Dying to Meet Jesus, Author Interview with Randy Kay

Book cover for Dying to Meet JesusWITH THE DEATH of my husband just three months ago, Heaven has been very much on my mind. It’s a surreal feeling to know my husband is still alive but in a heavenly realm where I can’t communicate with him. I long to know what he is doing and what his new life is like. So the interview I did here with author Randy Kay is especially meaningful for me. Randy almost died a few years back and had a near death experience in which he actually experienced heaven for about 30 minutes. His book, Dying to Meet Jesus, tells about his near-death-experience after dying and meeting Jesus in heaven. In my interview with him here he’s going to share some things from that experience. As CEO of PACEsetters and chairman of TenorCorp, Randy Kay has an impressive business background and has written for Forbes and the Wall Street Journal.

As we celebrate Easter and the new life Jesus brings to us through His death and resurrection, Randy’s story gives us a riveting glimpse into the heaven our God has prepared for us.

Linda: Randy, before sharing your story with us, please tell us a little bit about your background. I understand you have more than 30 years of experience working in business and are the founder of PACEsetters. Tell us more about that and how you became a Christian.

 Randy: ​I was a devout agnostic in my youth and challenged all religions through a comprehensive study at Northwestern University that I detail in my book.

Our researchers debunked all religions except Christianity. Most religions were created by a single individual or a fusion of beliefs. However, we discovered that the biblical account of God being true was validated with a probability ratio of 1.26 million to one! After that I cried out to an unknown God: “If you’re real, I need to know you as genuinely as I know my loved ones on earth.”

After surviving a near-fatal car crash, I began my sincere search to learn about the God of the Bible. I attended a church near Chicago and responded to an invitation for attendees who wished to receive Jesus Christ as their Lord and Savior. I prayed, and later that night I indeed met Jesus Christ in my spirit. Still, I remained a bit of a skeptic. I certainly did not believe in near-death-experiences (NDEs). That is, until I had my own.

Linda: I watched a TV interview with you and saw that you experienced a miraculous face-to-face encounter with Jesus in your near death experience, meeting Him at the point of death. What were your first thoughts when seeing Jesus in heaven during that near death experience? ​

Randy: Yes, I clinically died from multiple blood clots and a drug-resistant infection throughout my body. My heart stopped beating.

I remember that first time meeting Jesus as vividly as if I were there right now. My “cheek to cheek” meeting with Jesus brings me to tears whenever I think back on it. My first thought in heaven was: “So this is Love.” Jesus hugged me, tightly. He did not have to say that He loved me, because His presence permeated every fiber of my being. I remember a sense of “knowing” – knowing that Jesus was my all, and that nothing could happen to me without Jesus being with me. Perfect peace and comfort possessed me. “I am with you always,” He said. I just caved into His chest. I felt at home like never in this world.

Linda: Can you describe what else you experienced during your time with Jesus?

Randy: ​In heaven, Jesus fulfilled all of my needs, so I did not long for anything and I certainly had no worldly cares. Being with Jesus was sufficient for me. This is a difficult thing to describe, because that sense is like nothing on this earth. It was total completeness, absolute contentment. Another sense I experienced was that I had all of Jesus’ attention. I knew that He held the cares of the world, but I felt as though I was an audience of one.

As to heaven itself, the colors were more vibrant, the fragrances more aromatic, the landscape more beautiful than anything in this world. Everything was alive. The glory of God rested through the environs, and everyone and everything worshipped the Lord.

I remember the angelic chorus, rows of linens, the joy on the faces of everyone in paradise…there really are no adequate words to describe heaven. It was like walking into another dimension, as though I was viewing a beautifully painted landscape and then suddenly I had stepped into a living version of that landscape.

Linda: You present a very comforting picture–particularly for me in this time of my own grieving. Since your near death experience, have you struggled at all to share this story? How have people reacted to the story of your near death experience?

Randy: ​It took me 14 years before I could share my near death experience publicly. Before then, only a handful of people knew about it. There was no need to share it with others who might trivialize the most important meeting in my life. That is, until I was interviewed on GodTV about a business book I had written, and the interviewer (who was my former pastor), asked me about my near death experience. I cried while sharing my story for the first time publicly.

