night? If so, my book, Fighting for Your Marriage while Separated, might provide some of the answers you’re looking for.

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Life on Pause: Learning to Wait Well – Interview with Author, Candy Arrington

September 22, 2021 by 7 Comments

Book cover for Life on Pause-Learning to Wait WellWAITING IS NOT something most of us like to do. I usually try to get to a doctor’s appointment right on the minute rather than arriving early to cut down on the wait time. I groan when I see the light turning red right before reaching the intersection because I know it means waiting. Most of all, when my husband and I were separated, I didn’t understand why God didn’t answer my prayers immediately and bring our marriage back together sooner. Waiting is hard.  In stressful situations, it can even cause us to question God’s goodness. But author Candy Arrington sees purpose in our waiting. In her new book, Life on Pause: Learning to Wait Well, she explores what it means to us when our life is “On Pause” and even shows us how waiting can be a blessing.

Linda: The books we write often emerge out of our own life experiences. What would you say was the motivation behind your writing Life on Pause: Learning to Wait Well?

Candy: Several years ago, my husband lost two jobs within a year because of declining work in his field. After the first job loss, he secured employment within a few weeks. However, after the second, we encountered a life pause, a time of uncertainty and frustration. As weeks became months, we dealt with the anxiety and fear associated with waiting.

However, this was not our first experience with a season of waiting. Early in our marriage, we traveled the difficult road of infertility. Those years of surgeries, procedures, and heartache were stressful and tested our faith. Thankfully, I was eventually able to conceive and deliver two healthy children over a four-year period.

I’d like to say I handled the years of infertility well, but, in truth, I was angry with God and hurt by thoughtless and intrusive comments from those who had no right to make judgements or give unwanted advice. The infertility years taught me a lot about trusting God and tuning out Satan’s voice. Often, we believe Satan’s lies instead of focusing on promises in God’s Word.

Sometimes, when God sidelines us in a season of waiting, we fail to learn from the experience because we are so consumed with worry about what will happen next. Learning to wait well is a challenge, but if we’re willing, we can learn and grow in a time of waiting, while also strengthening our faith muscles.

Linda: Why do you think most people struggle with waiting?

Candy: We live in an impatient society. We’re trained by advertising to think we must respond immediately to offers, hurry to make purchases, or sign up for events so we don’t miss out. We chafe at delays in drive-thru lines or other waiting scenarios. By our very nature as humans, we are impatient. We want what we want without delay, regardless of consequences or who is hurt by our impulsiveness.

Waiting is counterculture, and like so much in the life of faith, requires us to take a step back from urgency, look to God for direction and discernment, and trust his timing.

Linda: That is so very true. When I tell people my husband and I were separated for three years, people are aghast that I could wait that long for God to bring healing to our marriage. Waiting is hard, but I believe God uses it for His purposes. Tell me, what do you think are the benefits of waiting? Is it ever beneficial?

Candy: We live in a world of instant everything, so waiting feels negative. God’s plans, methods, and time frame are rarely ours, and he has reasons for allowing life pauses. Here are a few I’ve discovered:

Protection – God sees the full picture of our lives while we see only snapshots. Waiting may be God’s way of protecting us from potential Headshot of author Candy Arringtonhazards of which we are unaware.

Preparation – A time of waiting prepares us for what lies ahead. Each difficult situation or period of waiting requires us to acknowledge God, trust him for resolution, and prepares us for future challenges.

Patience – Life pauses help us to cultivate patience, which is something most of us lack. Patience requires discipline, and discipline translates positively into other areas of life.

Rest – A season of waiting may be solely for the purpose of providing rest, a chance to reassess, or recover from trauma, stress, or grief.

Reflection – Most of us move through life at such a rapid pace we rarely take time to process emotions, spend more than brief moments in Bible study and prayer, and reflect on what God is doing in our lives. Seasons of waiting slow us and help us gain new perspective on what is truly important.

Renewal – Life is hard, and obedience to God’s directive to pause allows time for recharging physically, emotionally, and mentally.

Linda: All of those are great points. In light of what we’ve all been going through over the last two years, do you feel the timing of the publication of Life on Pause is significant?

