My Husband’s Final Journey Home

January 24, 2024 by 5 Comments

sailboat on a journey far off at seaIT’S STRANGE HOW the journey of life moves us through various circumstances so that a story might impact us one way at one point in our life and as we turn a corner, it suddenly meets us once again to impact us in an entirely different way.

When I wrote Broken Heart on Hold, I tell the story of walking on the beach and envisioning what it would be like to take that walk into eternity at the end of my life, the sun streaming down upon me, the light guiding me home to be with Jesus. In Broken Heart on Hold, it was about how that walk would be  my own; no one would go with me, but the decisions I made in the pain of my circumstances could impact my eternal future. Would I walk toward Jesus or away from Him? Would I let bitterness engulf me or allow God to carve out a space in my heart for Him to dwell?

Today, I think of that story again because my husband has now made that final journey. He went to be with the Lord on December 13. It was his own walk into eternity. And no matter what had happened between us, how close we were or weren’t, he went alone. It was between him and God. It was heart-wrenching for me, but for him I imagine it was glorious.

I think back to that time when he and I were separated, when life was in chaos, when the decisions each of us made not only affected the relationship between us, but also the relationship each of us had with God. It was a painful time, but I thank God that the steps each of us made enabled us to emerge from those circumstances, tasting a victory that drew us closer to God and each other.

Now he is home with Jesus. Although we walked together for another 25 years after we restored our marriage, I couldn’t be with him on that final journey. It was his alone. And I try to picture it in my mind. His meeting Jesus. That moment of jubilation when the earthly cares of this world were fading behind and the glory stretched out before him. His last days were hard, but they were permeated with the sweetness of God as I saw his heart swell more and more with an expanding tenderness and love for others. The last words he struggled to say to me before he was no longer able to communicate were, “I love you.”

He fought the good fight. He finished the race. He kept the faith. (2 Timothy 4:7) I will miss him terribly, but I know he is safe in the arms of Jesus and one day I will see him again.

Marvin Rooks passed into the arms of Jesus on December 13, 2023, leaving behind his wife Linda, daughters Julie and Laura and 5 grandchildren. Marv’s optimism, enthusiasm, sense of humor and dedication to family and friends will be greatly missed by the many people who loved him. (You can read his official obituary here:

The story referred to above can be found on Page 136 of my book, Broken Heart on Hold, a book that has encouraged many people during a time of marital upheaval.

To my subscribers: Because of what I’ve written here about my husband’s final journey home, I’m sure you now understand why my blog posts have lately been infrequent. My heart is heavy even as I write this. It’s hard to see the reality in print. As I reflect on this new season of my life, don’t be surprised if future posts contain bits of reflection on how losing a spouse can affect a person’s perspective on marital situations in the past. Thank you for your prayers as I begin this new journey.

My husband on his final journey home

 

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Filed Under: Death, forgiveness, Grief, loss, Marriage problems, Problems, Surrendering to God, Uncategorized Tagged With: , , , , ,

Will the Real Person Please Stand Up? – Rising Above the Fear of Rejection – Interview with Author Gail Porter

July 18, 2023 by Leave a Comment

A woman standing straight and tall on top of a mountainBECAUSE THE PAIN and insecurities we experience in life often affect us in ways beyond our immediate understanding, many of us develop a fear of rejection that can hold us captive and keep us from enjoying meaningful relationships. In her book, Will the Real Person Please Stand Up? – Rising Above the Fear of Rejection Gail Porter openly addresses the issue of rejection by sharing her own story of escaping the shackles of the fear of rejection to embrace the freedom and joy of becoming the woman God created her to be.

Linda:  You had nice parents. They provided for you. They didn’t scream at you. They weren’t abusive physically, verbally, or sexually. But you still grew up with the fear of rejection. Can you tell us what was missing in your home and why this made you fear rejection?

Gail: Looking back on my childhood, I realize that neither of my parents knew how to create a loving emotional connection with my brother and me. It’s not that they didn’t love us; they didn’t know how to show love because neither of them had parents who expressed their emotions or their love to them.

I don’t remember their hugs or kisses while I was growing up. I can’t recall ever hearing, “I love you.” I would have cherished a hug when I bounded into the kitchen each morning. Or a kiss when I left for school. If I could have seen their smile or look of delight when I talked to them, I would have felt they treasured me as their child.

They could have created a sense of togetherness by asking my brother and me questions while we sat around the dinner table in the evenings. Typical questions, like “What did you learn at school today?” “What was one fun thing that happened today?” “Do you need any help with your schoolwork?” Those kinds of questions would have made us feel like they were interested in listening to us. I wish we could have laughed together, which would have helped bond us as a family.

In my adult life, I realized my mother and father didn’t know how to express their emotions to each other. I never learned to express my emotions either. I didn’t feel free to tell them when I was hurt, or disappointed, or afraid. I simply chose to become a well-behaved daughter, who didn’t make a fuss and had few demands. I didn’t identify this in my growing up years, but now I see I tried to be the person I thought they wanted me to be so they would love me and never reject me as their daughter.

Linda: How can the fear of rejection affect future relationships?

Gail: When you allow a fear of rejection to rule your life, you subconsciously hold back from expressing your thoughts and emotions. You stay aloof, even in adult relationships, because you don’t want people to know the real you.

I enjoyed meaningful relationships in college and during my career, and I loved those people as much as I could. However, now I see I didn’t emotionally engage with them. I couldn’t relax and simply be the person God created me to be. I was too concerned they might not accept what I said and did.

Linda: In your book, Will the Real Person Please Stand Up? you talk about fear of rejection causing you to build emotional walls of protection around yourself. Can this kind of behavior also affect your relationship with God? If so, can you tell us more about this?

Gail: Yes, it can, and I discovered that in a very unusual way. While attending a conference, the speaker talked about the invisible walls wePicture of author Gail Porter build to protect ourselves from possible rejection. For the first time, I realized that I purposely refrained from sharing much about myself, or my thoughts and ideas, because I feared people wouldn’t like me.

After that session, I went to my hotel room, I began talking with God about my inability to fully engage with people. During that time, I sensed God saying to me, “Gail, you have built walls to protect yourself from people, but you have also built a wall that keeps you at a distance from me.”

His words devastated me because I loved Him so much; yet, those words helped me realize the truth. I cried as I confessed my sin of not being open and honest with Him. From then on, our relationship grew deeper and more genuine. Our personal times together each morning became the highlight of my day.

Linda: Do you think some of us have a fear of rejection and don’t even know it?

Gail: I am solid proof that this is true. I had no idea that my home life was causing a fear of rejection to form inside of me. It took years for me to recognize that fear of rejection had motivated my responses and reactions to people and situations, and prevented me from saying yes to any new opportunities that I thought might lead to failure.

Linda: How does the fear of rejection cause us to live in “captivity,” as you call it?

Gail: I like the term “captivity.” We convince ourselves that by hiding who we are, we are safe from the rejections of others. In reality, we isolate ourselves and live a life of deception.

We don’t want to risk saying what we’re thinking, sometimes even to our best friends.  Fear hampers our relaxed and free interaction because we’re concerned that what we say may not be acceptable. For me, staying in my emotional hiding place made me feel safe from rejection, but that decision caused me to miss many wonderful opportunities that would have expanded my life and built my confidence.

Linda: How can a person release the fear of rejection and find freedom?

Gail: First of all, they need to be willing to let go of the emotional defenses they’ve built.

In my book, Will the Real Person Please Stand Up? I list the common ones:

  • Seeking love and acceptance
  • Building a wall
  • Wearing an invisible mask
  • Creating a persona
  • Striving for perfection

It’s difficult to release our defenses, because we’ve always relied on them. But we need to recognize our isolation is something that has prevented us from spending time with people who could have encouraged us and given us strength to live our lives as our authentic selves.

My decision to come out of my hiding place came when I finally admitted I no longer wanted to exist as the person I thought everyone else wanted me to be. In my heart, I longed to be the real person God created me to be.

We all need to remember that the enemy wants to keep us bound to our fear; but God wants to set us free. He will be delighted when we tell him, “I want to exchange my life of fear for a life of freedom.” He will lead us to the path where we can be free to be our authentic self.

Galatians 5:1 is a wonderful verse to memorize. “It was for freedom that Christ set us free; therefore keep standing firm and do not be subject again to a yoke of slavery.”  

Linda: I know you have a new book that just came out that is a follow up to this one. Could you tell us briefly how it adds to what you’ve written in Will the Real Person Please Stand Up? 

Gail: My new book, Living on the Path of Freedom: Leaving Fear of Rejection Behind, shows readers what life can look like if they choose to release their fear of rejection and walk on the path of freedom. Their new freedom will build gradually as they uncover characteristics of their authentic self. Instead of hiding, they will experience a desire to engage with others and a willingness to show who they are inside. By opening themselves to others and becoming the person God created them to be, they are able to live an authentic life. An important part of this book chronicles the experiences of ten real life people who were able to escape gripping rejection in their past and present lives to find hope, healing, and a life of freedom.  

Linda: Where can people find your book, Will the Real Person Please Stand Up? and learn more about you?

Gail: People can find my book on Amazon at https://gailporterauthor.com/Amazon-rejection-book  I also invite your audience to visit my website at gailporterauthor.com/

 

 

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Filed Under: BOOKS, Fear, Feeling unworthy, friendship, How to win, Interviews, Lonliness, Rejection, Surrendering to God, Uncategorized Tagged With: , , , ,

God Shift – A Divine Move From Disruption To Destiny

June 25, 2023 by Leave a Comment

Book cover for A God ShiftGuest Post By Shayna Rattler

Do you find yourself asking, “what the heck is going on in my life”? Perhaps you are feeling stuck, no longer passionate, or that you’re on the wrong path? Life is full of setbacks, disappointments, and uncertainties. God uses these unexpected circumstances as a means to get your attention and draw you into greater possibility, but most believers are ill-equipped to properly understand or respond appropriately to the disruptions God allows to happen in their life. They also fall into the trap of solely relying on the prayers of others or waiting idly on God for their situation to change, when in fact they have the authority to partner with God to create the life He promises and they desire.

If you are having a tough time overcoming the unexpected circumstances God has thrown your way, you may be in the need of a God shift! A God shift is when a disruption in your life collides with God’s purpose and moves you into new dimensions of possibility. It is a process you go through in order to ultimately get to where God needs you most, and become the person He needs you to be, in order to accomplish what He needs you to do. God is trying to get your attention and invite you into greater possibility. Why? Because another level of destiny awaits you and it’s time to be more, do more, and have more.

So you’re ready to shift, now what?