On the flight back, the Holy Spirit prompted me to write another book. However, this time the Holy Spirit prompted me to write about “our special time together.” At first, sharing this experience was hard. I felt like I was defiling something sacred, but then God’s peace and inspiration filled me, and the writing just flowed out. That is how I wrote Dying to Meet Jesus.

I now pray that readers will know God more intimately after reading this book. Also, I wanted to address the question as to why a loving God allows suffering. I hope that readers will better understand why God allows brokenness and suffering to happen, since I share several stories of brokenness involving others as well as my own sufferings. I share the suffering of my daughter’s struggles with drugs, illness, rape and attempted suicide for the first time. I also share my own struggles with depression. Several others in my life allowed me to share their stories of brokenness also.Head shot of Randy Kay, author of Dying to Meet Jesus

Linda: What trials did you face after your near death experience? Did you expect to face more trials, or did you believe that the worst was behind you?

Randy: I never doubted God’s Love after my near death experience, but I did struggle. In fact, some of my greatest sufferings occurred after meeting Jesus. I lost my job, my financial security, and almost lost my family. At times I wondered why God did not just take me when He “had the chance.” However, in heaven, Jesus told me that He was returning me to this world because my purpose had yet to be fulfilled. Since then, I began teaching people how to thrive in life and how to overcome struggles.

Previously, I was a corporate executive. I lost almost all of my savings trying to fulfill the purpose with which God commissioned me, but I never doubted God’s hand in my life. When challenges arise, my Lord tells me to “trust” Him, and that He will always make my path straight. I am continually reminded that God is still with me.

Linda: Did your near death experience change your outlook on life?

Randy: I know Love as a person and as a guiding presence, and that has made all the difference in my life. I can handle challenges better because of this deeply embedded awareness of Jesus as my friend. He is more real to me than most people I know! I can speak to others about God with more confidence and understanding. And, this has given me an insight into Jesus’ absolute devotion to His children that has transcended into every area of life, both the good and the bad.

Linda: In your book, Dying to Meet Jesus, you say, “Friends, be careful what you pray for.” Could you tell us why you say this? ​

Randy: God answers prayer, but He will do it in a way that is best, even if the way to attain what we need is fraught with challenges. God desires our best, whereas we oftentimes desire what is convenient, or what appears good. This world sullies us with its temptations and false teachings. God refines us through a process of redemption. As a father, I know that the most painful process of parenting is allowing my children to go through challenges for their own good. God may allow suffering for a reason, but He will never leave us there. God collects our tears in a bottle (Psalm 56:8), and from those tears He produces a river of abundant life. That is what I saw in heaven.

Linda: For those of us who have lost a loved one, what can you tell us about what they might be experiencing now?

Randy: For the believer in Jesus Christ, there is no real death. I never experienced a sense of having died. I only experienced a transition to another place.

Leaving this world is like leaving your workplace, and then suddenly finding yourself on a glorious vacation with the One who loves you most. For anyone who has lost a loved one in Christ, know that he/she feels more alive today, as difficult as that may seem. There remains an empty place for those of us who are left behind, but I can assure you that we can look forward to an eternity in heaven with no remembrance of our losses or sufferings.

Grieving for a lost loved one is normal, but only because we will never again see our loved one in this world again. For believers in Jesus Christ, think of dying as similar to saying goodbye at the airport knowing you will not see your loved one for a while, but also knowing that someday, you will meet again. Celebrate that your born-again loved one is experiencing the best time of his or her life. And soon, like a blink of the eye from an eternal perspective, you will meet again in paradise. That will be a “wowsa moment!”

Linda: You have an amazing story, and I know people will be interested in reading more. Where can readers go to connect with you and buy a copy of Dying to Meet Jesus?

Randy: You can find the book at Amazon , Barnes & Noble , Christianbook.com, or your local book store.

Watch Randy Kay’s Interview on the Cornerstone Television Network

 

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To My Husband Who Is Now in Heaven

Beautiful sky with white fluffy clouds - looking into heaven

Photo by Jacob Mejicanos

I SEARCH THE HEAVENS, looking for what is unseen by human eyes, wondering where you are, what you’re doing, longing to touch you again, longing to hear your voice. The partition between heaven and earth is vast and is not to be traversed by the living. You are on one side of this vast chasm, I am on the other. I cannot reach you.

But God’s peace whispers in my heart, telling me what I already know, the truth of what we’ve lived for throughout these many years.

Your race is over. Your job is done.  You rest now in the unseen realms of eternity.  Somewhere up there beyond the clouds where the beginnings of this world took place, where creation began and blessed souls go to rest, you are in the arms of Jesus. You have finished the race. You have heard the words, “Well done good and faithful servant” Your job here on earth is done.

You have left this messed up, crazy world for the peace, the beauty and the glory of a heavenly world the rest of us dream of entering one day. For you there is no more waiting, no more wondering about what’s to come. No more are you seeing in a glass darkly for now you are face to face with the Savior. You are experiencing true reality while I still live in this mirage of what’s to come.

How I wish I could touch you, to hear your voice. You are far from my reach. But one day I will finish this race as well. I too will hear the call. One day I will no longer look longingly up in the skies, searching for what is unseen to mortal eyes for I will be in Heaven too.

But for now my job is not finished. The pages of a new year unfold before me – blank and unfamiliar. What will be written on them I don’t know. But as long as I have breath I know God has more for me to do. I walk into the days ahead alone, listening for God’s voice to lead me on.

Lord, let me hear your voice clearly. You are always before me. You are always with me. You are my refuge, my help in trouble. And I hold fast now to the encouraging promise you’ve given me in your Word. I turn to Jeremiah 29:11 where you said, “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”

I cling to that promise now, Lord, for this one thing I know. Your love holds both of us close. Although I remain here on earth and he is now in heaven, we are both safe with you. And I will see him again.

Precious in the sight of the Lord is the death of his faithful servants (Psalm 116:15).

 

Marv and Linda with the heavens opening up in the sky behind

Marv and Linda

TO MY SUBSCRIBERS: Yes, you may have seen this post before. Because of issues on my website, we had to backdate it to clean it up so a couple of old posts will reappear. But stick with me. New posts are coming soon.

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PRAYING PERSONALITIES: AUTHOR INTERVIEW WITH JANET HOLM MCHENRY

IS THERE A “right’ way to pray? Many of us have heard various prescriptions about how to make our prayer life more meaningful and effective. But when we try it out, it may seem complicated, awkward, or unnatural. Certain prayer approaches seem to work well for some people but not for others. But maybe, just maybe, that’s to be expected. In author Janet Holm McHenry’s new book, Praying Personalities, Finding Your Natural Prayer Style, Janet helps readers identify the more comfortable style of praying that fits their own personality. In our interview, Janet, who is the author of 26 books—six of them on prayer– gives you a glimpse of what you might discover in her new book.

Linda: Janet, I know you’re a woman of prayer and a leader in a number of prayer ministries. Tell us how prayer became a passion of yours. 

Janet: Some might say I literally fell into prayer. One day I walked out my back door and found myself in a crumpled heap because my knee had given way. So right there on the concrete I decided to do something about my health—that I would get up a little earlier the next day and walk, and while I walked, I would pray. There was a lot of my-ness in those initial prayers—my kids, my job as a high school English teacher, my marriage—but that all changed one day when I saw what I call a Single Daddy’s Ballet. That early, dark morning I watched as a man parked his pickup truck in front of the daycare center and sweep his little blanketed bundle over into the arms of the daycare worker waiting on the sidewalk. At that moment the little girl said, “Bye, Daddy. I love you!” And I knew right then that God had me out on the streets of my community less for the my-ness of my prayers but more for the needs around me. So I prayed for him and began to pray for whatever God put within my eyesight—my neighbors, the business people in my little town, and even commuters heading off to work in Reno.

Linda: How did prayerwalking grow into a passion and life’s study? 

Janet: It was a progression of understanding. First, I began to understand that wherever we are, there’s a need for prayer, so a praying-without-ceasing lifestyle is possible for us. And then a hunger developed in me to learn more about prayer, so I began combing God’s Word for biblical people’s prayers and any teachings on prayer—marking my Bible up with circled Ps. Then when my book PrayerWalk came out, I began speaking about prayer and prayerwalking.

Linda: You’ve also written many other books on prayer, including The Complete Guide to the Prayers of Jesus. But how did the idea come for your newest book, Praying Personalities: Finding Your Natural Prayer Style?

Janet: God laid a thought on my heart starting years ago. Because I was such a crazy advocate about prayerwalking, I encouraged others to pick up the practice when I spoke. But invariably a lovely woman would come to me afterwards and say, “But Janet, I can’t walk. What should I do?” And frankly, I’m not sure my answer was always adequate. Then a couple years ago I was speaking to a group of writers about how to incorporate more prayer into their lives—dozens and dozens of ideas—and I heard myself say, “Perhaps it has something to do with personality.” That was a mic-drop moment for me . . . especially when one of those writers said, “Janet, you should write a book about that.” So I began combing scripture again—looking for various ways biblical people prayed—looking at their language and Photo of author Janet Holm McHenryperspective and attitude.

Linda: And what did you discover? 

Janet: I found that those biblical folks prayed in many different ways. Moses argued with and complained at God. Job was a thinker and simply wanted to know the WHY? behind his pain. Hannah poured out her grief at not having a child in 1 Samuel 1, then a chapter later we see her beautiful poem of praise. David wrote half of the psalms—many of which were laments. Then we have those who fasted while they prayed—Ezra, Nehemiah, Esther—a very physical accompaniment with prayer. Paul wrote out summaries of his prayers to the various churches throughout the Mediterranean area. Seeing those differences in how people prayed provided the inspiration to consider various praying personalities and how each might pray in a natural way.

Linda: What kind of personalities did you find for prayer . . . and how might all of this give hope and guidance to us in our own prayer lives? 

Janet: I identify four different praying personalities—Problem Solver, Friend of God, Organized Pray-er (also called Lamenter), and Peace Seeker. And people can take the Praying Personalities Quiz I created (https://prayingpersonalities.com) to help them learn more about how they can develop a praying lifestyle that blends with their God-given personality. I simply want to help readers shed the guilt about what they think they’re doing or not doing. I used to feel I was a prayer failure! I didn’t have a prayer closet. I didn’t journal my prayers. I couldn’t keep up with an organized prayer notebook or other categorial system. But God led me to a praying style that helps me stay in touch with him all day long—one that has helped me overcome fears, depression, and feelings of inadequacy. And I simply want to share that hope with others too.

Linda: What process did you go through to identify the different praying personalities? Was it only by looking at the way people prayed in the Bible?

Janet: I started with examining how people prayed in the Bible, as well as the spiritual gifts and how they connect with prayer. Then I took a journalistic look at many of the personality theories to find the underlying questions that would determine the various personality types. I don’t advocate for any of those but simply state what they are: the Greek temperaments, Jung’s theories (even Elisabeth Elliott studied Jung), Myers-Briggs, Keirsey, 16 Personalities, Strengths Finder, Big 5, and the Enneagram. I also did studies of the generations to see how they prayed and discuss the learning styles also. It was a fascinating journey! And it may interest readers to know that the creators of these theories may not have created the questionnaires people take to identify their personality.

Linda: Is there any connection between the praying personalities and the personality profiles we’ve heard about in other places – like the sanguine, the choleric, the melancholy, and the phlegmatic?

Janet: Yes, readers will see a connection between the praying personalities and the temperaments. I am a certified LINKED Personalities trainer, so I worked mostly from that framework, which connects with the temperaments.

Linda: Could you give us an example of what these four different praying personalities look like? How would each of them pray differently?

Janet: Here’s a quick look at the Praying Personalities, which readers can discover by taking the Praying Personalities Quiz:

Problem Solver

  • Approaches prayer quickly from a problem-solving perspective.
  • Keeps prayers purposeful, succinct, and focused.
  • Prayer suggestions: go on a prayerwalk, pray while exercising, post reminders, fast.

Friend of God

  • Approaches prayer as relational time with God.
  • Loves praying with others.
  • Prayer suggestions: use worship music, round up the family to pray daily, speak to God out loud.

Organized Pray-er (Lamenter)

  • Sees prayer as an emotional, yet disciplined practice.
  • Needs to have a quiet place to pray away from the world.
  • Prayer suggestions: use a notebook system, keep a journal of prayers, create a prayer spot in your home.

Peace Seeker

  • Goes to prayer to restore personal peace.
  • Sees prayer time as an informal but steady practice.
  • Prayer suggestions: consider using prayer books to jumpstart a quiet time, use prayer apps, develop a simple prayer routine using an acronym such as ACTS (adoration, confession, thanksgiving, supplication)

Linda: Where can readers find out more about you and your ministry? 

Janet: They can find me at www.janetmchenry.com and my books here.

 

 

 

 

 

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NOW I SEE:: AUTHOR INTERVIEW WITH JANET PEREZ ECKLES

Blue Butterfly on cover of book, Now I SeeSOME PEOPLE ARE AN INSPIRATION. Not only have they overcome overwhelming challenges in their life, but their face radiates love and joy. Whenever you meet them, the warmth of their graciousness creates a sweet and welcoming encounter. This is Janet Perez Eckles, author of her new book, Now I See: How God’s Amazing Grace Transforms the Deepest Pain to Shining Joy What makes this book so amazing, the title so enticing, and her story so special is that Janet is blind.

I believe Janet’s story in Now I See and the following interview will inspire you to keep going when life plunges into chaos and God seems to have forgotten you. This woman is the real deal and her story an honest revelation of how God can step in and bring us from heartache to victory. Janet has been featured on the cover of Hispanic Woman Magazine, 700 Club, Desperate America (Good Morning America), Lifestyle Magazine and Focus on the Family I hope this interview encourages your heart and shows you a path to hope.

Linda: Janet, what did you do when God seemed to have forgotten you?

Janet: I was 30, ready to live my happily ever after. While I stayed home, caring for our three beautiful boys, hubby worked as a CPA and provided a comfortable life for us. . .

Until the day a retinal disease robbed my sight completely. In only 18 months, I went from an active mom, driving, shopping and preparing healthy meals for the family to a blind woman. Blindness was never in my plans.  I ate self-pity for lunch and horrifying fear accompanied me to bed at night.

Linda: But I know that wasn’t the only devastation that happened to you. There was more around the corner. Tell us what happened that caused your heartache to be compounded by rejection and more pain?

Janet: Hubby who was also 30 didn’t expect his life to turn out this way. He married a healthy woman, vibrant, full of life and counted on a lifetime of happiness.

But now he was married to a blind woman, restricted in so many ways.

His answer was to find that happiness somewhere else—in the arms of another woman.

Linda: Where did you initially turn when the world crumbled into despair for you?

Janet: While I was living in physical and emotional darkness, my spiritual darkness was the most devastating. As a good Catholic girl, I repeated memorized prayers, obeyed rituals and doctrines. But none of them soothed my pain or erased my sorrow.

In desperation, I searched for answers in doctors, herbal healers, new age practices. My reasoning was if my blindness was cured, my husband would love me again, my boys would have a “normal” mom and my life would be like before.

Linda: So what changed for you?

Janet: God stepped in. And he revealed his answer. One verse at a time. A series of events led me to a Christian church where I found the Bible verse that shook me enough to realize my mistake, to recognize the wrong order of my priorities and my incorrect way of measuring my security. It was Matthew 6:33, “Seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness and all these things will be given to you as well.”

Linda: How did God create changes for you? Headshot of Janet Perez Eckles

Janet: I had to change first. I vowed to change my focus. With diligence and commitment, I chose to look to God, His Word and His promises. The more I listened to His Word, the clearer it became that although I had blindness, blindness didn’t have me.

In Matthew 6:33 God states He would add things unto us if we sought Him first. I embraced that truth and He began to add beautiful transformation, sweet changes and emotional healing.

In Ephesians 3:20 scripture tells us that God, by his mighty power at work within us is able to do far more than we can think or imagine. Looking back now, do I think this is true? My answer is a resounding Yes! This was true in my physical darkness, in my marriage and my role as a mom. My husband saw the difference in me and after a series of events, He chose to come back. We became friends and God healed our marriage that lasted 42 years.

Linda: And now you’ve written a book that tells your story. How did this come about?

Janet: Why did I write my story? Statistics indicate that nearly every 11 minutes someone commits suicide. Life became too much. They’re overwhelmed by fear, anxiety, stress and despair.

But it doesn’t have to be that way. Christ Jesus promises the freedom from our anguish (Psalm 118:5). He turns our weaknesses into strength and contentment (2 Corinthians 12:10).

Some say I should be living a life of misery—blindness, the murder of my youngest son, the acquittal of the man responsible would speak of a life of tragedy. But my story is one of joy found within glorious victories.

Linda: Your story includes something else that many women are dealing with today. What message would you have for today’s woman who’s facing infidelity?

Janet: To hang on, hang on tight to God’s truth—your husband is not the source of your joy. He’s not the one who makes you whole. He’s not the one responsible for your security or happiness. When you realize that only Christ Jesus is the one to provide all for you, your confidence increases, your peace comes back and your wisdom dictates your reactions and responses.

Obeying God and embracing His promises will strengthen you enough to recognize God’s power at work on your husband.

Linda: Amen to that! That is a message I continually want to share with people as well. So with all the tragedy you’ve experienced in your life, what do you believe is the secret to living with joy?

Janet: Choosing gratitude, always. Every circumstance has something for which to be grateful. I thank God I can see with the eyes of my heart. I thank God that I will see my son again in heaven. I thank Him for showing me the way to forgive the man who killed him. And although my husband chose divorce after 42 years of marriage, I thank God for new beginnings, new chapters, and beautiful horizons!

Linda; Janet, you are such an inspiration. I know you well and the light shining in your face every time I see you is a testimony to the truth of everything you are sharing here. How do you think your new book, Now I See, will help people whose lives are in turmoil?

Janet: When the world is in turmoil, what happens to your peace amid that chaos? The headlines foretell gloom and doom and personal suffering threatens to break you, yet God’s promises speak of hope and glorious victory? How is this possible?

My book, Now I See will strengthen your resolve!

Tragedy cannot stop you. My transition from being a sighted mother to complete blindness at the pivotal age of 30 proves you can rise above pre-conceived limitations.

Grief cannot defeat you. My path to healing after the murder of my son proves that even loss is no match for God’s healing power.

Injustice cannot bring you down. When my son’s killer was acquitted, I discovered freedom still lives in forgiveness.

Relationships cannot stifle you. Despite the end of my decades-long marriage, God’s work in my life afterwards proves life still holds promises of joy with fresh, new horizons!

Now I See will stir the reader’s heart as they’re reminded that God is alive, that He sees their tears, hears their sobs, knows their fears, and is ready to calm their storms.

Linda: Where can readers find out more about you and your ministry?

Janet: People can learn more about me, my speaking, and my five books at www.janetperezeckles.com. Now I See is also available on Amazon.

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Separated But Healing

Does a Separation Mean the End of a Marriage or Can It Bring a New Beginning?

Man and woman standing close to each other on beach

Photo by Carly Rae Hobbins

FOR TWO YEARS their fighting had escalated, with tension and bitterness mounting month after month. When Jim and Kelly were together physically, the emotional and spiritual distance between them gnawed at their insides. Each fight ended with Jim walking out the door and slamming it behind him. But he always came back.

“I can’t stand this anymore!” Kelly cried as Jim headed toward the door one evening during another argument. “You get mad at me, then leave. We never resolve anything. When you come back, you act like nothing happened. Well!” she announced in exasperation. “It’s not going to happen this time.”

And it didn’t. This time when Jim left, he didn’t return. It was six weeks later in a counselor’s office before they saw each other again.

How Many Couples are Separated?

While divorce and infidelity visibly tear Christian marriages apart, marital separation maintains a silent and growing presence in our churches and communities where many couples languish silently in the shadows. Usually perceived as a precursor to divorce, separation is the awkward stepchild that no one knows how to handle. Yet the numbers are staggering. According to the U.S. Census Bureau, more than 2.5 million couples were separated in the year 2000. A report from a Gallup poll translates the numbers into astounding percentages: “If you have ever been married, the odds are 50-50 that you’ve either been divorced, separated or seriously close to separation. If you’re between the ages of 35 and 54, those odds increase to two out of three.”

Marriage counselor Dr. Willard F. Harley, author of His Needs, Her Needs, maintains that 15 to 20 percent of married couples end their lives permanently separated. Although these numbers reflect an enormous need, few churches know what to do for couples who separate.

“Everybody kept telling me to go to singles,” says Michelle Williams, who was separated from her husband for two years. “They kept talking about divorce recovery. And I kept telling people, including pastors, ‘But I’m not divorced. I’m not single. I’m married.’ But there was nothing for people who were separated.” The only place that offered any hope to someone who was separated was the singles program, and the hope you found there was in meeting singles who were divorced. So divorce became the only hope anybody offered.

Added to this lack of direction from churches is a general scarcity of resources for the separated in the larger marketplace. While a Christian bookstore might carry an entire shelf of books on divorce recovery, a customer is fortunate to find one book on surviving separation. The truth is, there is a huge gap in resources for married couples swimming through the murkiest of waters.

What Hope Exists for the Separated?

So the question lingering in the minds of most onlookers is, what real hope is there for couples once they separate? Isn’t it already too late? Isn’t the possibility of reconciliation extremely slim?

To the contrary: according to Howard Weinberg in the Journal of Marriage and the Family, one third of women who attempt to reconcile their marriages succeed in doing so. And somewhere in the fabric of the general population, 10 percent of currently married couples in the United States have experienced a separation and reconciliation at some point in their marriage. A report from the Department of Health and Human Services (DHHS) shows that almost half of those who separate do not divorce within the first year. Longer than three years, however, divorce is more likely.

Some suggest we view a separated couple as we would a friend diagnosed with cancer. With proper treatment, there is a good chance of recovery. Left alone, the marriage will probably not make it.

What people need is hope. “If you only have one friend who says, ‘I think you guys are going to make it,’ even one friend giving you that hope, it is light in a dark place,” says Dwight Bain, a licensed mental health counselor and certified family law mediator.
A couple who is left alone through a separation “is the saddest thing ever,” says Williams, who with husband Joe founded “Marriage 911 God’s Way,” a phenomenally successful program for those who are separated. “When you’re separated and all alone, without the right kind of counsel, your marriage will end in divorce.”

Marriage 911 God’s Way has reached into 325 churches both nationally and internationally over the past twenty years. According to the Williamses, the program achieves an enormous success rate for couples who go through it together and even when just one partner participates many marriages are restored. “At least 50 percent of the time,” they report, “when a couple separates, only one person is interested in working on it.” Consequently, one advantage of Marriage 911 God’s Way is one member of the couple can do it alone, and they can begin immediately. The program stresses having an accountability partner of the same gender while working through a workbook. Churches can work with one or both members of the couple individually, or hold classes where men and women sit on different sides of the room so that those without a willing spouse are comfortable attending.

A few books on separation have begun to offer hope as well. Two books by Linda W. Rooks, Broken Heart on Hold, Surviving Separation, and Fighting for Your Marriage While Separated, have helped many make it through this difficult time. Marriage Off Course by Clint and Penny Bragg and Hope for the Separated by Gary Chapman also focus on helping those who are separated.

Bridging the Gap Between Separation and Restoration

How then do we help couples through the mire of marital breakdown?

Steven W. Harley, M.S., son of Dr. Willard F. Harley and a specialist in infidelity counseling, sums up the reason for divorce in one word. “When it’s all boiled down,” he says, “the fact is that divorce is caused by hopelessness.”

Roger Shepherd, a licensed mental health counselor specializing in marriage and family counseling, agrees. “It is hopelessness that things will ever be different, that we will ever find what we’re looking for in this relationship. Then what feeds the hopelessness [in a separation] is you become more and more isolated, more and more alone. You find fewer and fewer places where you feel comfortable.”

“And if the only place you can find hope is in a singles class,” adds Michelle Williams, “where you’re meeting people who tell you, ‘Look, you’re going to be OK. I’m divorced, and I’m OK,’ then [separated people] begin to see their only hope in the form of a good divorce. People get separated out of frustration; the divorce becomes final out of hopelessness.”

And that’s where friends, pastors and counselors fit in.

Friends help when “they’re showing up and taking an interest,” says Shepherd. “I don’t mean coming in and telling them what to do, but coming in and giving them a safe place to be honest. That’s why I think counseling is so important; it’s a safe place. What bothers me,” Shepherd continues, “is that when people don’t know what to do, they don’t get involved. It’s just like, even when people are grieving the loss of a loved one, people don’t know what to do, so they tend to stay distant. That is the problem.”

“Give your friend hope,” advise the Williamses. “They’re in a situation where they’re feeling lonely and embarrassed, maybe embarrassed to go to church without their spouse. So you want to create an atmosphere for them where they can grow closer to the Lord. Go with them to church or Bible study or a retreat.”

Counselors agree this is not the time to arrange a date for them. Remember they are separated, not divorced. The worst thing you can do, says Dr. Jim Talley, is tell a separated person to “get on with your life.”

Probably the best news for separated couples is the emergence of couple mentoring programs that are turning marriages around in incredible numbers.

Retrouvaille, now in its 45th year, is “an extraordinary program that works miracles!” reports one couple whose marriage was successfully restored after a three-year separation. “It is so well planned, it enables your hearts to really connect again. I would recommend, before any couple divorces, they go to Retrouvaille. It will save their marriage.”

In fact, studies show a 75 percent success rate for couples who complete the program, even though at least a third are separated when they come to the weekend. “Some are even divorced,” report Roger and Pat Bate, who were once the international coordinating couple. Retrouvaille consists of a weekend and six follow-up sessions led by peer couples whose own marriages have recovered from serious trauma. “The tools we give the couple provide them the opportunity to develop real closeness and intimacy,” says Bate, “a closeness that allows them to deal with issues from a posture of combined strength, couple strength. All of a sudden they find they’re successful in attacking the issues because they’re attacking them together rather than attacking one another.”

Separations That Heal

What may seem surprising is that many counselors actually recommend a short separation as part of the healing process for marriages in distress. Bain cites 1 Corinthians 7:5, which allows for a couple to be apart for the purpose of prayer and fasting, as a basis for a separation of up to 40 days. He derives the time period from the 40 days that Jesus fasted and prayed. “Longer than that,” the counselor says, “and I want to see extreme structure” so it does not become a precursor to divorce. For couples who need a longer separation, he drafts a contract between the husband and wife, outlining how money will be handled, how often they will see each other, and parenting responsibilities. “Separation is for the purpose of restoration, not a prelude to divorce,” Bain says. “It is about building a new relationship between the two parties. It’s a time for each of them to deal with the hardness in their hearts so they can save the marriage.” Bain typically structures a separation from one to six months.

Perhaps the biggest question is, who makes it through a separation and who doesn’t? A disturbing DHHS statistic shows separations more likely turn into divorce for Protestant Christians than for Catholics and non-Christians. Why? Bain suggests a serious reason many Christian couples fail to reconcile is that “they’re embarrassed to seek help. Couples need to break through that embarrassment and realize healthy people seek help. Even one person can get help to save a relationship from a relationship cancer.”

And for those who do get help, what is the secret of restoring a torn-apart marriage? “The number one thing,” say the Williamses, “is that they learn to take their focus off their spouse to meet all their needs. They get their focus on God, get the log out of their own eye, begin working on their own individual issues, and wait to see what God does.”

For those who reconcile then, what is the prognosis? Are they happy, or do they just endure each other?

Bain does not hesitate. “I think the ones who truly have let God change their hearts are the happiest people on the planet. Because now they have the marriage of their dreams. They just don’t have the baggage of a broken and failed marriage.”

This blog post is a revised and updated version of an article that first appeared in Light and Life Magazine, May/June 2003

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The Hope of TODAY

img002IN MY UPSTAIRS HALL, family pictures line the wall, photos tracing our genealogies into past decades. I stand looking at a picture of what I believe to be my great-great-great grandmother. I try to recall her name, but must refer to the big family Bible to discover it. In another photograph of my husband’s ancestors, a large family grouping of young and old, stand around the matriarch seated in front.  None are smiling, but on that day they were alive with hopes, disappointments, and ambitions, with the future stretching out ahead of them.

Now their future has become our past, and I look upon their likenesses and wonder what their lives were like.  I wonder if they achieved their dreams.

They lived and breathed from year to year in a world that was palpable and real . . . in an expanse of time that was THEIR time. They probably felt it would go on forever. It was their generation.

But eventually their lives ended and a new generation took its place.

And now it’s our turn.

And it’s our time. But like the generations before us, our lives have a beginning and an end.

Our Turn

When we are in our prime, it seems we will live forever.  There is so much life to live and so much to achieve.  Dreams rise up before us and lure us on, beckoning us to follow into the future. But time marches on and before long, we wake up to find our bodies not functioning as well and realize we are getting older.  Whether or not we managed to surmount our obstacles and attain our dreams, another generation is coming along behind, dreaming new dreams and eager to conquer fresh frontiers.

“All people are like grass,” says Isaiah,
“and all their faithfulness is like the flowers of the field.
The grass withers and the flowers fall,
but the word of our God endures forever.”  (Isaiah 40: 7-8)

In this window of eternity we call our lives, each of our days is a gift from God, each brand new, beginning with a sunrise unlike the one before.  And as we live today to the fullest, not in fleeting pleasures or empty and futile worry, but by submitting our lives to God’s bigger picture, TODAY can become a jewel in our crown.

The Happy and the Difficult

Regardless of whether these are happy or difficult days, each one is a gift that God has given to grow us and enlarge our vision of Who He is. