God Shift – A Divine Move From Disruption To Destiny

Book cover for A God ShiftGuest Post By Shayna Rattler

Do you find yourself asking, “what the heck is going on in my life”? Perhaps you are feeling stuck, no longer passionate, or that you’re on the wrong path? Life is full of setbacks, disappointments, and uncertainties. God uses these unexpected circumstances as a means to get your attention and draw you into greater possibility, but most believers are ill-equipped to properly understand or respond appropriately to the disruptions God allows to happen in their life. They also fall into the trap of solely relying on the prayers of others or waiting idly on God for their situation to change, when in fact they have the authority to partner with God to create the life He promises and they desire.

If you are having a tough time overcoming the unexpected circumstances God has thrown your way, you may be in the need of a God shift! A God shift is when a disruption in your life collides with God’s purpose and moves you into new dimensions of possibility. It is a process you go through in order to ultimately get to where God needs you most, and become the person He needs you to be, in order to accomplish what He needs you to do. God is trying to get your attention and invite you into greater possibility. Why? Because another level of destiny awaits you and it’s time to be more, do more, and have more.

So you’re ready to shift, now what?

Here is what it takes to make SHIFT happen…

  1. Release. Perhaps the most difficult part of shifting is letting go. Some of the most common things we need to release are the life we planned, how we planned it, and who and what we planned it to include. Be more open to what God desires.
  1. Become. Your shifting season is going to be more about being than doing. Consider it a process of discovery or an opportunity to reinvent yourself. Focus on amplifying your strengths and shedding your weaknesses.
  1. Move In order to shift successfully, you have to be committed to taking action, even if your steps are laced with uncertainty. It’s time to discover your new possibilities. What are the steps you can take NOW to get you closer to your next? Not sure? Get help so you don’t stay stuck.
  1. Avoid Seeking Clarity and Confirmation. When God instructs you to take a step and you continue to look for more clarity and confirmation it is an indication you are full of doubt. Doubt and destiny are polar opposites so begin to see opportunities as confirmation that God has answered your prayers.
  1. Use Your God-Given Authority. When Jesus died He left you with the exact power He had and left with you the ability to use that power in your day to day life. It’s your job to uncover the authority you have as a believer to manifest your desires into existence just as Christ did. In life, especially when you are faced with obstacles, it is important that you have a deep understanding of your identity. The good news is that if you are a believer in God you have power that can overcome anything. The most powerful tool of authority you have access to is your words! Every word you speak MUST be in alignment with what you are praying for. If you find yourself speaking contrary to what you’re praying for, immediately confess that you do not agree with what you spoke and replace the previous declaration with one that proclaims what you desire. Now that you’ve discovered the foundational rules of shifting I hope you see the disruptions in your life from a different perspective. Something that HAD to happen. Fortunately, it happened for you and not to you. What is important now is to continue to dream and commit to where God is taking you. Your life is an incubator for miracles! Keep trusting and keep going.

 

Shayna Rattler is the author of A God Shift and Founder of A God Shift Movement. She is a minister, speaker, author, podcaster, and TV show host. For more tips to grow your faith, he invites you to download the FREE guide When God Says Shift at www.GodSaysShift.com.

 

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Standing on the Ramparts

Trying To Figure It All Out

ramparts - brick castle walls

Photo by Tom Podmore

SOMETIMES LIFE JUST SEEMS CONFUSING. No matter how we try to figure it all out, things are not fitting together like they should. It might be relationships. It might be a struggle for success that goes nowhere. It might be one problem piling up after another until we can’t regain our balance. It might be anxiety over the world around us. And although we pray, things just don’t seem to get any better.

In a recent Bible study, I encountered the prophet Habakkuk who was heartbroken over the injustice he saw swirling around him. He cried out to God in distress, and God surprised him with an answer. But when God responded to his prayer and told him His plans, Habakkuk continued to be confused. God’s response didn’t align with his expectations. He struggled to understand what God was doing. Instead of relieving his pain, it seemed God’s plans would accelerate the pain.

Habakkuk didn’t get angry or depressed however. Instead he had an attitude of awe. The everlasting God had a plan, and although he didn’t understand it, he knew in God’s goodness and sovereignty, the plan would work everything for good in God’s timing and in His way.

“I will stand my watch and set myself on the rampart, and watch to see what He will say to me, and what I will answer when I am corrected.” Hab 2:1

That was Habakkuk’s response, and it inspires me to grasp hold of the attitude of faith he had that led to that response.

Standing on the Ramparts

Standing on the wall around Jerusalem that protected the nation from coming invaders, Habakkuk could not only look off in the distance in every direction to watch for the enemy’s approach, but also wait to see how God’s plan would unfold. He waited with expectation to see what God would say to him next, and I imagine standing on the walls surrounding Jerusalem was a good place to get alone with God to listen for His voice and get His perspective.

Although Habakkuk was utterly confused by what God was doing, He knew the character of God. He knew that God was sovereign, holy and good, and that He was the rock to hold onto.

Habakkuk’s example of standing on the ramparts speaks volumes to me about a positive way to react when life is confusing or taking an unwanted turn and I just can’t figure it all out.

In times of waiting, when we can’t figure it all out, taking a step away from our circumstances can offer a new perspective. But even better, if, like Habakkuk, we position ourselves on the ramparts, we can see beyond the problems engulfing us. And if we ask God to come along beside us, his very presence lifts us above our circumstances. As we trust in Him further, He gives us eyes to see and ears to hear.