Here is what it takes to make SHIFT happen…

  1. Release. Perhaps the most difficult part of shifting is letting go. Some of the most common things we need to release are the life we planned, how we planned it, and who and what we planned it to include. Be more open to what God desires.
  1. Become. Your shifting season is going to be more about being than doing. Consider it a process of discovery or an opportunity to reinvent yourself. Focus on amplifying your strengths and shedding your weaknesses.
  1. Move In order to shift successfully, you have to be committed to taking action, even if your steps are laced with uncertainty. It’s time to discover your new possibilities. What are the steps you can take NOW to get you closer to your next? Not sure? Get help so you don’t stay stuck.
  1. Avoid Seeking Clarity and Confirmation. When God instructs you to take a step and you continue to look for more clarity and confirmation it is an indication you are full of doubt. Doubt and destiny are polar opposites so begin to see opportunities as confirmation that God has answered your prayers.
  1. Use Your God-Given Authority. When Jesus died He left you with the exact power He had and left with you the ability to use that power in your day to day life. It’s your job to uncover the authority you have as a believer to manifest your desires into existence just as Christ did. In life, especially when you are faced with obstacles, it is important that you have a deep understanding of your identity. The good news is that if you are a believer in God you have power that can overcome anything. The most powerful tool of authority you have access to is your words! Every word you speak MUST be in alignment with what you are praying for. If you find yourself speaking contrary to what you’re praying for, immediately confess that you do not agree with what you spoke and replace the previous declaration with one that proclaims what you desire. Now that you’ve discovered the foundational rules of shifting I hope you see the disruptions in your life from a different perspective. Something that HAD to happen. Fortunately, it happened for you and not to you. What is important now is to continue to dream and commit to where God is taking you. Your life is an incubator for miracles! Keep trusting and keep going.

 

Shayna Rattler is the author of A God Shift and Founder of A God Shift Movement. She is a minister, speaker, author, podcaster, and TV show host. For more tips to grow your faith, he invites you to download the FREE guide When God Says Shift at www.GodSaysShift.com.

 

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Filed Under: BOOKS, disappointment, Expectations, faith, Letting go, New Directions, Problems, Searching for purpose, Surrendering to God, Trying to understand, Uncategorized, Where is God? Tagged With: , , , , , , ,

The Word We Don’t Want to Think About

April 5, 2023 by Leave a Comment
Man sitting alone on steps of altar

Photo by Ben White

SITTING ON MY SCREEN PORCH, I shut my Bible and gazed out at the spring grass trying to get a fresh start. I sighed and thought back to my harsh response to my husband earlier that day. I shouldn’t have said it the way I did. That wasn’t good. He didn’t mean to forget. I need to be more patient.

I was wrong. But . . . .No one is perfect – Right?

No, I was wrong. I shouldn’t have said that.

A squirrel climbed out on a limb of our camellia bush and jumped onto the bird feeder, causing seeds to drop all over the ground.

I shook my head at him. “You squirrels are causing a mess!”

But no one is perfect, right? Not even squirrels. I laughed. I guess we’re all just part of a fallen world.

Our Fallen World

Yes, since we live in a fallen world, we know we make mistakes. We know we do things wrong. But we also know no one is perfect. If we can just keep it to ourselves and try to do better, it will be okay—Right?

Well, maybe not.

Recently, I was confronted with an unwelcome reality. Through two different Bible studies– one about the Old Testament prophets and one in 1st John in the New Testament, the same message has been ringing loud and clear in my head. When I’m impatient, when I have a bad attitude, when I’m critical, if I have impure thoughts, it’s not just that I’m doing something wrong. It’s SIN. No, I might not be committing murder or robbery; I’m not cussing or lying, but as much as I’d rather shove it under the rug and shrug it off, I have to face it. It’s still SIN.

The prophets certainly didn’t shy away from that word. Over and over, they call Israel to repentance, enumerating their sins and reminding them of God’s mercy if they repent. It’s not enough to have religious rituals and say the right words, they say. God wants repentant hearts. God is merciful, but He’s also a righteous judge. The apostle John says in his epistle, “If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us” (1 John 1: 6).

A Serious Subject

I cringe from the word sin though because when I use THAT word, I have to face the seriousness of my wrong behavior, attitude, or thoughts. I know God hates sin. And if I call it sin, I have to realize God sees it! He knows what I’m doing and thinking!

Even worse, Jesus sees it, and I must face the fact that this is what Jesus DIED for – my sin!

So that’s when I realize I must stop making excuses and take my sin more seriously. I must “take every thought captive” (2 Cor. 10:5).  I must look for the “way of escape” God has provided for me when I’m tempted (1 Cor. 10:13). For He has told me to “be holy because I am holy” (1 Peter 1:16).

And when I do “sin,” as I know I will –when I get impatient, indulge in self pity or worry, lose my temper, tell a half-truth, then I need to “confess my sins to God. I can’t just ignore it and forget about it. What I do in secret is offensive to Him. The God I love is a Holy God and He cannot look upon my sin. My sin separates me from Him. I must bring it out of the darkness into the light. I need to repent, let God forgive me and turn away from it. For “if we confess our sins, He is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness” (1 John 1:9).

The Better Way

For those of us who don’t want to think about the word “sin” and don’t want to grieve God’s holiness, it begins by actually taking sin more seriously.

To begin with, we need to be more mindful of our actions and our words – checking them out through the mirror of God’s Word so we can walk on a straight path toward righteousness. And on a regular basis we must pray that God will “Blot out my transgressions, wash away all my iniquity, cleanse me with hyssop, and make me as white as snow” (Psalm 51:1-2, 7).

Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting” (Psalm 139: 23-24).

 

When our marriage is in crisis and our hearts are breaking, we need to bathe our minds in truth and grace. My book, Broken Heart on Hold, Surviving Separation, will walk with you through this lonely time to give you honest encouragement

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The Hope of TODAY

February 6, 2023 by 6 Comments

img002IN MY UPSTAIRS HALL, family pictures line the wall, photos tracing our genealogies into past decades. I stand looking at a picture of what I believe to be my great-great-great grandmother. I try to recall her name, but must refer to the big family Bible to discover it. In another photograph of my husband’s ancestors, a large family grouping of young and old, stand around the matriarch seated in front.  None are smiling, but on that day they were alive with hopes, disappointments, and ambitions, with the future stretching out ahead of them.

Now their future has become our past, and I look upon their likenesses and wonder what their lives were like.  I wonder if they achieved their dreams.

They lived and breathed from year to year in a world that was palpable and real . . . in an expanse of time that was THEIR time. They probably felt it would go on forever. It was their generation.

But eventually their lives ended and a new generation took its place.

And now it’s our turn.

And it’s our time. But like the generations before us, our lives have a beginning and an end.

Our Turn

When we are in our prime, it seems we will live forever.  There is so much life to live and so much to achieve.  Dreams rise up before us and lure us on, beckoning us to follow into the future. But time marches on and before long, we wake up to find our bodies not functioning as well and realize we are getting older.  Whether or not we managed to surmount our obstacles and attain our dreams, another generation is coming along behind, dreaming new dreams and eager to conquer fresh frontiers.

“All people are like grass,” says Isaiah,
“and all their faithfulness is like the flowers of the field.
The grass withers and the flowers fall,
but the word of our God endures forever.”  (Isaiah 40: 7-8)

In this window of eternity we call our lives, each of our days is a gift from God, each brand new, beginning with a sunrise unlike the one before.  And as we live today to the fullest, not in fleeting pleasures or empty and futile worry, but by submitting our lives to God’s bigger picture, TODAY can become a jewel in our crown.

The Happy and the Difficult

Regardless of whether these are happy or difficult days, each one is a gift that God has given to grow us and enlarge our vision of Who He is. Sometimes we will praise Him in the happy, glorious days of success and fulfillment, and other times we will seek him from the valleys of despair, but whichever place we find ourselves on any particular day, it is part of the journey of our life God gives us for TODAY. And it’s a gift.

I love how Sarah Young expresses God’s heart in Jesus Calling: “Some of My children find Me more readily during dark times, when difficulties force them to depend on Me. Others feel close to Me when their lives are filled with good things. They respond with thanksgiving and praise, thus opening wide the door to My presence. I know precisely what you need to draw nearer to Me. Go through each day looking for what I have prepared for you. Accept every event as My hand-tailored provision for your needs.”

And therein lies our hope. Our challenge is to seek God each and every day as a Gift from Him and let Him use our time on earth to the utmost of our highest calling.

Perhaps one day in the future a great, great grandchild will find my picture in a photo album or on the wall and not recall my name. But even though our names may eventually be forgotten on this earth, our hope transcends this world of withering grass.  For on some future day when rainbow colors streak across the sky and God’s music fills our soul, we as God’s children will find our names remembered and recorded in a living book, the Lamb’s book of life. At that time we will be taken to an eternal place of beauty where our deeds become lyrics for a song. Then we will join with all those other generations to celebrate God’s bigger story, the story we can choose to be a part of TODAY as we make choices now to live the part He created us to play.

And one day“the glory of the Lord will be revealed, and all people will see it together. For the mouth of the Lord has spoken.”  (Isaiah 40:5)

If your hope for today is diminished because of heartache in your marriage, let God speak hope and encouragement to you through my book, Broken Heart on Hold. It’s a book to heal the brokenhearted.

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Filed Under: Goals and Resolutions, God's Word, Hope, How to win, New Directions, Surrendering to God, Uncategorized Tagged With: , , , ,

Surprised by Christmas

December 21, 2022 by Leave a Comment

Brght starTHE FIRST TIME I saw the Eiffel Tower, my friend and I had been traveling through Europe for six weeks and had ended our trip with an all-nighter on the train to Paris from the coast of Spain. Weary, dirty, and bedraggled, we lugged our suitcases into the Metro and onto a crowded train, heading in the direction of our hotel. Hanging onto the ropes and leaning against a post for support, we stared out the window as the train sped through the dark underground, stopping intermittently at stations along the way.

Suddenly the car burst from the darkness of the tunnel into the bright sunshine of morning, and there, towering above us was the Eiffel Tower in all her majesty. I gaped in wonder and awe at the beauty of this amazing landmark I’d seen replicated in pictures throughout my life. It was glorious! My weariness evaporated as I gazed for a few brief moments at its magnificence.

The train, in all its hurry, immediately descended into the underground again, and that amazing spectacle disappeared. But the elation that filled my soul restored my energy and enthusiasm. Years later, I can still picture that glorious scene before me.

Of course we went back later to see it again, and it was thrilling. But we didn’t experience the same elation as we did at that first glimpse when the Eiffel tower leapt from the dark underground into the sunlight in all its glory—an exquisite surprise breaking upon the darkness of our tired souls.

That day I learned something about darkness, light, and beauty. I learned that sometimes BECAUSE of the darkness, the light becomes more radiant, and beauty surprises us with its splendor.

Christmas came that way. The first Christmas over 2000 years ago broke through the darkness of sin and instability as the light of the world came to earth and transformed a stable into the birthplace of a king.

Four hundred years earlier, Isaiah had prophesied: “The people walking in darkness have seen a great light; on those living in the land of deep darkness a light has dawned.” (Isaiah 9:2)

On that first Christmas the darkness of God’s silence, which had lingered over the earth for 400 years, suddenly dispersed: Emmanuel brought His light into the world—Emmanuel, meaning God is with us.

The Drama of Christmas

The drama unfolds at Christmas with the darkness dispersing because the mighty One who Himself spoke light into existence was coming to us in the form of a small, innocent child. Emmanuel had come!

Emmanuel—

God with us,

the light of the world.

The angels who had worshiped the son of God in heaven and known his splendor and power, witnessed his coming to earth as a wee child—a baby. Imagine what a stunning sight that was! No wonder the angels could not suppress their singing and praised God that He would love these humans so much that He would strip away his majesty and come to earth Himself in the form of an infant.

The shepherds in the fields at night were stunned by the Heavenly light and the angels singing. Out of the doldrums of sleep and boredom the shepherds arose in wonder to seek the king who was born.

Light shone in the darkness and the people wandering without God in the futility of their minds, in the darkness of doubt and fear, suddenly had light to see. God’s wondrous light had come into the world

When we’re looking at the tinsel, colored lights and Christmas trees, we may miss the true drama that happened on Christmas day. But when we brush all that aside, and peer through the darkness of our own frailty, we see the glory and wonder of the mighty God who created the universe, nestled in the wee form of a baby. The powerful God who spoke words that brought forth the waters, the land, and all living things allowed Himself to become restrained into the confines of the small mortal body of a tiny infant. All of his majesty, authority, supremacy, and power contained in something so small and vulnerable.

And for what reason? How does the Bible describe it?

“Unto US a child is born, unto US . . . . (Isaiah 9:6)

He came to us.

He came for us.

He came because He was willing to do whatever was necessary to save us . . .

. . . Including leaving all his glory behind and taking the humble form of a tiny child who had to rely on others to take care of his most basic needs.

. . . Including the prospect of dying on a cross in pain and disgrace.

Emmanuel was in that manger. God WITH us! The mighty God, author of creation, who controlled the powers of nature, who holds all things together. Who was in the very beginning as the Word . . .

He was in the beginning and yet he came to earth to live in the body of a baby. Emmanuel. God with us.

In the body of that baby, God was saying, I am the mighty God, but I love you. I love you so much I don’t want you to perish. I want you to have eternal life, and so I am coming to you. I am giving my only son to you. I will die for you. I am your Emmanuel.

Amazed, Marveled, Astonished

Throughout scripture, the words amazed, marveled, astonished, and wonder are used to describe how people reacted to Jesus. Why?

Because of His mighty power, because he had authority over all things, because of his healing power, because he could walk on the water and turn water into wine.

Pastor Tom Myers of Neighborhood Alliance Church expressed it quite beautifully: “When words rolled off Jesus’ tongue, He could reorder reality.” Jesus could take five loaves of bread and two fish, lift them up to heaven, speak a few words, and amazingly it was enough to feed 5,000 people. He could speak through the thunder and lightning as waves crashed threateningly over a small fishing boat and immediately calm the storm.

But the mighty God who did miraculous signs and showed the wonders of God, also washed the disciple’s feet and humbled himself to take the path of the cross.

As you awaken on Christmas Day, some of you are not arising with a spirit of joy. Christmas day is laced with uncertainty. Difficult life circumstances cloud your soul. Darkness hides the beauty of the day.

But because of that very darkness, you may actually find it easier to peer behind the tinsel of ordinary Christmas trappings and expectations to grasp the true drama of Christmas and let the light of Emmanuel permeate your darkness. Emmanuel has been born into our lives. God is here.

In whatever situation you find yourself, lift the veil of darkness this Christmas and let God’s light shine forth. Come kneel now before the manger. Surrender the darkness to the Christ Child and let Him open your eyes to the wonder of who He is—

Emmanuel—Christ is with us—with you—now.

The almighty God, who created the universe, walked on water, and healed the sick is within your reach. Bathe yourself in His glory. Celebrate the wonder of Christmas.

Emmanuel – God with us—the Light of the world.

It’s not the gifts, the wrapping paper, the Christmas dinner, even the family gathering together. It’s the amazing revelation that the God who created the universe would choose to descend into the flesh that he Himself created so He could walk and talk with us and then die so we could find the path He laid out for us, a path that leads to life everlasting.

That’s how much He loves us.

Open your eyes this year to the wonder of Christmas. When God is with us, light shines in the darkness, and we can see again.

Experience the wonder of Christmas through song by listening to Mark Harris’s beautiful rendition of Mary Did You Know

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Filed Under: Christmas, Doubt, Jesus, Knowing God, Lonliness, Love, Receiving Christ, Surrendering to God, Uncategorized Tagged With: , , , ,

Righteous Relationship Reset, Interview with Author Sherri Downs

January 19, 2022 by Leave a Comment

Book cover of Righteous Relationship ResetCAN YOU “RESET” your marriage, and in effect, start over? Author Sherri Downs believes you can. In her book, Righteous Relationship Reset, she shares personally how God reset her own marriage by meticulously unwrapping the message God gave her when her marriage was in trouble. I recently did an interview with her on her Marriage Matters podcast, where Sherri seeks to provide listeners with hope and help on their marriage journeys. Sherri has a real heart to see marriages strengthened and uses her multi-media talents to do just that.

Linda: Sherri, tell me why you wrote a book about marriage reset?

Sherri: I identify the word reset in the terms of a fresh start. I’ve often heard “we serve a God of a second chances.” So, after experiencing devastation in my marriage, which, I share in my book Righteous Relationship Reset, I began to petition God to reset my marriage as if the devastation had never happened. As God began to restore and reset my marriage, I began to feel the call to share the message of hope, restoration, and a fresh start.

Linda: Why do you think marriages sometimes need to be reset?

Sherri: Unfortunately, we live in a broken world system and there will always be forces both natural and spiritual that will test our humanity. And the fact of the matter is, sometimes we pass, and sometimes we fail. Marriage is a relationship that is designed to be till death do us part. Humans are not perfect. On the contrary, we are flawed, and in marriage we will make mistakes. Those mistakes will need forgiveness and an ability to start afresh and reset. Now a reset doesn’t wipe away consequences, but it does give you a chance to not allow them to hold you back as you choose humility and forgiveness.

Linda: What do you believe was the intent of God for marriage?

Sherri: God created marriage with the intent that man and woman would live in harmony with one another. The newly created beings were to be fruitful, multiply, and replenish the earth. God took the expression of the relationship and created a covenant with Adam and Eve which would mirror the trinity, God the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. The two human beings were pure yet untested.

Linda: What does reconciliation look like in marriage?

Sherri: We are all called to be more like Jesus, and the ministry of Jesus is reconciliation. Forgiveness does not always equal reconciliation. However, reconciliation comes as one follows the leading of Holy Spirit and the display of true repentance. God requires that no one become a doormat to destructive behaviors. True repentance has the attributes of honesty, acknowledgement of offense, remorse over the action, accountability, and actions that display evidence of change.

Linda: In marriage, you’ve said in your book, Righteous Relationship Reset, that unrealistic expectations can rob couples of embracing the beauty of relationship. Can you explain what you mean and how one can change this?

Sherri: Unrealistic expectations are a result of an assumption we should receive something from someone which they do not have the capacity Photo of Sherri Downsto give. The only person that can meet all our needs is God, and we are to live with the understanding that He is our ultimate source. This is not to say that we are never to expect things from our spouse. However, proper communication to verbally express those expectations is key. Then after the expectations are verbalized each can come to an understanding whether they can be met by the other spouse. I believe when we accept each person for who they are while providing grace to grow we may experience a beauty of evolving as a couple.

Linda: That is such an important point. But you stress another point as well. When and how does one place proper boundaries around their marriage?

Sherri: I’ve come to understand that boundaries are needed around everything. The world is an expression of that—streets, oceans, forests, continents, and seas all have boundaries. If boundaries did not exist, we would all live in chaos. Our lives need boundaries as well, finances, relationships, children, and our marriage. I regret not coming to the realization of the importance of enforced boundaries in my early years. Maybe someone told me, but the revelation didn’t become real until I experienced the devastation from not enforcing them around everything. We must intentionally start a marriage thinking about the important things which will make a marriage last.

If you’re already married, you may want to stop and have serious conversations to address areas of chaos. Chances are those are the places where there are no enforced boundaries. If apparent chaos is not present, sit and think about areas where boundaries would be beneficial and put them in place together.

Linda: Where does one start to rebuild a marriage?

Sherri: When a marriage has been torn down, the first place to start to rebuild a marriage is repentance, forgiveness, and commitment to the process of rebuilding. When a marriage is destroyed, it’s like a demolition of a building that took time to construct. When that building is destroyed the only way to rebuild it is by placing the bricks back one at a time. Brick by brick the building is restored.

Linda: Do you believe any marriage can be saved?

Sherri: I believe any marriage can be saved if both parties are willing to do marriage God’s way. The only marriage which cannot be saved is the one who’s hearts have turned cold towards God. When we allow Holy Spirit the opportunity to soften our hearts, He can restore anything. No one goes into a marriage saying, I want to be divorced. There was once an intention to be married for a very long time. Humility is key for both spouses along with allowing Holy Spirit to lead the way to restore the marriage better than it was before. I always say, “God specializes in resurrecting dead things, even a broken, devastated marriage.”

Linda: Any final thoughts?

Sherri: God had a specific intent in mind for marriage. Culture has perverted marriage by inserting doctrines that contradict God’s Word, Will, and Ways. Kingdom citizens are encouraged to view marriage with spiritual lenses. “I heard it said that ‘a perfect marriage is just two imperfect people who refuse to give up on each other,’ and I agree. God desires to bring His will into our marriages, but someone must choose to do marriage God’s way.”

Linda: How can people find more about you and your book, Righteous Relationship Reset?

Sherri: To connect with me or purchase my book, Righteous Relationship Reset, visit www.touchdownsenterprise.com or my Facebook Page at https://www.facebook.com/OfficialSherriDowns Readers can also email me at info@touchdownsenterprise.com

 

 

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On My Knees

December 8, 2021 by Leave a Comment
Man praying on knees at the beach

Photo by Ben White

WHEN WE THINK of someone praying, the iconic picture that typically comes to mind is of a person on their knees, head bowed, with hands clasped before them.

I even used this image in a poignant scene in the novel I am currently writing.

Of course, that is not the posture we necessarily use ourselves when we pray. In fact, I rarely pray on my knees. More often, I pray while sitting or standing—or even lying down in bed.

But I do remember a few times when my heart was so broken over the request I was making, and where the agony of the need so great, that the desire for an answer drove me to my knees in fervent supplication before my Lord.

So recently I started thinking about this. What is the significance of the act of praying on our knees? Why is this image ingrained in our minds? Is it the physical position itself? Or is there a deeper significance?

Certain scriptures particularly come to mind to reinforce this image:

Daniel praying in defiance of the king’s decree:

“Now when Daniel learned that the decree had been published, he went home to his upstairs room where the windows opened toward Jerusalem. Three times a day he got down on his knees and prayed, giving thanks to his God, just as he had done before”  (Daniel 6:10).

And Paul’s earnest prayer for believers:

“For this reason I kneel before the Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth derives its name. I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being,. . .” (Ephesians 3:14-21).

Was it the physical position itself that was important? Or is there a deeper significance?

As I thought back to those times I prayed on my knees, I remember  totally laying my heart before God. It was an emptying out of myself to seek God’s answer. There was no more thinking I could control things myself. There was no more manipulation of God by reminding him of what a good girl I had been.

It was with complete honesty of heart and mind that I fell to my knees before my Savior.

The physical position was not what was important however. I believe it was the attitude of my heart—which drove me to my knees—that God desired from me.

The physical position of praying on our knees points us to the attitude of heart the Lord wants us to have. It’s not our body but our hearts God wants to have bowed before him. It’s the humility we show when we prostrate ourselves before him in complete surrender, putting aside our pride and feelings of entitlement to come before the Lord so He can remake us in His image.

The attitude of heart that takes us to our knees is a sweet offering to God. Sometimes the literal dropping to our knees reflects that attitude within us. But what is most important—whatever our physical posture—is that we come to God in humility, surrender, and faith, believing with all our hearts that His love is sufficient to take us through our hardest times and lead us into His presence. Our Lord sees our heart, and when it is bowed before Him He will lift us up, hear our prayers, and pour out His blessings upon us.

“Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up.” James 4:10

If you want to know how to pray for your marriage when it’s in crisis, you will find much more about this in my new book Fighting for Your Marriage while Separated, and my first book, Broken Heart on Hold, Surviving Separation.

 

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Getting to Know God’s Heart—Interview with Patty Mason

November 8, 2021 by Leave a Comment

Book cover for Gettng to Know God's HeartIN ANY LOVE RELATIONSHIP, getting to know the other person’s heart draws us closer to them and creates a more intimate relationship. The same is true of God. If we know His heart, we will better understand what is important to Him. But how do we get to know God’s heart? In Getting to Know God’s Heart, author Patty Mason has created a beautiful Bible study that presents a seamless picture of God’s love as she weaves her own spiritual pilgrimage into the scriptural story of our heavenly Father’s love for us. Her Bible study invites the reader to personally experience God’s love in a more intimate way. Because of Patty’s warm and transparent style, this encouraging book is a resource I will regularly recommend to those going through troubling times.

Linda: Patty, what prompted you to begin seeking God’s heart?

 Patty: While battling depression, I watched a friend, who had more problems than I could count, go through life with joy. “How did she do it?” I wondered. How could she exhibit joy when she was left to care for her sick mother while her workaholic husband left her to raise four children on her own.

In comparison, my life was grand, yet she had peace and joy. God was her Rock, the one she clung to, and she spoke of Him with passion. God was not my favorite topic of conversation.

I could think of twenty other topics I would rather discuss. So I resisted, even though her enthusiasm for God caught my attention.

Linda: If her enthusiasm caught your attention, why did you hesitate? 

 Patty: Many things can keep us from wanting to know God.  I hesitated because I associated God with church and religion. To me church felt fickle and phony—reserved for the well-mannered, well-respected, and well-dressed. The church was not filled with people who knew how to love well, so I concluded God would treat me the way they did.

It’s sad to me now how we can embrace a false view of God based on how people treat us. God designed earthly relationships to serve as examples and reminders of His love for us, but if we’ve been harmed through human relationship, it can be difficult to receive God’s love.

When we’re going through something very hard, it’s easy to question God’s heart and begin to wonder, “Does God see? Does He even care?”

For thirty-six years, I had no idea how much God loved me and longed to have a relationship with me. I knew facts about God. I believed Jesus died on the cross, but I didn’t understand the depth of His love demonstrated upon that cross.

Linda: What led you to set aside your beliefs and seek God’s heart?

 Patty: Sheer desperation. I wanted the peace and joy my friend had, but until I became desperate, I wasn’t willing to pursue it. I needed healing. All the screaming, crying, and fits of rage were destroying my family and my life. Consuming alcohol to cope numbed the pain but fixed nothing. And when no one I turned to could help me, I was out of options.

I saw that amid her problems, my friend carried a joy and peace that was foreign to me. She seemed to know something I didn’t. So, when life became more than I could handle, I finally cried out to God.

Linda: What happened? How did God respond? 

 Patty: The day I was planning to take my life, God intervened. After years of battling depression, Jesus saved me, and His healing touch caused my heart to swing wide open. Suddenly, I wanted to know God. And this desire to know Him took me on a life-changing journey.

Linda: How did knowing God’s heart change your life?

 Patty: As a believer, I understood “how” God saved us, what I didn’t understand was “why” He saved us. In all those years of growing up in church, going through the motions of religion, I never saw the passion of God’s heart. I didn’t understand what He was after or how the healing balm of His love could set me free from deep wounds and rejection.

Getting to know God’s heart changed me because it changed my perspective of God, myself, and those around me. Seeing His heart for me filled me with a love for Him and others. As it says in 1 John 4:19, “We love because He first loved us.”

Jesus came to set the captives free, and when we know God’s heart for us, that understanding can set us free from sin, wounds, addictions, temptations, and past hurts.

Linda: What led you to write Getting to Know God’s Heart? And what do you hope people will gain from reading it?

Patty: The one thing I want people to know is: The greatest desire of God’s heart is you! He longs for you. What He wants most is you—all your heart, mind, soul, and strength. This is what my friend knew about God. She knew she was passionately loved by the Almighty God of the Universe and that understanding awakened her soul. She knew, no matter what she faced in life, His heart was for her, and it gave her peace.

This is what my friend wanted for me. She wanted to help me recognize the one thing that would change my life—an awareness of God’s love. This is why I wrote the book, and what I want for those who read it to receive. Above all else, no matter who they are or what they are going through, God loves them passionately and cares about them deeply.

Linda: What made you decide to use a Bible study format rather than just a regular chapter book?

Patty: It’s vital we see God’s heart through His word, not through the commentary of the author.

Much of our inner pain comes from not knowing God. And I wanted the reader to have the thrill of discovering His heart for them through the intimacy of His word.

Linda: What would you say to someone who is having trouble receiving God’s heart for them?

 Patty: Perhaps, like me, you have experienced setbacks in your pursuit of God. But don’t allow those obstacles to define God’s character or your relationship with Him. Regardless of what has held you back, be encouraged. God’s unyielding love will not give up on you. He knows you. He sees you, and He will not stop in His relentless pursuit of you.

So, allow me to challenge you to let go of any pain, false beliefs, or expectations, and pursue the heart of God and allow Him to capture you with the wonders of His love.

This is a choice. You can hold onto grudges, bitterness, and hurt. You can keep your current perspective and remain stuck. You can continue to strive and struggle, convinced God is only interested in your performance. Or you can lay all that aside and discover a love so profound it will set you free, fill you with love, and give you identity and purpose.

Linda: Patty, thank you for writing this beautiful, life changing book. Where can people find out more about your book, Getting to Know God’s Heart as well as your ministry and other books?

 Patty: To learn more, they can visit www.LibertyinChristMinistries.com

I would also like to invite them to join me on our FB group Quick & Easy Bible Studies for Women at www.facebook.com/groups/quickandeasybiblestudies

 

 

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Filed Under: BOOKS, Depression, disappointment, Doubt, Expectations, faith, God's goodness, God's Word, Interviews, Jesus, Knowing God, Love, Peace, Receiving Christ, Surrendering to God, Uncategorized, Where is God? Tagged With: , , , , , , , , ,

What If My Marriage Is Not Reconciled?

October 17, 2021 by 2 Comments

woman looking upwardWHEN SELENA TOLD ME about her divorce, I was crushed. Years before, she had gone through Marriage 911, reconciled with her husband and been an enthusiastic supporter of others going through our ministry. We hadn’t been in touch for quite a while, and when she informed me of the happenings of the previous year, I was in shock.

She had made so many changes. She was more vibrant. Closer to God. She had literally become a more beautiful woman. She had ministered to others too and helped them walk this difficult journey.

I had not seen this coming, and neither had she. Her husband had seemed supportive, and they had come a long way. His divorcing her was completely unexpected.

For days I drug around, wondering how this could happen, asking God why. I remembered others whose marriages had also not reconciled. People who seemed to be doing all the right things.

One morning as I spent a prolonged time in prayer, God started whispering to my heart with memories, recollections, and encouragement. In my memory I saw Selena when she first came to class and how she was now. She had changed dramatically. She was more vibrant, more beautiful with a light in her eyes and a softness in her face. Her words were uplifting and gracious. She was closer to God and had a vital faith.

As God began to show me this, He began to speak to me in my heart. It’s not all about the marriage, Linda. It’s about the person themselves. And their relationship to me. I want them to come closer to me. And that’s what’s most important.

Awhile later my husband asked me what I was doing. I told him I’d been spending time with God and He was showing me some things.

“What did He show you?” he asked. “I always like hearing what God says to you.”

When I told him, he said, “Well that’s what we say in Marriage 911. You can’t change your spouse. You can only change yourself. It’s about your relationship between you and God.”

“And that’s what people say to me in their emails too,” I said. “Many people, whose marriages weren’t reconciled, email me to say that even though their marriage didn’t get back together and it was one of the hardest times in their life, they wouldn’t trade this experience because they had come so much closer to God.”

So, yes, after spending that time with the Lord, I realized it all comes down to this.

Even though my books and our Marriage 911 ministry have helped to bring about many reconciled marriages, there is no guarantee. Our fallen human natures still impact the results. The sinful choices and desires of a spouse can undermine God’s best plan for us. Likewise, our own past choices may have exhausted the emotional strength and patience of our mate. God gives us free will and does not force His own will upon us.

Sometimes in the searching for answers, we find answers we never expected, answers that explain far more than what initially drove us in our search.

In one of the last stories of my book, Fighting for Your Marriage while Separated, I quote an email sent to me from Theresa, who had gone through Marriage 911 and read Broken Heart on Hold, but whose marriage still ended in a divorce initiated by her husband. In the email she recalls the difficult journey and what she had learned through it.  “What if I was not really fighting for my marriage?” she asks. “What if God was actually having me fight for myself—my soul, my heart, my own salvation?” She finishes the email by saying, “The one that has been restored, I assure you, has been ME! I can finally hear Jesus saying to my heart, “See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland” (Isaiah 43:19).’”

As I continued to meditate on what God was showing me that day, I pictured someone dancing in God’s presence, joyful in the love surrounding them.  And I realized, although we want to help reconcile marriages, our ultimate goal is this: to open up each person’s heart to God, themselves, and others so they can shed the shabbiness within their souls and become the beautiful creation God intended them to be.

Hopefully, as they dance into their new persona, their spouses will be able to join them in the dance and the two of them can grow together in the pursuit of holiness God wants them to have. But even if their spouse does not join them, they will not dance alone. Jesus is there to lead them into the joyful discovery of all He holds for them. His love will be ever-present and His dance will lift them to new heights.

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