PRAYING PERSONALITIES: AUTHOR INTERVIEW WITH JANET HOLM MCHENRY

IS THERE A “right’ way to pray? Many of us have heard various prescriptions about how to make our prayer life more meaningful and effective. But when we try it out, it may seem complicated, awkward, or unnatural. Certain prayer approaches seem to work well for some people but not for others. But maybe, just maybe, that’s to be expected. In author Janet Holm McHenry’s new book, Praying Personalities, Finding Your Natural Prayer Style, Janet helps readers identify the more comfortable style of praying that fits their own personality. In our interview, Janet, who is the author of 26 books—six of them on prayer– gives you a glimpse of what you might discover in her new book.

Linda: Janet, I know you’re a woman of prayer and a leader in a number of prayer ministries. Tell us how prayer became a passion of yours. 

Janet: Some might say I literally fell into prayer. One day I walked out my back door and found myself in a crumpled heap because my knee had given way. So right there on the concrete I decided to do something about my health—that I would get up a little earlier the next day and walk, and while I walked, I would pray. There was a lot of my-ness in those initial prayers—my kids, my job as a high school English teacher, my marriage—but that all changed one day when I saw what I call a Single Daddy’s Ballet. That early, dark morning I watched as a man parked his pickup truck in front of the daycare center and sweep his little blanketed bundle over into the arms of the daycare worker waiting on the sidewalk. At that moment the little girl said, “Bye, Daddy. I love you!” And I knew right then that God had me out on the streets of my community less for the my-ness of my prayers but more for the needs around me. So I prayed for him and began to pray for whatever God put within my eyesight—my neighbors, the business people in my little town, and even commuters heading off to work in Reno.

Linda: How did prayerwalking grow into a passion and life’s study? 

Janet: It was a progression of understanding. First, I began to understand that wherever we are, there’s a need for prayer, so a praying-without-ceasing lifestyle is possible for us. And then a hunger developed in me to learn more about prayer, so I began combing God’s Word for biblical people’s prayers and any teachings on prayer—marking my Bible up with circled Ps. Then when my book PrayerWalk came out, I began speaking about prayer and prayerwalking.

Linda: You’ve also written many other books on prayer, including The Complete Guide to the Prayers of Jesus. But how did the idea come for your newest book, Praying Personalities: Finding Your Natural Prayer Style?

Janet: God laid a thought on my heart starting years ago. Because I was such a crazy advocate about prayerwalking, I encouraged others to pick up the practice when I spoke. But invariably a lovely woman would come to me afterwards and say, “But Janet, I can’t walk. What should I do?” And frankly, I’m not sure my answer was always adequate. Then a couple years ago I was speaking to a group of writers about how to incorporate more prayer into their lives—dozens and dozens of ideas—and I heard myself say, “Perhaps it has something to do with personality.” That was a mic-drop moment for me . . . especially when one of those writers said, “Janet, you should write a book about that.” So I began combing scripture again—looking for various ways biblical people prayed—looking at their language and Photo of author Janet Holm McHenryperspective and attitude.

Linda: And what did you discover? 

Janet: I found that those biblical folks prayed in many different ways. Moses argued with and complained at God. Job was a thinker and simply wanted to know the WHY? behind his pain. Hannah poured out her grief at not having a child in 1 Samuel 1, then a chapter later we see her beautiful poem of praise. David wrote half of the psalms—many of which were laments. Then we have those who fasted while they prayed—Ezra, Nehemiah, Esther—a very physical accompaniment with prayer. Paul wrote out summaries of his prayers to the various churches throughout the Mediterranean area. Seeing those differences in how people prayed provided the inspiration to consider various praying personalities and how each might pray in a natural way.

Linda: What kind of personalities did you find for prayer . . . and how might all of this give hope and guidance to us in our own prayer lives? 

Janet: I identify four different praying personalities—Problem Solver, Friend of God, Organized Pray-er (also called Lamenter), and Peace Seeker. And people can take the Praying Personalities Quiz I created (https://prayingpersonalities.com) to help them learn more about how they can develop a praying lifestyle that blends with their God-given personality. I simply want to help readers shed the guilt about what they think they’re doing or not doing. I used to feel I was a prayer failure! I didn’t have a prayer closet. I didn’t journal my prayers. I couldn’t keep up with an organized prayer notebook or other categorial system. But God led me to a praying style that helps me stay in touch with him all day long—one that has helped me overcome fears, depression, and feelings of inadequacy. And I simply want to share that hope with others too.

Linda: What process did you go through to identify the different praying personalities? Was it only by looking at the way people prayed in the Bible?

Janet: I started with examining how people prayed in the Bible, as well as the spiritual gifts and how they connect with prayer. Then I took a journalistic look at many of the personality theories to find the underlying questions that would determine the various personality types. I don’t advocate for any of those but simply state what they are: the Greek temperaments, Jung’s theories (even Elisabeth Elliott studied Jung), Myers-Briggs, Keirsey, 16 Personalities, Strengths Finder, Big 5, and the Enneagram. I also did studies of the generations to see how they prayed and discuss the learning styles also. It was a fascinating journey! And it may interest readers to know that the creators of these theories may not have created the questionnaires people take to identify their personality.