When I think about standing on the ramparts myself, I might actually be sitting on my screen porch, but I picture myself surrounded by miles and miles of a blue, cloudless sky looking out over a large distance—not necessarily of space, but of time. I begin by peering into the future of God’s promises and then into the past where He has already fulfilled many promises and answered many prayers:

As I gaze into my own past, I remember surprising twists and turns God allowed in my life that brought unexpected blessings

As I ponder scriptural stories, I uncover promises fulfilled in past generations which makes me want to dig down further into God’s character so I can understand more about this amazing God who is not only the creator of the universe but the God “who sees me.” (Gen: 16:13)

As I “stand on the ramparts,” allowing those reflections to take root in m heart, I can wait on Him to speak new truths into my heart and give me fresh understandings of His Word. And when that happens, I begin to see with God’s perspective.

There’s something secure and steady about the idea of standing on the ramparts. It’s not a temporary, stand or just a little break while I try to figure it all out. Habakkuk was standing on the ramparts as a long term strategy. He would stay there until God spoke to him.

An Attitude of Awe and Humility

But Habakkuk not only stood on the ramparts with an attitude of awe. He also stood before God with humility, knowing that his own understanding and interpretations were often flawed. “I will stand my watch and set myself on the rampart, and watch to see what He will say to me, and what I will answer when I am corrected.” Hab 2:1

The beauty of his words is in his unassuming posture and realization that it’s the humility of a surrendered heart before God that truly brings us answers. Habakkuk had already encountered God’s correction in the dialogue he’d just had with God. And he was ready for more. When we’re too full of our own preconceptions, we leave little room for God to speak to us. When our hearts are hollowed out, God’s powerful words can fill the void.

God is in this with us. We are not alone, and as we stand apart from our circumstances, humbly looking for God’s perspective we can stand strong and hopeful, secure in His sovereign power and love.

If we are standing on the ramparts humbly waiting on God, we don’t know what we will hear or what He will bring our way, but if we’re looking in all directions with open eyes and ears, if we are alert to His voice, we can anticipate wonders that only He can orchestrate. And we’ll be ready to receive them.

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not unto your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your paths.” Proverbs 3:5-6

(As a side note: You might want to read the book of Habakkuk for yourself. It’s very short (3 chapters), but a powerful example for us today. Habakkuk was a prophet in the last days before Judah’s fall. He was distressed over the corruption and sin he saw everywhere. And although he was glad that God answered him, he trembled at the prophecy of an invading and ruthless army that would come and conquer Judah as an answer to his prayer for justice. “My heart pounded . . . my lips quivered.”  Yet I will wait patiently for the day of calamity. . .Though the fig tree does not bud and there are no grapes on the vine . . .yet I will rejoice in the Lord, I will be joyful in God my Savior, the Sovereign Lord is my strength. . . .” Hab. 3:16-17)

If you are standing with a troubled marriage on hold, trying to figure it all out and you want to see how God will lead you, I encourage you to check out my two books, Broken Heart on Hold and Fighting for Your Marriage while Separated.

 

 

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They Don’t Tell: Child Abuse: A Mother’s Perspective – Author Interview with Lisa Gray

A yellow bookcover with the picture of a mother and childWITH WHAT’S BEEN happening in our country this last week, our hearts and minds have been taken captive by thoughts about our children and the horror some of them had to endure at the hands of a heartless and cruel individual. But our hearts also go out to the parents and the pain they’ve experienced as they try to comprehend the incomprehensible awfulness of what happened.

There’s another horror story some children endure and other mothers who are gripped with pain in the discovery. In Lisa Gray’s book, They Don’t Tell: Child Abuse: A Mother’s Perspective, Lisa broaches a subject that is difficult to talk about, but she shares it from the vulnerability of a mother who has experienced the pain but discovered the healing.

Linda: Lisa, I know this is a dark subject, but I believe you’ve told me the book is not about darkness, but about hope. Please tell me what you mean by that.

Lisa: I believe we need to always be reminded that even in the darkest of situations, there’s always hope because we serve the God of Hope!

Linda: So now that we’ve given away the ending – that there is hope—tell me what They Don’t Tell: Child Abuse: A Mother’s Perspective is about.

Lisa: A mother’s heart, a heart that has been broken, shattered, stomped upon, torn apart and left in utter disarray.  The revelation of knowing your child has been violated by those who were “supposed” to care and nurture them is unlike any other pain I’ve ever experienced in my life!

Linda: So please tell us why you decided to write They Don’t Tell: Child Abuse: A Mother’s Perspective

Lisa: I felt the Lord wanted me to share my story, my journey back to health and wholeness for myself and my family. The book is meant for those who like me felt so alone, so isolated AND felt guilt and shame!  I was supposed to provide safety, protection, and security.  That was not my daughter’s experience.

I have to say I listen to Bishop T D Jakes a great deal, and I remember thinking to myself, “Why does he always talk about sexual abuse?”  I know it happens.  My head is not buried in the sand, but does it really happen THAT much?  I mean does it happen enough to warrant him continually talking about it ad nausea?  Well give me a chance now, and boy oh boy have I changed my story!  Today I say. “Bishop preach!”  Linda, today I understand that while I was thinking those very thoughts, I never knew that sexual abuse was happening in my own house, under my own roof, to My own daughter.

Linda: That’s heartbreaking, Lisa. Tell us how you were able to deal with it?

Lisa: Well let me assure you, it was not easy.  It was a process that took time, prayer, and—if I can be honest—I’ll admit there was some self-pity, Lisa Gray, authorsome self-loathing, and many questions of why and how could this happen.  I’m a good person, I love the Lord, this is not supposed to happen to Christians like us.

Linda, many times I had to fight the enemy in my mind…which is why the Lord tells us in scripture to take every thought captive…not to just sit in it, not to soak in the negativity but to fight.

There were days where I would fight with worship music, there were days when I would fight with scripture, there were days when I would fight with scriptures.  I would put scriptures all around me to remind me that God was faithful.  There were sticky notes on my refrigerator, my bathroom mirror, my car review mirror…because the assault against my mind was unrelenting, but only for a season.

I can say my family and my church family rallied around us also and supported us greatly through that season.

Because God is the same yesterday, today and forever we can stand on his word, and he will and does bring us through!

Linda: Lisa, that is such a powerful reminder of how to persevere through difficult times. Yes, God is faithful! What do you want readers to take away from your message in your book, They Don’t Tell?

Lisa: Linda if there’s anything I’d like for your listeners and my readers to know, I want to remind them that the enemy comes after our faith, and our resolve to judge the Lord faithful…even in the storms of life.  He really wanted me and others to walk away from the Lord and curse the Lord because of the trial and the storm.  I would never do that.  I understood that our LORD is faithful through every trial, every storm. And I understood my children, my family, my church family, even the community was looking to see how I was going to handle this.  Instead of running from God and to alcohol, drugs, gambling, shopping, food, whatever vice we use as false refuge, when the Bible clearly tells us the Lord is our strong tower, we run to him and are safe!

Run to him, Run to the throne of grace and plead for Mercy, judge the Lord faithful throughout all the circumstances. His mercies are new every morning, for you and your family!

Linda: After this terrible incident of child abuse happened to you and your daughter, where are you now in life? And how is your daughter?

Lisa Gray and DaughterLisa: This is myself and my daughter Nikki now—after the storm, after the hurt, after the trauma, after the healing, and after restoration has taken place in both of our lives.  We are better, stronger, more resilient, and determined that what we went through others can go through as well and survive!​  We walked this out together, and now are compelled to open up our lives and hold our heads high because like any of you who’ve experienced this—we have nothing to be ashamed of!

Linda: Has this experience of dealing with child abuse taught you anything new or transformed your thinking in any way?

Lisa: The Lord has taken me into a new area for me, one I never truly understood, but now I do.  Generational curses.  Although we don’t realize it, we actually have understood them along certain areas of our lives because every time we go into a medical facility they want a breakdown of our medical history.  Well, Linda, hidden in those familiar medical patterns are the generational iniquities that have been repeating throughout our generations.  Now I work with individuals and families to uncover, and uproot those patterns—of cancer, heart disease, brokenness, sexual immorality, etc.  My website is :  Bloodline Curse Breakers.com.  I can also be reached through email at kidsdonttell@gmail.com or by phone at 1 (202) 810-5687.

Linda: Do you have any final thoughts to share:

Lisa: Yes, this was a HORRIBLE situation, but when we give it to God, trust him, lean on and into him through the process, he will turn it around for our good.  His word cannot return to him void, and what the enemy meant for bad, God turns it around for our good.

Now I get the opportunity and the honor to share God’s word and his redemption all around the world.  My daughter is well and flourishing, and my ex-husband is serving a prison term of 15-40 years for the violation.

Linda: Where can people find your book, They Don’t Tell: Child Abuse: A Mother’s Perspective?

Lisa: The best place to find the book is on Amazon or they can reach out to me at the above email. You can also find out more about me and my book on my website at bloodline cursebreaker – Author counsellor speaker

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In The Waiting Room

white couch in waiting room

Photo by Bernard Hermant

THE COLOR ON the chart was green. Sitting in the waiting room, looking at the color-coded chart on the wall, I knew my husband was now with the doctor. The green beside his assigned number told me the surgery had started. But I had no idea what was going on.  “Lord, take care of my husband. Let the surgery be successful.”

The doctor had told us the procedure would last between two to four hours, and then possibly another hour in recovery before I would see him—before I’d know how he was. And even then I wasn’t sure I’d really know how he was.

I studied the colors on the chart again – green for in surgery, blue for recovery. I needed to trust the doctor. He was experienced and I knew he was good at what he did. He had a good reputation, and I needed to trust him. But more than that, I needed to trust the Great Physician whose presence was in that operating room, whose presence was with me, whose strength, might, and wisdom were available as I called out to Him.

I turned my eyes to the anxious faces of others sitting around me in the waiting room. All waiting. Uncertain of the outcome. Waiting.

The waiting room is a hard place to be. Lots of questions. No answers—even while we know very serious events are taking place behind closed doors. Although, we don’t know what’s going on in the operating room, we know who’s in charge. So we sit, and we wait, and we trust the physician.

In so many circumstances of our lives we find ourselves once again in that waiting room with lots of questions churning around in our heads. No answers are available to us, but in faith, we look to God knowing He is the Great Physician whose presence permeates our lives. He has the answers. He is faithful to those who trust in Him, who love Him, and look to Him for help.

When we check out His credentials in the Bible, we see story after story where people sat in the waiting room of life while behind the scenes God worked answers they would never – in their own knowledge or experience—have been able to see or understand.

I think of Joseph, sitting in prison after his brothers betrayed him and sold him to slave traders. He had no idea that in a few years, God would raise him up from that prison to be governor in charge over all the land of Egypt. While he waited, God was working behind the scenes.

I think of Elizabeth – waiting, barren, wanting a child, getting old, not knowing that just when it seemed too late for her to have children and she seemed beyond child bearing age, she would bear a son who would be the forerunner of Christ—John the Baptist.

I think of us, with problems weighing us down – a spouse who has left, a rebellious child tearing at our heart, health problems, or financial burdens straining our ability to function. Yet, while we wait, God is working His good into the brokenness of our situation. He is softening the clay of our lives so He can mold us into His perfect vision of us. He has plans. He knows us. He loves us. And if we love Him, if we call on His name, He will work “all things together for good to those who love him and are called according to His purpose” (Rom. 8:28).

Proverbs 3:5-6 says, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your path.”

And as you and I sit in the waiting room, that’s where our minds need to turn, focused on that Great Physician, trusting in the One who has the answers, the One who can take away our fear and replace it with peace.

He is our Jehovah Rapha, the one who heals. He is our provider, our Jehovah Jireh. He, indeed, is our great Deliverer.

If your waiting room includes waiting for a spouse to respond to your love and return to you, my books, Broken Heart on Hold and Fighting for Your Marriage while Separated may be able to guide you to the good outcome you’re hoping for.

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If My Words Abide in You

Open Bible with glasses lying on topIT’S SO INTERESTING TO ME that the more we allow God’s Word to abide within us, the more we begin to understand His words.  I remember a time when I thought, “Well, I’ve read through the Bible, and I’ve even read these books of the New Testament two or three times. I know what they say.”

I wondered why it was important for me to read them again . . . and again … and again, reading the Bible over and over each day throughout my life as a Christian.

But one day recently, after having spent considerably more time in the Bible, I found myself talking to someone and words of scripture were coming off my tongue as I tried to encourage her. And in my prayers I found myself praying with words of scripture.

All of a sudden I realized, this is what it means when Jesus says, “If you abide in me and my words abide in you, you can ask what you desire and it will be done for you” (John 15:7). He truly, honestly wants His words to actually live in us so they roll off our tongues in prayer and in encouragement to others. He wants us to become so immersed in His Word that His words automatically come to our minds when we are worried or in fear. He wants us to read His Word over and over until His words are pressed into our soul and minds.

I remember at various times in the past hearing someone praying whose petitions were punctuated with words from scripture. Their prayers were powerful and I could feel the Spirit of God as they prayed. So as I pondered this new truth God was revealing to me, I realized one of the reasons these people’s prayers were so powerful is that they have the Word of God living within them. They have become so familiar with God’s Word that the Spirit enables them to call it up when they need it.

In addition, over the years, prayer warriors I’ve known have impressed upon me the power of praying scripture back to God. I have even written about this because I’ve experienced the truth of it. Finding a scripture that pertains to our need and praying it back to God adds a powerful dimension to our prayers. Prayers are more powerful when we repeat God’s Word back to Him.

So the question becomes, how does this happen? How do we get to the place where God’s Word is “abiding” in us so we can recall it when we need it?

Some people recommend scripture memory. Memorizing basic passages like Psalm 23, John 3:16 and 1 Corinthians 10:13 can deposit important truths into our spiritual bank account so they are readily available when needed. For me, however, whenever I attempted to memorize Bible verses or passages out of context, I felt like a dismal failure. While I might remember the first couple of verses, the endeavor seemed a bit too cerebral for me to put my heart into it

Now I think – was memorizing scripture the answer or is there more?

While memorizing scripture is a valuable spiritual exercise and plants life-giving truths into our minds for later reference, I believe there’s an even deeper dimension to this. When we regularly read the Bible for ourselves on a daily basis, soaking up God’s truth, we will gradually absorb God’s Word into our hearts and minds so that it lives within us. We can underline favorite verses or passages that stand out to us so we can go back later and be reminded of truths God has previously highlighted for us in the context of His larger message. Gradually, His words weave themselves into our thinking.

It’s a matter of just spending time with God each day—in prayer and in His Word, calling on Jesus to open our minds and hearts to enjoy a deeper experience with Him. Not only will our understanding of God’s ways become more meaningful, but our prayers will become more powerful. Then we will understand what it means when He says to us, “If you abide in me and my words abide in you, you can ask what you desire and it will be done for you” (John 15:7).

If you’re in the midst of heartache because of marital troubles, I’d like to share with you my own discoveries of how God can use this time to take you deeper into Him. You will find this and more in my book, Broken Heart on Hold, Surviving Separation.

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When Your Mind is Muddled

woman working in the garden“HE MAKES ME LIE DOWN in green pastures; He leads me beside the still waters, He restores my soul” (Psalm 23:2-3).

A few days ago, my day seemed to hit one crash after another. First, I received a rejection from an editor I had really wanted to work with. Next, I found a minor medical problem wasn’t so minor after all and needed serious attention. Thirdly, I received a discouraging report about another problem that was escalating.

Why does bad news always seem to come in threes?

I felt muddled and scrambled in my mind. Disappointment mixed with questions and genuine concern thrashed around in my head. My emotions felt unsteady and troubled. Even my prayers felt shallow and inconsequential. “Where are you, God?”

Standing at the kitchen sink, I gazed out the window and felt drawn to the peace and quiet of my backyard where fern fluttered in the breeze and the greens of grass and other nearby plants beckoned.

Instinctively, the uneasiness within me led me to my gardening tools, where I picked up a shovel, donned my garden gloves and headed outdoors to work in the yard where I can always count on feeling God’s presence surrounding me in His creation.

The next day, although calmer, intermittent traces of anxiety continued to spike through my emotions.

So I sat at my computer and spent the day writing—an endeavor I love that takes my mind to new levels of God’s grace. By the end of the day I felt better, and thanked God for His continued presence, knowing that through all circumstances, “He is working all things together for good for those who love Him and are called according to His purpose (Romans 8:28).

Through my yard work and my writing, I’d found two of the paths God had provided for me to find His peace.

How and why did this help?

When our minds are muddled and emotions unsettled, where do we go for peace? Ideally, going straight to the Bible and spending time in prayer steadies our hearts and minds and gives us perspective. That’s the best answer. But sometimes we first need to transition into a place of restoration where our hearts are more open to hear God’s voice.

Identifying calming influences in our lives that help us pull together our muddled emotions and become centered again is important for each of us. If we allow our emotions and agitated thoughts to have free reign, they can lead us away from God and into places we don’t want to go. But if we channel them into nurturing avenues God has wired into our DNA, we can enter into a more peaceful place.

Each of us is different. While for me, writing and working in the yard comforts my spirit, for you it might be an artistic endeavor like playing the piano, painting, or sculpting. Or perhaps working with your hands on a project in your workshop or car helps unravel the stress that holds your mind and spirit captive.  Maybe you have an athletic bent so that riding a bike, throwing a few hoops of basketball, or working out in the gym calms you.

One of the ways God gives us peace is through the gifts He gives us in our own DNA – gifts that mobilize us and inspire us to action. When we recognize positive activities that nurture our spirits and bring us peace, God can draw us to a place of rest where we are better able to hear His voice.

What is it for you that calms your spirit? What do you feel drawn to when your mind is muddled that lies within God’s boundaries of morality and goodness? What activities help you expel the tension that binds up your joy? If you don’t know, start by taking a walk in a park or an area rich with natural beauty. While we have diverse interests that calm us, God’s creation is a universal conduit He uses to bring healing to our spirits. So if we’re unsure of the gifts God has given us to bring peace, we can always start with nature.

God has created each of us to have diverse interests and talents. Discovering what they are can serve us well as we navigate a troubled world and the unpredictable ups and downs of life. As you submit to God’s nurturing hand in these activities, let them lead you back to Him. For it is in Him you’ll find the “peace that passes understanding” (Philippians 4:7). And it is through Him that “goodness and mercy will follow [you] all the days of [your] life (Psalm 23: 6).

What is your happy place?

What is an activity that calms you when your mind feels muddled?

If you need to find peace in the middle of a troubled marriage, I invite you to let me walk beside you through my book, Broken Heart on Hold, Surviving Separation. It can be an encouraging friend to you as you walk this lonely journey.

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5 Promises to Help Us Hold onto Hope

Guest Post by Grace Fox

To say the past year has been challenging is an understatement. The pandemic grounded me and my husband—the director of a mission sending agency—from our usual international ministry travels. It canceled all my speaking engagements when large gatherings were banned. It stole time with our children and grandchildren, complicated everything surrounding my mother’s illness and passing, and tested my ability to live happily with my husband of 39 years while confined to living in a sailboat’s limited space fulltime.

COVID-19 and its variants are robbing us of loved ones, jobs, homes and material possessions, health, and dreams. It has even targeted our hope—the one thing we cannot afford to lose, according to John Maxwell. We can recover from other losses, he says, but “when a man loses hope, there’s nothing to do but bury him.”

One dictionary defines hope as “a feeling of expectation and desire for a certain thing to happen.” But, for believers, hope runs deeper than an optimistic outlook or wishful thinking. The Holman Bible Dictionary says hope is “trustful expectation, particularly with reference to the fulfillment of God’s promises. Biblical hope is the anticipation of a favorable outcome under God’s guidance.”

So, how can we hang onto hope as we face ongoing challenges and a host of unknowns? I believe the key lies in placing our expectations not in circumstances but in God and His promises. Here are five biblical promises that have buoyed me through the storm.

  • God is with us.

Isolation and loneliness are significant issues. Lack of in-person connection with people outside our home leads to feeling forgotten. That, combined with the challenge of  connecting heart-to-heart with a spouse who handles stress differently than oneself leads to despair.

Some individuals and couples express feeling abandoned by God. Their losses are so painful and their fear of the unknown so all-encompassing that they’ve lost their grip on God’s promised presence. “I am with you always, to the end of the age,” Jesus told His disciples (Matthew 28:20). His promise stands true for us today. We hold onto hope because the truth is this: we are not alone even when we feel alone.

  • God is still sovereign.

God didn’t wake up one morning in 2020, watch the world news, and gasp. He knew the pandemic was Cover for book, Finding Hope in Crisiscoming and how it would affect the world. He knew how it would expose our weaknesses and reveal our strengths. He knew how it would test family and marriage relationships.

Circumstances are not out of control. God has plans we cannot understand, and He will accomplish His purposes. “I am God, and there is none like me. Only I can tell you the future before it even happens. Everything I plan will come to pass, for I do whatever I wish” (Isaiah 46:9-10). We have hope because God is still God and He is still in control.

  • God the Holy Spirit prays for us.

Sometimes our circumstances seem so dark and difficult that prayerful words escape us. That’s when we need promises like Romans 8:26-27— “And the Holy Spirit helps us in our weakness. For example, we don’t know what God wants us to pray for. But the Holy Spirit prays for us with groanings that cannot be expressed in words. And the Father who knows all hearts knows what the Spirit is saying, for the Spirit pleads for us believers in harmony with God’s own will.” Hope comes when we rest in the truth that the Spirit’s got us covered in prayer even when we can’t express what’s in our heart.

  • God will provide for our needs.

A plaque on the wall above my writing desk begins with text from Psalm 23: “The Lord is my Shepherd. I lack nothing.” A shepherd’s primary focus is his flock’s well-being, so he’s diligent to make sure his sheep have everything they need to flourish.

Psalm 23:1 assures us that our Shepherd has equipped us to survive this wild ride. Do you need wisdom for navigating the journey in harmony with your spouse? Ask in faith believing He’ll give it in unlimited measure (James 1:5-6). Peace? It’s yours when you give Him your concerns and thank Him for all He has done (Philippians 4:6-7). Strength? It’s yours when you make Him your focus (Isaiah 40:28-31).

  • God will wipe away our tears.

This, too, shall pass. Someday, somehow, God will bring about a good outcome. No matter what the future holds, He will eventually make everything right. “He will wipe every tear from their eyes, and there will be no more death or sorrow or crying or pain. All these things are gone forever” (Revelation 21:4).

Chuck Swindoll writes, “God keeps His promises. It’s a major part of His immutable nature. He doesn’t hold out hope with nice-sounding words, then renege on what He said He would do. God is neither fickle nor moody. And He never lies. As my own father used to say of people with integrity, ‘His word is His bond.’”

God holds out hope to us through His promises, and we hold onto hope by clinging to those promises.

Photo of Grace Fox

Grace Fox lives in Richmond, BC. She’s a popular speaker at women’s events, a member of the First 5 writing team (P31 Ministries), and the co-director of International Messengers Canada. Her new devotional, Finding Hope in Crisis: Devotions for Calm in Chaos, is available wherever Christian books are sold. www.gracefox.com

 

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The Challenge of Letting Go

Photo by Zac Durant

RESTORING A BROKEN MARRIAGE RELATIONSHIP encompasses a number of steps and heart changes along the way. But as I’ve walked beside people over the years, the most important one that takes place in an individual’s heart prior to the marriage actually being restored is when the one fighting for the marriage is able to truly let go and give it to God.

It’s hard to do though, and it’s not easy to understand.

I talk about it a lot, and as I think about it today, I remember a conversation I had years ago at a get-together with some women who were struggling through marital separation. One of the women whose marriage had already made tremendous progress toward healing, began talking about the importance of “letting go.”

The young woman beside me knit her brow with a perplexed expression and frowned. “I get right to the point of being able to let go,” she said, pinching her fingers together as though about to drop something, “and then . . . I just can’t do it.”

The woman next to her nodded. “That’s right. Me too. That’s how I am.”

An Image from The Lord of the Rings

My husband Marv and I had recently watched all three DVD’s of The Lord of the Rings movie, and as my friend spoke, my mind immediately conjured up the image of Frodo standing on the cliff at the end of the movie. He holds his hand over the edge of the precipice with the ring dangling at the end of the chain. Beneath, is the raging fire which has been his destination all through the movie. It is the one place where he can release the ring, see it destroyed, and with it destroy the evil that is taking over Middle Earth. All he has to do is release the ring and freedom can reign once again.

“That reminds me of the ending of The Lord of the Rings,” I said. “All through the movie Frodo has been besieged by the evil that the ring has brought to Middle Earth. He has witnessed again and again the destructive power of the ring and how it corrupts those who lust over it.  He’s seen the damage, the death, the devastation that it causes. And with amazing strength of character, he has persevered through all of that. He’s survived the struggle, the hardship, the temptation. He’s been willing to traverse the darkest lands and oppressive terrains and he’s endured the threats of horrendous creatures in order to get to the mountain where he can destroy the evil.  But when he gets to the very end, when he’s finally there, he stands at the edge of the cliff, dangling the ring at the end of the chain. He stares at it, but can’t let go.

Sam yells to him, “Let it GO! Just let GO!”

But he can’t.

The seductive power of the ring has taken hold.”

The Trouble with Surrendering and Letting Go

As we continued to talk that evening about the challenge of letting go, I shared with my friends how The Lord of the Rings presents a perfect visual image of the struggle we have with surrendering everything to God.

Like Frodo, we don’t want to lose control. The ring of power holds us captive. Even though it means our fleshly nature will reign instead of God’s will, we can’t put it all in God’s hands. The desire to be in control holds sway over us—especially when we’re afraid that if we let go, God might not do what we want Him to do.

How many times have I seen or heard from a woman or man whose greatest desire is to reunite with their spouse? They’ve gone through the anguish, they’ve suffered hardship to get things to change. But they are unable to surrender to God to let Him take care of it. We want to do it by ourselves, even though our own methods have already failed. We somehow think if we think about it enough, talk about it enough, remind our spouse enough times, things will somehow change. We’re locked in a pattern where we keep repeating the same actions. We’re traveling in circles, or worse, we’re pushing our spouse further away. We’re afraid if we put it in God’s hands, He’ll do something we won’t like. The fear of losing control, the desire to do it our own way keeps us in bondage. We can’t let go.

But God, who created us, who created our world, who is omnipotent and sees everything . . . understands what is happening; He has answers we don’t have. He knows our spouse inside and out, just like he also knows us. He can “work all things together for good to those who love Him and are called according to His purpose*” if we can surrender it all to Him and let go of having to control it ourselves.

First, however, we have to summon the inner strength to follow through so we can let go and trust Him. He is the Good that will banish evil. He is the Light that will shine in the darkness. He is the Word of God who will enlighten our understanding and point us in the right direction.

So as we stand on that precipice, holding that ring of power, we have to have the will, the faith, the strength to let it go.

Proverbs 3:5-6 tells us to, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.”

Seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness and all these things will be added unto you (Mathew 6:33).

*(Rom. 8:28)

If your marriage is in trouble and you need to know how to fight for it, letting go is an important part of experiencing the victory. My books, Broken Heart on Hold and Fighting for Your Marriage while Separated can show you the path through the labyrinth of confusion so you can find the hope God has for you.