Candy: Yes, when I presented this book idea to a publisher at a conference in 2019, it was not the book I had planned to pitch. But while I was waiting for my appointment, God reminded me of an article I wrote several years before for CBN.com titled “6 Simple Truths for Seasons of Waiting.” I was resistant to moving in a different direction because I had no proposal for a book on waiting, but I pulled up the article on my phone and used it as my outline. Six months later, when I signed a contract for the book, I had no idea our country, and our world, were about to enter a time of waiting related to the pandemic.

Looking back, I can see how God orchestrated the timing of the writing of my book and the publication, and, in fact, the idea for the book in the first place. I was much more in tune with the emotions and uncertainty of waiting as I wrote, and had greater insight, because I was living it!

That is how it is when our lives take an unexpected detour. Often, we can’t see God’s hand in our circumstances until after we wade through deep waters and reach the shore on the other side. Then, we can see he guided us, removed obstacles, and held us up when turbulent trials threaten to pull us under.

Linda: Are there any features in your book, Life on Pause that seem to have ministered most to readers?

Candy: I believe some of the most powerful parts of the book are the eight personal stories of waiting. So many people have said they identify with one or more of the stories because of the honesty and transparency of those who were willing to share.

Often, privacy or embarrassment prevents us from talking about hard life experiences, but when we share our difficulties, and how God taught us in those circumstances, others receive encouragement for what they are facing.

Linda: What do you most want readers to take away from this book?

Candy: In reading Life on Pause, I want readers to learn to see positives when sidelined in a time of waiting, or really in any situation they encounter that causes them to feel out of control or doesn’t make sense to them. I hope readers will realize how crucial it is to trust God’s timing rather than rushing ahead. I want them to cultivate listening ears that are open to God’s direction. When viewed from God’s perspective, waiting is a gift. Embrace waiting. Learn from it. Utilize it. And as you wait, draw closer to God.

Linda: Where can people purchase Life on Pause: Learning to Wait Well as well as find out more about your ministry and your other books, such as When Your Aging Parent Needs Care and AFTERSHOCK: Help, Hope, and Healing in the Wake of Suicide

Candy:  My books can be found on Amazon, Barnes & Noble and other online booksellers and local stores as well. You can see more about my other books and ministry at  CandyArrington.com

 

 

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Filed Under: BOOKS, disappointment, Expectations, faith, Fear, God's goodness, Hope, Interviews, Letting go, Peace, stress, Surrendering to God, Trusting God, unanswered prayers, Uncategorized, Waiting, Where is God?, Worry Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

A Waste of Time

June 25, 2020 by Leave a Comment

Photo by Jon Tyson

After spending the morning pulling weeds, I sat on the porch and gazed out at our yard. Was all my effort pulling weeds a waste of time? Would they all grow back? I thought of the many hours I had spent over the years pulling weeds only to have to go back before long to pull more. A weed magnet—that’s our yard. I could never get them under control.

Was it just a waste of time?

With that question lurking in my mind, I sipped some iced tea and began leafing through a magazine. My eyes fell on an article about missionaries working in an unnamed country with very strict laws. Recent regulatory changes required the missionaries to acquire a building and meet very high standards that would take time to develop, They weren’t sure they could do it before their visas expired. The article told of the many months that passed as they prayed and searched their host city for a property that met the very detailed specifications. After a number of potential arrangements fell through, they grew more and more discouraged. But then, right at the last minute, they found what they needed and were able to meet all the specifications. They called it a miracle.

All the time it took them, I thought. It seemed a waste of time. They were missionaries. They were praying, and yet . . . it still took time.

So was it a waste of time?

I am so project oriented I often measure the success of my days by how much I accomplish on my list. Time is important to me. I hate wasting time—especially when the computer freezes up or I misplace something and have to look for it—or a hundred other things that seem to take longer than necessary. Some of you may feel having to stay home during this pandemic has been a waste of your time.

But the strange thing is: God doesn’t seem to care if we waste time. When I think about how long it took for my first book to get published even though it’s now helped so many people, when we think about the story of the missionaries or many other instances in which someone has been praying for a long time for their marriage to be reconciled or their health to be restored, we can’t help wondering, “Why doesn’t God answer immediately?” He certainly has the power to do it. Wouldn’t it be more beneficial to everyone for the prayers to be answered quickly? After all they are PRAYING!

But when I ponder over that question, I realize time doesn’t seem to be God’s biggest concern.

God seems more interested in something else.

To begin with, 2 Peter 3:8-9 reminds us, “With the Lord a day is like a thousand years, and a thousand years are like a day. The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. He is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance.”

So for God, the process is apparently more important than our timetables. First, He wants those in our sphere of influence to “come to repentance,” to come to salvation so they can become children of God.

Secondly, He is interested in how we go about trying to achieve our goals. What are we doing while waiting—or looking for something lost? Grumbling? Complaining? Angry at God or others? Slumping into depression? Or are we using this time to come close to God and ask for direction and counsel? Perhaps He wants to use this time to refine our characters and help us grow closer to Him. Do we pause and pray? Seek answers from scripture? Talk to Christian friends? Praise Him in the midst of our trials? Are we growing in some way?

James 3:8 instructs us to: “Come near to God and he will come near to you. James 3:10 says, “Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up.”

Perhaps God’s purpose for allowing us to trudge through the process is reflected best in Paul’s instruction to the Philippians. “Continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in you to will and to act according to his good purpose.” (Philippians 2:12-13)

Finally, 1 Peter 2:5, shares God’s ultimate purpose and design for these unwanted periods of “wasted time.” For those of us who are Christians, 1 Peter 2:5 says, ”you also, like living stones, are being built into a spiritual house to be a holy priesthood offering spiritual sacrifices acceptable to God through Jesus Christ.”

All in the Process

Our Christian life is in process. God wants to continue to grow us so we can win the race and be all that we can be when we enter His kingdom. What we consider a waste of time may actually be an opportunity to dive more deeply into God’s purposes. God is more interested in the process we are going through than the achievement of our goals. For in the process, He wants us to turn to Him and use our times of uncertainty to come closer to Him in relationship.

The same is actually true of my weeds. Although I often begrudge the need to do it, my work pulling weeds often becomes a special time with God. In those quiet moments, if I’m listening, God speaks to me through the mysteries of His creation and teaches me more about life, love, and how to know Him better.

So is it a waste of time? No, it’s all in the process. If we’re listening and seeking, if we want to win the race, God can use those lost moments of wasted time to show us more of Himself.

 “I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 3:14

If you’ve been praying for your marriage and you still don’t know if reconciliation will take place, you may find help in my new book, Fighting for Your Marriage while Separated.  There’s hope even if you’re fighting for your marriage alone.

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Sometimes We Just Feel Weary

April 30, 2020 by Leave a Comment

Guest Post by Kathy Collard Miller

Photo by Nik Shuliahin

Aren’t we all feeling weary? We’re wondering when will this COVID crisis end and we can resume our “new normal”? For most of us we are already thinking of the restaurant we’ll go to or what needs to be repaired. In all of this craziness we can be assured God hasn’t been blind or unhearing about our weariness and how we’re wondering how God fits into it all.

In fact, he comes straight out in the Bible and asks, “How have I wearied you?” Let’s look into the insights we can gain from that verse in Micah 6:3.

Even if we’re not weighed down by the Covid crisis, even when we are convinced God’s plan is His will for us, we still can feel weary. When the Israelites were complaining about God’s plan for them, He questioned them through the prophet Micah, “How have I wearied you?” (Micah 6:3 ESV).

We don’t know Micah’s tone of voice when he communicated God’s message to the people, but I wonder if he mimicked the people’s tone. If so, it would have been a whine.

When I, Kathy, grumble, I am like the Israelites in my complaint, God has done me wrong. I’m believing the lie God doesn’t know what He’s doing, and He will abandon me. He is giving me more than He is capable of empowering me to handle.

That was especially true when Larry’s mother, Audrey, lived with us. When it was clear Audrey could no longer live on her own, I felt dejected, knowing the only option was caring for her in our home. I sat on the patio, looking out at the setting sun. I felt like my life had just set. My life is gone. My life is ruined. I felt hopeless and helpless to battle against God’s will or believe He could help me win the battle. What will become of me?

My husband, Larry, also struggled with discontent. As time went along and his mom was diagnosed with Lewy Body Dementia, which includes paranoia, delusions, and hallucinations, he described feeling weary, as if he was being swallowed up by the endless needs of a demented woman who accused him of trying to kill her. Audrey ended up denying Larry was even her son.

We should have listened to what God says as he continues talking to the Israelites through Micah,

“For I brought you up from the land of Egypt

and redeemed you from the house of slavery,

and I sent before you Moses,

Aaron, and Miriam” (Micah 6:4).

He encourages them to remember all the times and ways He has provided for them in the past. And if He cared in the past, He would provide again and again and again.

Just as God had an answer for the complaining Israelites, Larry and I turned more and more to God’s answers and strength to combat our weariness. Day by day we remembered God’s faithful provision in the past when He healed our marriage and used our story to encourage others as we spoke at marriage retreats. We leaned on him asking for His power and guidance for Audrey’s care.

When we fell back into a weary whining, God’s words through Micah spoke to us, “How have I wearied you? Don’t I have the right to do anything I want with my servants—you? I’m empowering you and changing you. Trust me.”

We were humbled because we saw our complaints as what they really were: rebellion against the loving hand of God. God’s joy, freedom, and surrender were available to us. We could trust He was the same God who provided in the past and would strengthen us again and again. Plus, we discovered greater joy in each other as we united to serve a mentally ill woman.

After two-and-a-half years of living in our home, when Audrey joined Jesus in heaven, the Lord whispered in our hearts, “Well done, good and faithful servants.” He was the faithful one and deserved the credit, even to overcome our weary feelings.

Why do you think it’s difficult to remember God’s faithful past provision during a difficult challenge?

Think of a way God provided for you in the past which could encourage you in a current difficulty.

Faithful God, I praise you for your provision even though I am not faithful. Thank you for being willing to empower me by reminding me of the last time you provided more than I thought you could.

Kathy Collard Miller and Larry Miller have been married since 1970 and speak and write both separately and together. Their most recent book is God’s Intriguing Questions: 40 Old Testament Devotions Revealing God’s Nature (from which this post has been adapted). Kathy and Larry are parents, grandparents, lay-counselors and live in Southern California. They have spoken internationally and nationally. www.KathyCollardMiller.com

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When Dreams Aren’t Coming True

September 26, 2019 by Leave a Comment

One morning I sat on my screen porch praying and seeking God.  Discouragement hung heavy on my heart. One of my life dreams just didn’t seem to be coming true. Writing had been my passion since the sixth grade. I wrote for the school newspaper in junior and senior high. I majored in creative writing in college.  My desire to be a writer stuck with me continuously through life, even as various detours caused that dream to drop by the wayside again and again. Some of those detours were God driven, and I willingly followed His lead, using my passion for writing in each of those endeavors. Gradually, local opportunities surfaced.

When the bottom dropped out of my life through a heart-breaking three-year separation from my husband, God began to prepare my heart to go deeper into Himself and into the plans He had for me.

In the year 2000 after my husband and I reconciled, the doors opened for my writing. I published my first article in HomeLife, then Focus on the Family. I became a contributing writer for Tapestry, a Walk Thru the Bible devotional for women.  More significantly, through the heartache I had suffered during our separation, God planted seeds of healing and grace that resulted in my writing Broken Heart on Hold. Four years later, I received my first book contract for it. Through the trauma of heartache, my dreams were finally coming true.

But like so many of us I was satisfied for only a little while.  Eventually, I wanted more. The book proposals and drafts I wrote for two more books went nowhere. My agent faithfully persevered with me through one rejection after another. The rejections were kind: “She writes well,” “Great concept.” Etc.  But they were rejections, and I didn’t understand why God was not allowing me to publish other books that would lift up His name.

A New Revelation

That day on my screen porch as I prayed and spilled out my heart to God in disappointment, I asked God why, why had I not received the blessing I was seeking. As I prayed, a scripture came to mind  that had been hooked into a tab at the top of my bathroom mirror for years.

“If you abide in me and my words abide in you, you can ask what you want and it will be given to you”   (John 15:7).

I had glanced at the scripture often. Abiding.  Abiding with God. Yes, that was something I desired and tried to do.

“I’ve done that, Lord,” I said aloud. “I have abided with you. Through all those painful times, I abided with you.  I pray all the time.  You know that, Lord.”

In the stillness of my heart God answered me. “But that’s only a part of the promise, Linda.  Yes, you’ve abided in me. But what’s the last part? And my words abide in you.”  Have my words abided in you?”

My mind immediately skipped back to a Beth Moore Bible Study I had recently completed and a story she had told in her Breaking Free video where she told about a woman to whom God abruptly and forcefully spoke an admonition into her heart and mind saying, “Get in my Word!”

Those words resonated with me now too. God’s voice came through loud and clear in the recesses of my mind. I suddenly saw what was lacking: it was not only my knowledge of scripture, but my time reading His Word.  I was not consistent with daily Bible reading.  Oh, I had read through the New Testament a few times, but only once had I read all the way through the Old Testament. And I knew they are oh so connected!

So it came as a shock to me when I realized that although I had gazed upon that scripture on my mirror for years, I had missed an important part of it.

Abiding

Acting upon my new revelation, I got in God’s Word. I began spending time in the scriptures each day. I meditated on the verses I read.  I enrolled in Bible Study Fellowship, a wonderful, in depth study that digs down into God’s Word and plants His truths deep into the hearts of participants.  Although God’s Word had been alive to me before, through time in more intensive Bible Study and meditation, the scriptures themselves began to live in my heart and mind so I could begin to pull them up when I needed God’s wisdom.

As time continued to unfold, I saw that God was teaching me an important lesson about our dreams coming true. When we expect God to grant our desires, but our dreams aren’t coming true,  we may be missing something God wants to show us. In fact, He may have plans for us that are bigger than ours. His purposes for us may reach higher than our own limited vision allows, and we are not yet ready to receive them. That is what I saw happen to me and my writing.

This year, when I published my third book, Fighting for Your Marriage while Separated, I saw God’s hand in it at every level. A few weeks ago, when it won the Golden Scroll Non-fiction Book of the Year Award from AWSA, an association of distinguished Christian authors, I praised God that His ways are perfect and so much better than mine. He knew the plans He had for me. He knew the book He wanted me to write and publish that could bless people’s lives, families, and marriages in important and transformational ways. His plans were bigger than mine, and as I grasped hold of what God wanted to teach me, He allowed my dreams to come true in ways that surpassed my expectations.

He has plans for you too. If your dreams aren’t coming true, you may not be able to see what God is doing right now, but perhaps you too need to hunker down in His Word and let it come alive in your heart so you can see His bigger purposes unfold in your life.

What dreams do you have that aren’t coming true? What do you feel God saying to you about this right now? I love to see your comments.

If you are struggling through a difficult time in your marriage, please check out my new book, Fighting for Your Marriage while Separated

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Filed Under: BOOKS, Desire, disappointment, Expectations, Goals and Resolutions, God's Word, Prayer, Trusting God, Trying to understand, unanswered prayers, Uncategorized Tagged With: , , , , ,

When Prayers Go Unanswered

May 22, 2019 by 1 Comment

Why does it sometimes seem to take so long for God to answer our prayers?

We cry out to God, knowing—believing—that all God has to do is speak the word and He can give us what we want.

We cry out.  We ask.  We believe.

Sometimes the answer comes quickly, and we’re amazed and blown away by the wonder of His answer. And sometimes it’s a clear “no” as Janet talked about in her post last week.

But other times—many times– we wait while answers seem to hang suspended in the heavens. We can’t see them. Nor hear them.  Nothing seems to be happening. Our prayers go unanswered.

And then come the doubts. Does He not hear?  Does He not care? Why must we suffer through the distress of unanswered prayers?

Why?

The Potter

God is our Father, our Provider, our Advocate, our Strong Deliverer, our Refuge and Strength.  But another one of His roles in our lives is that of the Potter. He is the Author and Perfecter of our faith, the One who searches hearts and minds,

He loves us exactly like we are, but He, our Creator, can also see the breathtaking beauty within us that still lies rough and unshapen amidst the confusion of our souls.  He is the potter taking the warm clay of our lives in His hands to mold us into what He envisioned us to be at the moment of our conception.

Why must we wait?  Why do our prayers go unanswered? Sometimes it’s because He loves us so very much that He wants to bring out that beauty within us.  And sometimes we wait while God kneads and molds the life of someone close to us, someone who is watching us, someone who needs the touch of God on their life.

It may be a prodigal child, a spiritually lost spouse, or a parent who has yet to meet the Savior.  It may even be a friend who watches us from afar to see the miracle of God’s love grow deep and bold within us as we look to Him in faith.

But all this takes time and surrender.

When prayers go unanswered and we wait anxiously for an answer, God may be waiting for us to acknowledge His role as potter and surrender our pain to the potter’s wheel where He can turn it into the lustrous gold of eternal praise and glory to His name.

A Bigger Plan

He is our Emanuel, God with us.  He has not abandoned us.  He is here, and He has a plan.  His plans are higher than ours and have a breadth of purpose we cannot comprehend, but He promises that if we love Him and are called according to His purpose, it will all work together for good.

When we wait through the disappointment of unanswered prayers, we give God time to carry out His plans for us and those we love.

1 Peter 1: 6-7 says: “You rejoice in this, though now for a short time you have had to be distressed by various trials so that the genuineness of your faith—more valuable than gold, which perishes though refined by fire—may result in praise, glory, and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ.” (HCSB)

If this is where you are right now . . . if your prayers seem to have gone unanswered, place your prayers on the altar where God can take them and breathe new life into your dreams and desires so He can carry out His perfect will for your life. Wait on Him.  Let the Potter do His work. He knows how to create beauty from the ashes of unanswered prayers.

if you want God’s spirit refreshed and renewed in your life—offer up the following song as a prayer to Him.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BagH-zTfnsQ

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Filed Under: Doubt, Prayer, Surrendering to God, Trying to understand, unanswered prayers, Uncategorized Tagged With: , , , ,

When God Says “No”

May 15, 2019 by 15 Comments

When our world is rocked with crisis and we cry out to God, what do we do when the answer we seem to get from Him is not what we want to hear?  How do we respond when God says “no?”

Award winning author and speaker Janet McHenry has an answer for us, and I asked her to share with us her answers to this question. For in her new book, The Complete Guide to the Prayers of Jesus: What Jesus Prayed and How It Will Change Your Life Today, she tells us how the very prayers that Jesus prayed can teach us how to respond when we hear that disappointing “no.”

So I’m going to turn “Heart Talk” over to Janet today. If you leave a comment for Janet, I will enter your name in a drawing for her new book, The Complete Guide to the Prayers of Jesus, published by Bethany House.

When God Says “No”

by Janet McHenry

One of the toughest things to handle as a Christian is how to respond when God says “No.”

We know that every prayer for healing is not answered.

Every prayer to be saved from bankruptcy is not answered.

Every prayer to save a marriage is not answered.

So . . . what are we to believe about prayer in those contexts? And what are we to believe about God?

After all, didn’t God say in Jeremiah 33:3, “Call to me and I will answer you”?

In Psalm 37:4 God says, “Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart.”

And Jesus said, “I tell you the truth, my Father will give you whatever you ask in my name. Until now you have not asked for anything in my name. Ask and you will receive, and your joy will be complete” (John 16:23-24).

Yes, God answers all prayers in some way. Pastor and author Rick Warren has said, “God answers every single prayer. Now, he doesn’t answer them the way you’d like it every time, but it’s an answer. ‘No” is an answer. ‘Wait” is an answer. ‘Grow up’ is an answer. ‘In a little while’ is an answer. ‘In my way’ is an answer. God never leaves a prayer unanswered.”

So, okay, technically the answer was “no” . . . there was an answer, but how do we reconcile that no answer with the earlier scripture promises about fulfilling our heart’s desires and such? And then how do we as Christians respond?

Because I always turn to Jesus as my prayer mentor, I searched how he responded when the Father said “no” to him.

Jesus prayed what I called the two-sided coin prayer in one of my books many years ago: “Abba, Father, everything is possible for you. Take this cup from me. Yet not what I will, but what you will.”

On the one side of the coin: “Take this cup from me.”

On the other side of the coin: “Yet not what I will, but what you will.”

So, Jesus laid out his heart’s desire . . . and his Abba, his Father, said “no” . . . and Jesus headed to the Cross.

The next three of Jesus’s prayers, I believe, spell out how we can respond as Christians when we don’t see our prayers answered the way we’d like. These are the last three of Jesus’s ten prayers that we have—and all of them he said as he was hanging on the Cross.

Forgive 

The first of those three prayers is “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing” (Luke 23:34). So the first thing we can do is forgive.

Jesus was forgiving the soldiers who had nailed him to the Cross, but perhaps he also was forgiving Pontius Pilate and the Jewish officials and even Peter, who had denied him, and the rest of the disciples, who had vanished.

Years ago my rancher husband had seven cattle that died in a two-day blizzard. Six calves and an old bull had bedded down in a dry creek bed and gotten covered over. Despite those conditions, Craig was convicted of six felony animal abuse charges four years later. Because the judge refused to allow our key witness to testify—a UC Davis vet professor, the chief expert in the West on cattle—and refused to have a lot of important evidence admitted, we won a reversal in the California Court of Appeals, but we had a lot of forgiving to do. That case took six years out of our lives, as well as a lot of financial resources. But forgiveness isn’t about what we deserve; it’s kingdom work, and it’s what Jesus did, so we do it in obedience.

Lament 

The second thing we can do when God says “no” is lament. Lament means to cry out mournfully. And Jesus’s second prayer continues to give us insight about how to respond: “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?” (Matt. 27:45-46).

Yes, go ahead and cry it out. God can take it. Not complain. But cry out in your pain.

This prayer above all others addresses the biggest, most-often asked question mankind has about God. WHY? Why does God allow suffering? Why must we fall into the hellholes of life? If God loves us so much, wouldn’t such a loving Father steer us around the intersections of pain? Couldn’t there be a better way?

Jesus used the word “forsaken.” He was deserted, dumped, abandoned . . . at least he humanly felt that way. But his being abandoned led to our being adopted. Just as an abandoned baby left at a church or a firehouse might be adopted by a young couple that had been praying for years, Jesus’ abandonment, led to our adoption.

It’s true that we might not always see the purpose in our suffering. We may never. Yes, life isn’t fair. And sometimes the WHY? question gets stuck in our hearts. It hurts. But we can control how we respond.  We can use our pain for others’ good, if we stop, look around, see others who are suffering in similar ways, and reach out to them to encourage and support them. We do not have to stay in that place of feeling forsaken. We can take practical steps to use our hurt to help others.

Submit  

In Jesus’s third prayer from the cross, we learn to submit. Scripture tells us “It was now about the sixth hour, and darkness came over the whole land until the ninth hour, for the sun stopped shining. And the curtain of the temple was torn in two. Jesus called out with a loud voice, ‘Father, into your hands I commit my spirit.’ And when he said this, he breathed his last” (Luke 23:44-46.

“Into your hands.” Wow, that could seem like a scary prayer, except that when we commit or submit ourselves to our heavenly Father fully, we are giving ourselves to the God who redeemed us, the One who adopted us, the one who loves us.

I know such relinquishment, because I saw this through my dad. Six months after he began noticing that he was having a hard time gripping a golf club anymore, he was diagnosed with amyotrophic lateral sclerosis—ALS—which destroys the nerve endings to the muscles until eventually the person cannot move, cannot breathe, cannot count on a heartbeat.

Although the doctors said he would have two to four years, he died five months after diagnosis. However, he not only showed other people how to live with faith; he showed others how to die with faith.

My dad had a quick wit, always turning a phrase and telling jokes. Even in his last hours he was still joking with those around him. The day before he passed away, he was still able to push the call button, so he called for the nurse, who came in and said, “Did you call me, Bob?”

He smiled and said, “Why would I call you Bob? Your name is Mary.”

You see, people, the world doesn’t need to see Christians living out their faith in prosperity and posting all the happy stuff on Facebook. They need to see us facing struggles with dignity, with faith, and with integrity. They need to see us thanking God despite our pain and struggles. They need to see us real and vulnerable, yes . . . but in a looking-up posture that shows that FAITH WORKS: that God is real in our lives, that he is worthy of our trust, and that it is our faith alone that sustains us in the Dark Night of the Soul.

Jesus’ prayers teach us how to respond when God says “no”: forgive, lament, and submit. But they show us something even more important: the ONE THING we need to remember about prayer. God himself is the bigger reason for prayer. He wants us to bring our needs before him. He wants us to offer praise and thanksgiving and confession, but even more than that, HE himself is the bigger reason for prayer. He wants us to develop our relationship with him, to be a bigger part of our daily, moment-by-moment life, drawing closer to him and learning more about his good character.

Prayer is not about finding pockets of time to say a few remote-controlled phrases. Prayer is about relationship—becoming closer to the One who created you and loves you, so that when God says “no,” you simply nod your head and know he still loves you, he is still in control, and he will walk you through the valley you’re in.

If you’d like a chance to receive a free copy of The Complete Guide to the Prayers of Jesus: What Jesus Prayed and How It will Change Your Life Today, please leave a comment below.

* * *

Janet McHenry is an award-winning speaker and the author of 24 books, including the best-selling PrayerWalk and her newest, The Complete Guide to the Prayers of Jesus: What Jesus Prayed and How It Will Change Your Life Today. You can see more about Janet, her speaking ministry, and her books at www.janetmchenry.com.

 

 

 

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Filed Under: BOOKS, disappointment, Doubt, faith, Knowing God, Letting go, Prayer, Surrendering to God, Trusting God, Trying to understand, unanswered prayers, Uncategorized Tagged With: , , , ,

MESSY GARDENS – MESSY LIVES

March 27, 2019 by 2 Comments

Feeling the need for a concentrated time of prayer one morning, I stepped onto the patio with Bible in hand and cozied myself into one of the lawn chairs. I felt unsettled.   Things were not going as I thought they should, and I felt my heart tugging in several directions.  The needs in my life seemed numerous and I longed for direction, but my prayers seemed to hang suspended without answers. How was my world fitting together?

As I reflected on my circumstances, I gazed about the wilderness of my yard.  It was wild and messy and reminded me of a scene from The Shack, a book I’d been reading in which the protagonist Mackenzie encounters God and works through some of the ironies of his faith.  In this particular scene, when Mackenzie walks into a garden with a character named Sarayu, who represents the Holy Spirit, Sarayu tells him about the significance of the garden’s messiness. “This garden is your soul,” Sarayu says to Mackenzie.  “This mess is you!”  

The messy garden was his soul?

Wow!

I related.  I felt that I was a mess right then—scrambled and unsure of myself.  Maybe this garden –my own yard—was a picture of my soul, pretty in spots, but unkempt and messy in others.  Certain bushes flowered; others waited for another season to bloom.  Fern and philodendron meandered about, overgrown and out of control.  Everywhere weeds, desperately needing extraction, wound through beds, spoiling what would otherwise be attractive

The words of Sarayu continued swirling through my head as he further unveiled to Mackenzie why they had spent the morning together digging in the garden, which was desperately confusing and messy and “a chaos of color,” but beautiful at the same time.

“Together you and I, we have been working with a purpose in your heart. And it is wild and beautiful and perfectly in process.  To you it seems like a mess, but I see a perfect pattern emerging and growing and alive.”

The memory of Sarayu’s words hit me with meaning. Was this similar to how I was?  My messy garden and my messy life, both in process?  Both wild and beautiful at the same time?  Could the messiness in my life actually be part of the beauty?

A Message Through the Ages

As I read my Bible that day and contemplated the truth I saw in my garden as it related to the scene from The Shack, I realized that this had been one of God’s messages throughout the ages.  When we allow God to work in our lives, He uses our strengths and weaknesses, pain and joy, failures and successes for His good purpose.  We are infinitely complex, and the Holy Spirit joyfully cultivates the beauty and messiness of our lives, scrambling it all together to form a perfect design that pulsates with new life as it emerges from the confusion of its surroundings.   Even the Bible surprises us with countless stories of people who followed God but had imperfect lives.

Take a look at Peter, Jesus’ disciple. He must have bitterly bemoaned his messy and capricious heart as he wept bitter tears after denying Jesus not once but three times and at the very moment his Lord was being condemned to death by the Pharisees.  How his heart must have withered when Jesus looked at him after that third denial.  The conviction that must have burned within his heart!  The self-doubt! The self-condemnation!  Peter had walked beside Jesus for three years, loved him, vowed never to leave him, but in Jesus’ greatest hour of need, he denied that he even knew him.

But Peter—like us—was in process.  He’d come from being a rough-speaking fisherman to a follower of Jesus who one moment was adamant in his unfailing love and the next embarrassed and afraid to be discovered as one of his followers.  After Jesus rose from the dead, Jesus plied Peter with questions to test his heart, then challenged him to take the keys of God’s kingdom to a lost world. Peter led the charge.  He became a leader among the apostles, suffering many times for his steadfast loyalty and courageous preaching about Jesus as the way to salvation.  God took his messy heart and turned him into the rock, the foundation for a growing church of believers.

Like Peter, I’m in process.  You’re in process.  God looks deep within us and sees the good as well as the messy and troublesome parts that with a little prodding can bloom into something beautiful—something He saw there at the beginning of time when He first thought to create us.  He has a future and a plan for us that will grow into reality when we allow Him to be the Gardener of our hearts.

“He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus. . . . It is God who works in you to will and to act according to his good purpose.” Phil: 1:6 & 2:13

© Linda Rooks 2019

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Filed Under: Desire, disappointment, Feeling unworthy, mistakes, New Directions, Time with God, Trying to understand, unanswered prayers, Uncategorized, Where is God? Tagged With: , , , , ,
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