Linda: Is there any connection between the praying personalities and the personality profiles we’ve heard about in other places – like the sanguine, the choleric, the melancholy, and the phlegmatic?

Janet: Yes, readers will see a connection between the praying personalities and the temperaments. I am a certified LINKED Personalities trainer, so I worked mostly from that framework, which connects with the temperaments.

Linda: Could you give us an example of what these four different praying personalities look like? How would each of them pray differently?

Janet: Here’s a quick look at the Praying Personalities, which readers can discover by taking the Praying Personalities Quiz:

Problem Solver

  • Approaches prayer quickly from a problem-solving perspective.
  • Keeps prayers purposeful, succinct, and focused.
  • Prayer suggestions: go on a prayerwalk, pray while exercising, post reminders, fast.

Friend of God

  • Approaches prayer as relational time with God.
  • Loves praying with others.
  • Prayer suggestions: use worship music, round up the family to pray daily, speak to God out loud.

Organized Pray-er (Lamenter)

  • Sees prayer as an emotional, yet disciplined practice.
  • Needs to have a quiet place to pray away from the world.
  • Prayer suggestions: use a notebook system, keep a journal of prayers, create a prayer spot in your home.

Peace Seeker

  • Goes to prayer to restore personal peace.
  • Sees prayer time as an informal but steady practice.
  • Prayer suggestions: consider using prayer books to jumpstart a quiet time, use prayer apps, develop a simple prayer routine using an acronym such as ACTS (adoration, confession, thanksgiving, supplication)

Linda: Where can readers find out more about you and your ministry? 

Janet: They can find me at www.janetmchenry.com and my books here.

 

 

 

 

 

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How Much God Loves You!

Love Heart in SandSOMETIMES, AS AN AUTHOR, it amazes me to see just how much God loves you, my reader, and how far He’ll go to demonstrate that love for you as your broken heart cries out to Him and hangs on the precipice of hopelessness. There have been times, in fact, when He has gone to great lengths to show me just how much He loves each of you individually.

A Question from Africa

One of the most dramatic evidences of this happened a while back when I received an email from a woman in Africa who was separated from her husband and expressed the need for a friend in Christ. She found me on the web. Wanting to read Broken Heart on Hold, she asked how she could buy it there in South Africa.

I emailed my publisher, asking if they knew where my book could be found in that remote part of the world, but they were unable to find an answer for me.

A couple of weeks later, I experienced problems with my Amazon account, where people often buy Broken Heart on Hold, and I was forced to contact customer service to resolve it.  Technological problems typically drive me a little bit crazy so I wasn’t exactly a happy camper having to spend a lot of time on this. The woman I reached for the tech help was very polite and helpful but couldn’t immediately find the answer to the problem either, so as we waited and she tried different options, we began to chat.  She checked out my Amazon page and saw the title of my book, then asked me more about it.  As we talked and she made some positive observations about the title and subject and the enormous need for it, I began to realize that this woman was a Christian.  I asked her where she lived, and when she answered, I got goose bumps.

“South Africa,” she said.

South Africa!

 Immediately, the Holy Spirit connected the dots in my mind. The country from which I’d received the email where the woman was trying to find my book.  I couldn’t remember ever talking to someone from South Africa on the phone before. But now! Today! Two weeks after receiving that email . . . .

Was this God?

Connecting Across the World

While my customer service rep, who lived in South Africa, continued to check out various options and reach out to other tech operators for support, we continued to wait together on the phone. Since I had now confirmed that this woman was a Christian who was sympathetic to the needs of my readers, I told her about the woman who’d emailed me.

“Since you’re obviously proficient with computers, would you know how to look for Broken Heart on Hold to see if it’s available some place in South Africa?” I asked.

Immediately, she began doing a search on her end and in a few minutes produced the name of an online bookstore in South Africa that carried Broken Heart on Hold.

I was astounded—amazed. God had used my technological problems to answer a heartfelt need from one of my readers. Who would have thought my annoying techie issues would result in an answer to someone’s prayer?

How Much God Loves You

And that’s when I realized just exactly how much God loves YOU! You’re not just another person whose marriage is in trouble. You’re not just another woman in despair. You’re not just another man who has lost his way. You are uniquely His and you are uniquely loved in a very special way.

“In Ephesians, Paul yearned for God’s people to understand the depth of God’s love when he prayed, “I ask [the Father] that with both feet planted firmly on love, you’ll be able to take in with all followers of Jesus the extravagant dimensions of Christ’s love. Reach out and experience the breadth! Test its length! Plumb the depths! Rise to the heights! Live full lives, full in the fullness of God.” (Ephesians 3:19 – The Message)

Each of you travel your own individual journeys during these difficult times in your lives. Your needs are personal. You don’t fit a generic mold.  But God loves each of you in a completely individual way and comes to you on a specific time table, a specific path, and uses a specific approach to show you His love and His glory. He does not forsake you. God loves you. And He uses the entire resources of the universe to meet your needs in whatever way He deems appropriate for you personally.