Nest week: Perhaps the hardest issue of all–infidelity.

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Shining Like Silver and Gold

Inspiring Others in The Midst of Covid

The pressure of crisis –whatever the cause—can be overwhelming. Whether it’s from Covid, a marriage crisis, or the devastation of our finances, crisis can push us beyond the limits of our understanding until we have nothing else within us to keep on going.

At this point, when we are devoid of strength in ourselves, instead of sinking lower and lower into hopelessness, depression, or substance abuse, God calls us to look up and sink into the arms of Jesus.

In the arms of Jesus, not only does He comfort us with his peace, but He gathers together the substance of our life and molds it into something new and beautiful. The pressure of crisis, when God becomes our refuge and we allow Him to show us the way, refines us into silver and gold so we can shine for His glory. We become the beautiful instruments of His grace, mercy, and love to those around us.

1 Peter 1:6b -7 reminds us of this. “Though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that the proven genuineness of your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed (1 Peter 1:7 NIV).

An Inspiring Story from the Covid Ward

Recently, I’ve witnessed a person who is shining like gold as she looks past the crisis enveloping her life and fixes her eyes on Jesus, not just to save herself, not just to find peace and comfort, but to use the circumstances of her crisis to shine like gold.

I’m talking about my friend and author, Elaine W. Miller, who right now lies in a Covid ward in the hospital, fighting to breathe. She is fighting for her life, but also blessing everyone who comes in contact with her words.

Her own words on Facebook tell the story.

“Covid pneumonia,” She said in her first post. “We’re off on another adventure. Me and Jesus! He holds me tight and won’t let go.”

A couple of days later:

“Nurse took the stethoscope and said, “Let’s hear what’s happening in your heart.” I said, “Jesus is happening in my heart! Hallelujah!” Started Remdesivir today! Yay! Happy Sunday!”

A message to her praying Facebook friends:

“Blessed in isolation. I can sing out and cry out to God late at night and not disturb anyone. I think of Jesus at Gethsemane crying out, Why have you forsaken me God? I feel loved by God, not forsaken. Jesus was sad that his best friends were asleep and not praying. I don’t feel like Jesus. You have covered me with a mighty army of prayers by day and by night. I am so thankful for you. I am having good sleep, good time with God, and I have no pain. #Thankfulforyou #CovidBootcamp Dr. is optimistic that I will survive this.”

A nurse’s perspective as Elaine began to get her breath:

“’When you came to ICU you couldn’t say 2 words without losing your breath. Today I walk in your room and you are singing!’ – my nurse.”

The beauty of gold:

“Covid has restored my hope in America. My doctors are putting out the big guns. I am on an infusion marathon to fight Covid. Last night that bag and more dripped into my veins. I stared at it all night and couldn’t stop crying. You see that bag is some amazing person’s convalescent plasma. They survived Covid and gave their plasma, time, money, love so some old woman they don’t even know could have a few more years to live. That’s my America! Where people die to their selfishness so others can live. Where people think of others more than they think of themselves. That’s my America! I am so sick of the protests, looting, destroying, anger, hate, selfishness, lies. Someone gave their blood so I might have a chance to live. Just like Jesus. I am so grateful for these dear health workers here who risk their lives so people can live. I am blessed and glad God gave me hope for America in a Covid hospital.”

Finally, in the midst of her crisis with Covid, my friend Elaine looks beyond her circumstances to focus on others:

“Day 17 isolation. Why am I here? Ha! For the same reason you are there. To glorify God. To bring light and hope to a dark and hopeless world. When cancer came to me five years ago, I determined to see my cancer as an opportunity to bless people and not as an obstacle or reason for complaint. So, as I rest on my Covid bed, I am overwhelmed with love and prayers and compassion for Caregivers. My eyes are opened to their true suffering. Folks, you have no idea the exhaustion, the tears, the sacrifice, the dance with death they do daily. They risk their lives so I can live. So, when some call Covid a hoax or complain about wearing a face mask, I know a lot of people who are crushed by your words. But they plow on. Keep quiet. Serve. I determined to pray a blessing on every person who enters my Covid room. What a blessing to me. Not one person has stopped me. I pray as some leave. Everyone has stopped to hear my prayers. They all say thank you. Many in tears. Some come back to me, hold me, touch me (not recommended in Covidland) and pray with me. We cry and we trust Jesus. “But I have raised you up for this very purpose, that I might show you My power and that My Name might be proclaimed in all the earth.” Exodus 9:16.”

An Inspiration for You and Me

So, yes, when the pressure of crisis threatens to pull us down, we can choose the abundant life Jesus wants to give us or the barren wasteland without Him. When we submit ourselves to Jesus, He can use us to shine forth like the preciousness of silver and gold.

Please join me in praying for Elaine’s healing and for all of us to be able to shine for Jesus.

Check out Elaine’s books on Amazon. Elaine W. Miller is the author of three books:

We All Married Idiots: Three things You Will Never Change about Your Marriage and Ten Things You Can,  

Praise the Lord and Pass the Chemo: A Hopeful Response to a Hard Reality, and

Splashes of Serenity: Bathtime Reflections for Drained Moms

 

Elaine and me at a writer’s conference

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Surviving Sorrow: A Mother’s Guide to Living with Loss: An Interview with Author Kim Erickson

Losing a child may be one of the most intensely painful experiences a person can endure. No one should have to bury their own child. Sadly, for those parents who do experience this, the sorrow can last for many years. In her book, Surviving Sorrow: A Mother’s Guide to Living with Loss, author Kim Erickson gives parents a lifeline to hope as she shares her own story of the loss of her three-year-old son and the path to surviving the sorrow of a lifetime and learning to live again.

Linda: Please tell us why you wrote Surviving Sorrow.

Kim: In April 2008, I was just cruising through my life, thinking that I had everything I needed. I had a great job, a husband I was crazy about, and two beautiful young boys. Austin was 3 and Ethan was 15 months. I did not, however, have everything I needed.

I did not have God in my life. I did not have a relationship with Jesus. When I got the call that the ambulance was at our house for Austin, who had been sick for a few days with strep throat, I didn’t even think to pray. I got the call that is every parent’s nightmare and my mind didn’t even consider God – that’s how far away from God I was back in April 2008.

While I was far from God in my mind and heart, God was not far from me. He did something miraculous that day. No, He didn’t heal Austin. He took Austin to heaven, but God did allow me a moment to truly feel His presence, to fully understand that He is real, and know that Heaven is waiting. In that single moment as Austin left this earth for heaven, God changed me. He grabbed my heart and filled it with peace, hope, love, and joy. I hung my humbled head and accepted Christ as my Lord and Savior just two days later.

Surviving Sorrow is my offer of sacrifice to God for His never-ending lovingkindness for us, for the world. It is my deepest desire to help others experience God in the middle of their deepest sorrow, like I did. I’m praying Surviving Sorrow helps them draw close to God in their darkest hour.  

Linda: Who would benefit from this book?

Kim: Although I wrote this book for mothers who’ve lost a child, I’m finding out that others are benefiting from Surviving Sorrow. Many times, friends are picking up this book to help them understand how to help someone who has lost a child. They are reading it first, then giving it to a mom who has lost a child. Also, people with other losses (like husbands, nieces, cousins, friends, etc.) have been telling me that Surviving Sorrow helped them draw closer to God through a difficult loss of someone they loved. It’s really humbling to see God use this book in so many different ways.

Linda: There are lots of books about grief and the grieving process. How is Surviving Sorrow different?

Kim: There are a lot of fantastic books about grief and grieving the loss of a child, and I have read many of them. I like to say that Surviving Sorrow is not a book about grieving. It’s a book about living. The focus is not on the grieving process, but rather on how to pick yourself up off the floor and try your best to carry on with life. When our son died, I needed some help with the practical aspects of living without our son. What do I say when a stranger asks how many kids I have? How do I get through the grocery store without a meltdown? What do I do with my child’s things? How will I make it through the holidays? Help!

So, each chapter deals with an issue that comes up while you live with your loss. There are practical ideas listed for each segment. There are “Survival Steps” (how do I keep living?) and “Spiritual Steps” (how do I relate to God now?) for each chapter.

Linda: We’ve heard that it is difficult for a marriage to survive the loss of a child – even that most marriages don’t make it through such a tragedy. Is that true?

Kim: I’m so glad you asked this question! It’s NOT true. In fact, the divorce rate among couples who’ve suffered the loss of a child is lower than the national average. People think it (and often say it out loud!), but it’s simply not true. That being said, it’s definitely not easy on your marriage to go through something like child loss. Like a lot of things you encounter as a couple, the stress of grieving can cause interactions with your spouse to be magnified in some way. What didn’t bother you before, might bother you now and vice versa. Emotions are running on high, so marriages can be strained. But, there is no need to give in to a hopeless feeling. Now is the time to fight for your marriage!

Linda: What do you think is the most important thing for couples to keep in mind as they navigate their marriage through a tragedy or difficult season?

Kim: Treat each other gently. I think it’s really important to remember that you both are experiencing this difficult thing. No matter if the difficulty relates more to one of you than the other. As a married couple, if something is tragic in one of your lives, both of you are experiencing it. If the tough circumstance involves your child or children, then it’s double the trouble because you both are so close to the problem and you likely can’t see straight. You must step back from yourself and remember that your spouse is hurting, too. It bears repeating: treat each other gently.

Linda: What advice do you have for readers who may not be suffering through child loss, but are facing a different kind of tragedy within their family?

Kim: Try to give each other space. Space to let out emotions. Space to just “be.” Be compassionate about how the other people in your family need to process this difficult season. We all handle things differently, and we need to be able to respect that about our loved ones. Allow your spouse or your loved ones the time to do some individual processing. You’ll be surprised to see how much better you will all do together if you each get some time to express yourself in whatever way is best for each person.

Linda: The tagline for Heart Talk is “Finding Hope in Unexpected Places.” Have you and your husband been able to find hope in the unexpected place of grieving a child?

Kim: Believe it or not, yes! The only way, however, is with God’s help. It’s still overwhelming to me how much the Almighty God is willing to hold, sit next to, take a temper tantrum, or wipe my tears. If you lean into Him, He will wrap you in His arms and comfort you. My hope in the unexpected place of grieving a child is in an eternity that has no more death, no more pain, no more tears.

Linda: Your ministry focus is helping women find outrageous joy through a deeper relationship with God. Can you explain what that means to you?

Kim: I spent most of my life rejecting the idea that Jesus Christ was my Savior and Lord. I had a good life by the world’s standards, but I didn’t have the inner peace and amazing joy I have now. A relationship with Jesus is the answer to whatever you are seeking. The result of a relationship with Jesus is outrageous joy, no matter what happens in your life.

Linda: How can people find your book and connect with you?

Kim: I’d love to connect on Facebook (Kim Erickson, Author) or Instagram (@kimerickson8). They can find more information and free resources on my website: www.kimAerickson.com. Surviving Sorrow can be found on Amazon or Barnes & Noble or Moody Publishers. I look forward to meeting some of your readers!

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