 “Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?”  (Matthew 6: 26-27)

“I have loved you with an everlasting love.” Jeremiah 31:3

Oh, God, how good you are! How infinitely creative, powerful and clever to tap into my frustration with techie stuff, connect me across the world, and navigate the world’s resources to put me in touch with a Christian in South Africa who could find this book for a woman in desperate need. Lord, thank you for your amazing love!

 

If you are looking for hope and haven’t yet read Broken Heart on Hold, you can find it on Amazon. Or if you’re trying now to put all the pieces together in practical ways to find answers for restoration, you might want to check out my second book, Fighting for Your Marriage while Separated.

 

 

 

 

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Does God Always Answer Prayer?

A Woman praying and looking at the sunset with her back to us

Photo by Allef Vinicius

I HAD A TERRIBLE COLD, a croupy cough, no voice, and my publicist had four interviews scheduled for me in the next week as part of the launch for my book, Fighting for Your Marriage while Separated, which had just released a couple of months earlier. I was in a quandary.  How could I handle these interviews with no voice?

My husband and I began earnestly praying for my voice to return and my cough to subside. Surely God would answer our prayers. He always does so, right? Particularly when I was sharing a message of hope that so many people needed to hear.

We prayed. But nothing changed.

I called my publicist and asked her to cancel one of the interviews, but I had three more the following week. Marv and I continued praying.

A few days earlier I had had a Facebook discussion on the subject of unanswered prayer, and a woman posted a comment saying, “God always answers our prayers. Sometimes it’s yes, no, or wait. But there’s always an answer. We just need a discerning ear to hear him and be submissive to the answer He gives us.”

Was that true? Did God always answer prayer? Sometimes it seemed that He didn’t. Like now. I was praying, but not getting an answer. Was she right? Did I just not have a discerning ear?

If that’s true, I thought, how do I get a discerning ear?

A Discerning Ear

Well, that “thought” wasn’t exactly in the form of a prayer, but the Holy Spirit, who prays for us when we don’t know how to pray, (Rom. 8:26) intervened for me, and God gave me the answer to my question immediately.

We get a discerning ear by spending more time with God—by asking Him what He wants to say to us—by seeking—by listening.

So I asked God what He wanted to say to me. And again I got an answer. He wanted to take me deeper. He wanted me to spend more time with him. I was putting out to others, but I was not spending time at the source – with Him.

In response, I spent Sunday immersed in the Bible. I started a new Bible study, and read a couple of Christian books—allowing God to speak to me. I drank some pureed pineapple like some friends suggested, took the cough medication prescribed by my doctor, and continued to pray and spend time in His Word.

And I started getting answers.

One of the things God said to me that Sunday when I prayed about my cough and my voice, was “trust me.”

Trust Me

A big concern I had was whether to email my publicist and ask her to tell the host of the broadcast on Monday about my voice and my cough and let him decide if he wanted to take a chance on me. After all, it was a LIVE 60 minute show. If I couldn’t talk, he wouldn’t have a show.

As I prayed about it that Sunday, however, the one thing I kept hearing in my spirit was “trust me.” God brought Proverbs 3:5-6 to mind – repeatedly. “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him and he will direct your paths.”

God was telling me to stop trying to figure out what I should do based “on my own understanding.” God was telling me to trust Him.

On Monday morning I woke up and took a deep breath. A DEEP breath! I didn’t cough. Clear, fresh air filled my lungs. It felt wonderful. When I spoke to my husband, my voice wasn’t raspy. He could hear me.

That afternoon I did a great one hour LIVE interview, and my voice was almost normal. I didn’t cough.

God had gotten my attention, and I hadn’t cancelled the interview. I had trusted God instead. It wasn’t that God wasn’t answering my prayer, it was that I needed to spend time with Him so I could HEAR His answer. I had been asking Him to heal me and when I didn’t hear his answer, I thought He wasn’t answering me. But there needed to be a part 2 of my prayer – “God what are you trying to show me?” God wanted me to ask part 2 before I could get a “yes” to part one.

That day I responded back to the woman on Facebook. “You make a great point. God always hears our prayers, and He always has an answer for us. When we don’t hear what the answer is, He may be calling us to go deeper with Him so we can hear His voice more clearly and develop that “spiritually discerning ear” You mentioned.  God is always about relationship—our relationship with Him. His greatest desire is for us to come closer to Him where we can hear His voice. So when we don’t seem to get an answer to our prayer, we need to spend more time with Him in His word and in more concentrated time in prayer so we can go deeper, asking Him to show us what He wants us to see. Thank you for making that important point.”

Amen and Amen.

If you have a troubled marriage and want to know if God can answer your prayer for restoration, check out my book, Fighting for Your Marriage while Separated. It will not only provide guidance for this journey but also show you how to pray for your marriage.

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Delays and Waiting

clock ticking away while waitingIT’S AMAZING TO ME how often God uses delays and waiting to bring blessing to those He loves in the stories of the Bible. But I’m struck by the fact that God also often uses these delays to test the hearts of those in waiting to see if they are worthy of the blessing he is about to bestow.

Although God promised Abraham to make him the father of nations, God waited to fulfill that promise until Abraham was very old, and during these years of waiting, God tested His faith before blessing him with a son.

Sarah, his wife, also received this promise. Although she believed God in theory, she doubted His ability to fulfill it for her personally because she was past the age of bearing children. She decided to “help” God by coming up with an alternative solution. But by taking things in her own hands, she caused huge complications not only in her own family, but in the family of nations to this very day.

Elizabeth, the mother of John the Baptist, and her husband Zechariah, were righteous in God’s sight, and yet God did not bless them with a child until they were well along in years. But because of their faith, the child they bore in their old age was especially chosen by God to point people to Jesus, and today they continue to be some of the heroes of our faith.

Hannah was denied a child while the rival wife of her husband, who had children, lorded it over her. Year after year Hannah suffered the indignity of infertility, but when she wept before God in the temple and sought His blessings, God heard her prayer. After many years of barrenness, she gave birth to the prophet Samuel, whom she dedicated to the Lord with a humble and thankful heart. Then God blessed her with three more sons and two daughters, and when Samuel grew up, he provided godly guidance to Israel for many years.

After Saul became king, God had Samuel test Saul’s obedience and faith by asking Saul to wait for Samuel to come to sacrifice to the Lord before he went out to battle. But Saul didn’t wait. He took matters into his own hands, and because of his refusal to wait for God’s timing, he lost what would have been for him a kingdom for all time, and a nation was plunged into many years of turmoil.

God made David wait also. Even though God anointed him and promised him the kingship. David spent many years running for his life as enemies pursued him with the intent to kill. Hear David’s agony as he cries out in Psalms 22:1-2, “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me? Why are you so far from saving me, so far from the words of my groaning? O my God, I cry by day, but You do not answer.” It took many years before David was crowned king, but in the waiting David became strong. His heart grew more closely knit to the Lord, and when he took the throne as king, he was a man after God’s own heart.

Often we must wait as well.

When things seem to be going downhill, when our nation seems to be falling apart, perhaps we are simply in a period of waiting. God may be testing our hearts to see if his people will humbly follow him or if we will rise up in arrogance to do things our own way.

2 Chronicles 7:14 says, “If my people, which are called my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways, then will I hear from heaven and forgive their sin, and will heal their land.”

When the problems in our country and our world begin to weigh us down, perhaps it is time to examine our own hearts as well as our personal lives. Are we waiting in faith for God to meet our needs? Or taking things into our own hands? Each of the examples above tells a story of personal anguish and longing, but the faith or lack of faith of these individuals impacted not only their own lives but the lives of generations to follow. Nations were affected.

We often see our lives and our problems in isolation. But each of us play a part in a larger story. God tells us in 2 Chronicles that He will heal our land if we humble ourselves, pray, seek His face, and turn from our wicked ways. He is not only speaking to us corporately, but individually as well. The way we exercise faith in our daily circumstances affects much more than we realize.

When trouble comes, do we humble ourselves and wait on God?

How would our story read in the annals of faith?

Those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles, they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.” Isaiah 40:31

In my new book – a suspense thriller called Pieces of Dark, Pieces of Light,- the suspense, the drama, and even the very dark pieces all come together with the light of God’s truth to create beauty. If you’re ready to take a break and enjoy a little fiction, check it out.

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Wrestling – When Problems Seem Overwhelming

woman sitting on beach with head in hands, grieving and wrestling with problemsPROBLEMS HAPPEN. Often. Sometimes they seem overwhelming. We wake in the night and find ourselves wrestling with nightmarish situations that we just can’t get control over.

How do we cope with these situations that seem to have no good answer? How do we win?

I have found the path to winning is often far different from the one we initially choose to take.

And it starts by first going to scripture. Ephesians 6:12 says, “Our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.”

What Is Our Focus?

Too often, when we are wrestling with a difficult problem, our focus remains riveted to “the problem,” on our circumstances, on the people who seem to be causing it. We become so entrenched in thinking about our circumstances we can’t focus anywhere else. And by limiting our thinking. we fail to recognize who the real enemy is. It’s like we are keeping our nose to the ground, trying to catch a lizard when there is an alligator bearing down on us from behind.

During my husband’s and my three year separation, I taped a scripture to the wall, which I saw whenever I walked around the house.

“The mind set on the flesh is death, but the mind set on the spirit is life and peace.” (Romans 8:6 NASB)

The scripture reminded me where I needed to focus my thoughts, and by focusing on the spirit instead of my fleshly problems, it often helped me escape the depression that frequently pulled me under.

Once we recognize our need to focus on God instead of on earthly things, we are on the right path.

Are We Wrestling WITH The Enemy? Or AGAINST The Enemy?

Secondly, we don’t recognize, that as children of God who have accepted Jesus as our Savior, we have a power that we too often fail to use – the power of Jesus’ name and the power of His Word.

And thirdly, because of our limited understanding, we find ourselves wrestling WITH the enemy when we should be wrestling AGAINST the enemy.  That subtle distinction in Ephesians 6:12 can make a huge difference in the way we tackle problems that confront us. For if we wrestle WITH the enemy, we are giving the enemy equal footing; we are failing to acknowledge the power God has given us as His sons and daughters. We are flailing in helplessness as negative situations overwhelm and try to defeat us.

So in Ephesians 6:12 (above) when Paul uses the word “against” three times, he is telling us to use the weapons God has given us to take authority OVER the enemy and DEFEAT HIM. The enemy is NOT on equal footing with us. “He who is in you is greater than he who is in the world.” (I John 4:4)

When we finally do come to this understanding, then we need to take advantage of the wealth of God’s armory – the weapons He has given us to fight AGAINST the enemy and win the battle.

What Are These Weapons?

Ephesians 6:10-20 tells us how to put on the armor of God, and that is basic in the battle so we know how to protect ourselves as we face the enemy.

But the weapon we use to fight AGAINST the enemy is described in Ephesians 6:17: “The sword of the spirit which is the word of God.” In other words, we fight with the word of God—scripture. The more we immerse ourselves in the Bible and know what God has said to us, the better able we are to use His words to fight AGAINST the enemy.

Using words of scripture that are appropriate to our situation become powerful weapons in our arsenal and in our prayers.

A few of my favorites are:

Joshua 1:9 “Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid, do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.” (NIV)

1 Timothy 1:7 “For the Spirit of God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power, of love, and of a sound mind.” (NKJV)

Exodus 14:14 “the Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still,” (NIV)

Deut. 20:4 “For the Lord your God is the one who goes with you to fight for you against your enemies to give you victory.” (NIV)

Psalms 91:9-11 “If you say, The Lord is my refuge,” and you make the Most High your dwelling, no harm will overtake you, no disaster will come near your tent  for he will command his angels concerning you to guard you in all your ways.”

And there are so many more. Search the scriptures. Spend time with God. Ask the Holy Spirit to guide you. Don’t let the enemy pull you under. If you have accepted Jesus as your Savior, you are a child of God. “The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds.” (2 Cor. 10:4)

If you would like to read more on this subject, my book, Fighting for Your Marriage while Separated goes into this subject more thoroughly in two different chapters about entering the prayer closet and turning the prayer closet into the war room.

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On My Knees

Man praying on knees at the beach

Photo by Ben White

WHEN WE THINK of someone praying, the iconic picture that typically comes to mind is of a person on their knees, head bowed, with hands clasped before them.

I even used this image in a poignant scene in the novel I am currently writing.

Of course, that is not the posture we necessarily use ourselves when we pray. In fact, I rarely pray on my knees. More often, I pray while sitting or standing—or even lying down in bed.

But I do remember a few times when my heart was so broken over the request I was making, and where the agony of the need so great, that the desire for an answer drove me to my knees in fervent supplication before my Lord.

So recently I started thinking about this. What is the significance of the act of praying on our knees? Why is this image ingrained in our minds? Is it the physical position itself? Or is there a deeper significance?

Certain scriptures particularly come to mind to reinforce this image:

Daniel praying in defiance of the king’s decree:

“Now when Daniel learned that the decree had been published, he went home to his upstairs room where the windows opened toward Jerusalem. Three times a day he got down on his knees and prayed, giving thanks to his God, just as he had done before”  (Daniel 6:10).

And Paul’s earnest prayer for believers:

“For this reason I kneel before the Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth derives its name. I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being,. . .” (Ephesians 3:14-21).

Was it the physical position itself that was important? Or is there a deeper significance?

As I thought back to those times I prayed on my knees, I remember  totally laying my heart before God. It was an emptying out of myself to seek God’s answer. There was no more thinking I could control things myself. There was no more manipulation of God by reminding him of what a good girl I had been.

It was with complete honesty of heart and mind that I fell to my knees before my Savior.

The physical position was not what was important however. I believe it was the attitude of my heart—which drove me to my knees—that God desired from me.

The physical position of praying on our knees points us to the attitude of heart the Lord wants us to have. It’s not our body but our hearts God wants to have bowed before him. It’s the humility we show when we prostrate ourselves before him in complete surrender, putting aside our pride and feelings of entitlement to come before the Lord so He can remake us in His image.

The attitude of heart that takes us to our knees is a sweet offering to God. Sometimes the literal dropping to our knees reflects that attitude within us. But what is most important—whatever our physical posture—is that we come to God in humility, surrender, and faith, believing with all our hearts that His love is sufficient to take us through our hardest times and lead us into His presence. Our Lord sees our heart, and when it is bowed before Him He will lift us up, hear our prayers, and pour out His blessings upon us.

“Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up.” James 4:10

If you want to know how to pray for your marriage when it’s in crisis, you will find much more about this in my new book Fighting for Your Marriage while Separated, and my first book, Broken Heart on Hold, Surviving Separation.

 

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Prayers for 9/11 – Twenty Years Later

Fires breaking out in the towers on 9-11SMOKE BILLOWED FROM the building as flames continued to engulf it. Again and again on the TV, a tape replayed, showing an airplane exploding into the upper part of the World Trade Center. News reporters frantically attempted to explain what had happened. No reports yet about the people inside except that survivors were seen running from the building. The unspoken question, “How many had already died?”

Flames suddenly exploded from the other tower. “I think that was another plane,” the reporter exclaimed incredulously. “Let me run that again.” As the tape ran a second time, he shouted, “Yes, another plane just hit the second tower!”

Slowly, the truth began to dawn. It was a terrorist attack. Reports began coming from every direction . . . like in the story of Job. Just as one reporter finished announcing a disaster, another interrupted to tell about another.

“There is fire in the Pentagon.”

“There is a report that another hi-jacked plane is still in the sky; no one knows where it is.”

As events unfolded, it became clear that a day of infamy had just been etched into the history of America. It was the morning of September 11, 2001.

As I watched TV that day with reports and televised pictures showing everything that was happening at once, I was reminded of how God looks down on each of us in the middle of a crisis and sees all the surrounding events that are taking place at the same time. He sees the big picture. Those at the heart of that terrible disaster had no idea what was happening. Many had no radio or television or any means of communicating with others. Cell phones were still in their infancy. These people did not know there was a terrorist attack. They did not know hijacked planes were being used as missiles. They had no idea of the kind of danger they were in. But those of us watching television saw it all unraveling on the screen before us. We had the big picture. And with the gift of perspective, those of us who belong to Christ could tap into The One who had an even bigger picture. We could pray.

Hearing that another hijacked jet was still in the sky that morning, I felt an urgency sweep through me. I ran to my living room and knelt down with my hands clasped on the love seat. Looking through the glass doors behind and up into the sky, I began to pray deeply in the spirit. Specifically I prayed for the people on that plane. I prayed for any Christians on the plane to experience God’s wisdom. I prayed that there were courageous people on the plane who would be able to intervene and change the course of the jet so there would not be another violent collision into a major landmark. My prayers were feverish and urgent. In the eye of my mind I could feel struggles going on.

After a few minutes I went back to the television set in the family room. Before long, a commentator reported a plane crash in Pennsylvania. They did not know if this was related to the hijackings or just an odd coincidence. Sometime later, stories began to filter through the airways that one man, then two men, then three…had called on cell phones and told their loved ones they were going to do something about the hijacking that was taking place.

Around noon I called my daughter, and we talked about our prayers that morning. Her prayer had been for the dying. “I just kept praying that people who were dying would call on the name of Jesus,” she said. In the solemnity of her voice there was a deep, painful sense of eternity hanging in the balance.

Several days later I heard the story of a Christian man who told of being with a group of people trapped in one of the Towers just before the collapse of Tower 2. “Call on the name of Jesus,” he shouted to them. From all around him, people began crying out, “Jesus,” “Jesus.” Miraculously, this man not only managed to get out from under the debris that buried them, but pulled out two others who were still alive as well. The three made it through the ash and debris to safety, but the others didn’t survive.

As Christians we know by faith that God is in control. What we cannot see, however, is how He exercises that control. He did not stop those first three planes that hit the World Trade Center and the Pentagon. But how many unseen mysteries happened that day that we will never hear of? How many people were moved by God’s Holy Spirit to pray? How many prayers strengthened the saints caught in the middle of disaster? How many stories could be told of heroism and courage that had eternal results? We will never know the answer to that until one day in Heaven we see “face to face.” Then we will know the mysteries and see God’s plan unfurled.

In a few more days it will be twenty years since that fateful day of September 11, 2001.

And once again we see and hear about innocent people in jeopardy because of the atrocities of terrorism—innocent people now trapped in the very country that birthed the horror of 9/11 twenty years ago, now controlled by a terrorist regime. And we wonder . . .  What is next? For the people of Afghanistan? For us? For the rest of the world?

As Christians we are not called to fear, however. We are called to prayer. For we know our God watches on the big screen. God hears our prayers and knows the needs of each of His people. He is in control, and the wonders of His ways none of us can fathom. As we tap into God through prayer, our prayers can touch people we don’t even know in countries we’ll never visit, including those desperate people in Afghanistan whose cries are being heard in the hearts of people around the world.

On September 11 I invite you to join me in calling on the name of Jesus and making this September 11, 2021, a day of prayer. We don’t have to change our plans or stay on our knees. But throughout the day we as Christians can pray quiet prayers of protection for the innocent, and confusion and defeat for the violent perpetrators of evil.

Please join me and dedicate yourself to prayer on September 11.

If my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways, then will I hear from Heaven, and forgive their sin, and will heal their land. (2 Chronicles 7:14)

The righteousness of the blameless makes a straight way for them, but the wicked are brought down by their own wickedness. (Prov. 11:5)

Are you with me? Will you pray? I’d love to read your comments below:

To remind yourself about who’s in charge, listen to the following song and know that God will indeed hear you when you call.

“Whom Shall I Fear? (The God of Angel Armies)” by Chris Tomlin     https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R0gu0nOaFsI

 

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If My Words Abide in You

Open Bible with glasses lying on topIT’S SO INTERESTING TO ME that the more we allow God’s Word to abide within us, the more we begin to understand His words.  I remember a time when I thought, “Well, I’ve read through the Bible, and I’ve even read these books of the New Testament two or three times. I know what they say.”

I wondered why it was important for me to read them again . . . and again … and again, reading the Bible over and over each day throughout my life as a Christian.

But one day recently, after having spent considerably more time in the Bible, I found myself talking to someone and words of scripture were coming off my tongue as I tried to encourage her. And in my prayers I found myself praying with words of scripture.

All of a sudden I realized, this is what it means when Jesus says, “If you abide in me and my words abide in you, you can ask what you desire and it will be done for you” (John 15:7). He truly, honestly wants His words to actually live in us so they roll off our tongues in prayer and in encouragement to others. He wants us to become so immersed in His Word that His words automatically come to our minds when we are worried or in fear. He wants us to read His Word over and over until His words are pressed into our soul and minds.

I remember at various times in the past hearing someone praying whose petitions were punctuated with words from scripture. Their prayers were powerful and I could feel the Spirit of God as they prayed. So as I pondered this new truth God was revealing to me, I realized one of the reasons these people’s prayers were so powerful is that they have the Word of God living within them. They have become so familiar with God’s Word that the Spirit enables them to call it up when they need it.

In addition, over the years, prayer warriors I’ve known have impressed upon me the power of praying scripture back to God. I have even written about this because I’ve experienced the truth of it. Finding a scripture that pertains to our need and praying it back to God adds a powerful dimension to our prayers. Prayers are more powerful when we repeat God’s Word back to Him.

So the question becomes, how does this happen? How do we get to the place where God’s Word is “abiding” in us so we can recall it when we need it?

Some people recommend scripture memory. Memorizing basic passages like Psalm 23, John 3:16 and 1 Corinthians 10:13 can deposit important truths into our spiritual bank account so they are readily available when needed. For me, however, whenever I attempted to memorize Bible verses or passages out of context, I felt like a dismal failure. While I might remember the first couple of verses, the endeavor seemed a bit too cerebral for me to put my heart into it

Now I think – was memorizing scripture the answer or is there more?

While memorizing scripture is a valuable spiritual exercise and plants life-giving truths into our minds for later reference, I believe there’s an even deeper dimension to this. When we regularly read the Bible for ourselves on a daily basis, soaking up God’s truth, we will gradually absorb God’s Word into our hearts and minds so that it lives within us. We can underline favorite verses or passages that stand out to us so we can go back later and be reminded of truths God has previously highlighted for us in the context of His larger message. Gradually, His words weave themselves into our thinking.

It’s a matter of just spending time with God each day—in prayer and in His Word, calling on Jesus to open our minds and hearts to enjoy a deeper experience with Him. Not only will our understanding of God’s ways become more meaningful, but our prayers will become more powerful. Then we will understand what it means when He says to us, “If you abide in me and my words abide in you, you can ask what you desire and it will be done for you” (John 15:7).

If you’re in the midst of heartache because of marital troubles, I’d like to share with you my own discoveries of how God can use this time to take you deeper into Him. You will find this and more in my book, Broken Heart on Hold, Surviving Separation.

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5 Promises to Help Us Hold onto Hope

Guest Post by Grace Fox

To say the past year has been challenging is an understatement. The pandemic grounded me and my husband—the director of a mission sending agency—from our usual international ministry travels. It canceled all my speaking engagements when large gatherings were banned. It stole time with our children and grandchildren, complicated everything surrounding my mother’s illness and passing, and tested my ability to live happily with my husband of 39 years while confined to living in a sailboat’s limited space fulltime.

COVID-19 and its variants are robbing us of loved ones, jobs, homes and material possessions, health, and dreams. It has even targeted our hope—the one thing we cannot afford to lose, according to John Maxwell. We can recover from other losses, he says, but “when a man loses hope, there’s nothing to do but bury him.”

One dictionary defines hope as “a feeling of expectation and desire for a certain thing to happen.” But, for believers, hope runs deeper than an optimistic outlook or wishful thinking. The Holman Bible Dictionary says hope is “trustful expectation, particularly with reference to the fulfillment of God’s promises. Biblical hope is the anticipation of a favorable outcome under God’s guidance.”

So, how can we hang onto hope as we face ongoing challenges and a host of unknowns? I believe the key lies in placing our expectations not in circumstances but in God and His promises. Here are five biblical promises that have buoyed me through the storm.

  • God is with us.

Isolation and loneliness are significant issues. Lack of in-person connection with people outside our home leads to feeling forgotten. That, combined with the challenge of  connecting heart-to-heart with a spouse who handles stress differently than oneself leads to despair.

Some individuals and couples express feeling abandoned by God. Their losses are so painful and their fear of the unknown so all-encompassing that they’ve lost their grip on God’s promised presence. “I am with you always, to the end of the age,” Jesus told His disciples (Matthew 28:20). His promise stands true for us today. We hold onto hope because the truth is this: we are not alone even when we feel alone.

  • God is still sovereign.

God didn’t wake up one morning in 2020, watch the world news, and gasp. He knew the pandemic was Cover for book, Finding Hope in Crisiscoming and how it would affect the world. He knew how it would expose our weaknesses and reveal our strengths. He knew how it would test family and marriage relationships.

Circumstances are not out of control. God has plans we cannot understand, and He will accomplish His purposes. “I am God, and there is none like me. Only I can tell you the future before it even happens. Everything I plan will come to pass, for I do whatever I wish” (Isaiah 46:9-10). We have hope because God is still God and He is still in control.

  • God the Holy Spirit prays for us.

Sometimes our circumstances seem so dark and difficult that prayerful words escape us. That’s when we need promises like Romans 8:26-27— “And the Holy Spirit helps us in our weakness. For example, we don’t know what God wants us to pray for. But the Holy Spirit prays for us with groanings that cannot be expressed in words. And the Father who knows all hearts knows what the Spirit is saying, for the Spirit pleads for us believers in harmony with God’s own will.” Hope comes when we rest in the truth that the Spirit’s got us covered in prayer even when we can’t express what’s in our heart.

  • God will provide for our needs.

A plaque on the wall above my writing desk begins with text from Psalm 23: “The Lord is my Shepherd. I lack nothing.” A shepherd’s primary focus is his flock’s well-being, so he’s diligent to make sure his sheep have everything they need to flourish.

Psalm 23:1 assures us that our Shepherd has equipped us to survive this wild ride. Do you need wisdom for navigating the journey in harmony with your spouse? Ask in faith believing He’ll give it in unlimited measure (James 1:5-6). Peace? It’s yours when you give Him your concerns and thank Him for all He has done (Philippians 4:6-7). Strength? It’s yours when you make Him your focus (Isaiah 40:28-31).

  • God will wipe away our tears.

This, too, shall pass. Someday, somehow, God will bring about a good outcome. No matter what the future holds, He will eventually make everything right. “He will wipe every tear from their eyes, and there will be no more death or sorrow or crying or pain. All these things are gone forever” (Revelation 21:4).

Chuck Swindoll writes, “God keeps His promises. It’s a major part of His immutable nature. He doesn’t hold out hope with nice-sounding words, then renege on what He said He would do. God is neither fickle nor moody. And He never lies. As my own father used to say of people with integrity, ‘His word is His bond.’”

God holds out hope to us through His promises, and we hold onto hope by clinging to those promises.

Photo of Grace Fox

Grace Fox lives in Richmond, BC. She’s a popular speaker at women’s events, a member of the First 5 writing team (P31 Ministries), and the co-director of International Messengers Canada. Her new devotional, Finding Hope in Crisis: Devotions for Calm in Chaos, is available wherever Christian books are sold. www.gracefox.com

 

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Let’s Talk about Marriage in Crisis . . .

Photo by Ben White

For the past several months of 2020 our world has been in such crisis that I have spent much of my time on Heart Talk just working through the daily troubles we’re experiencing together as a people. As a result, I haven’t focused on marriage as much as I’d like.

So today I’m beginning a series on marriage—particularly focusing on how to work through a marriage in crisis so you come out on the other side in one piece. During the following weeks, some of my posts will actually be segments I initially planned to include in my latest book, Fighting for Your Marriage while Separated, but which didn’t appear in the final release. With these posts, I hope to continue walking beside you as you work to bring restoration to your marriage.

If your life is embroiled in chaos because of what is happening in your marriage, throwing a pandemic into the mix certainly doesn’t help. An already broken heart has a hard time holding the pieces together. Discouragement, depression, and hopelessness swirl around you like a bad dream. Loneliness engulfs you, and you can’t even reach out to people because we’re in a pandemic.

Even without a pandemic, those who are separated or have a marriage in crisis are some of the loneliest people around. A study conducted in 1991 about loneliness in adults reported that the separated are more lonely than any other group of adults categorized by marital status. In fact, 29.6% of the Separated say they are lonely compared to 20.6% widowed, 20.4% divorced, 14.5% never married and 4.6% married. Even if you could go out and spend time with people, when you are separated, you don’t feel like you belong anywhere. And when you’re in the middle of marital crisis but still together, your couple times with others may seem disingenuous.

Hope seems like a foreign word in another language. What does hope even mean? What does it look like? Where do you find it?

It begins by taking a step back from the crisis and getting a new perspective. It begins by focusing your heart and mind on the invitation of Psalm 46:10, “Be still and know that I am God.”  In our lonely state, we can enter into a communication with our God that goes deeper than what we’ve known before. He can open our eyes to things we’ve missed and truths that penetrate any errors in our thinking. And He’s always near.

As you wait, let these words form a prayer on your lips, “But now, Lord, what do I look for? My hope is in you.” Psalm 39:7

In our marriage classes, many times it has been Psalm 46:10 that has redirected a person’s thoughts and actions to bring them to a place where they can change the course of their marriage. And, often, it’s a day of prayer that shifts a person’s thinking and starts them on the path toward reconciliation.  Alberto’s story, in my book, Fighting for Your Marriage while Separated, testifies to this very truth. It was when he was quiet before God that God began turning his life around. As a result, he and his wife reconciled, and now, several years later, their marriage is thriving. To this day Alberto serves God with a humble heart and has been involved in helping other men on their path to reconciliation in their marriages.

So today, stop! Look to the Lord. Let Him quiet your spirit so you can begin to hear His voice.

We wait in hope for the Lord; he is our help and our shield. Psalm 33:20

Why, my soul, are you downcast? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God. Psalm 42:5

If you’re experiencing a marriage in crisis, let my first book, Broken Heart on Hold, be that needed friend, walking beside you to help you quiet your heart while you look to God to heal your emotions and give you strength for the journey.

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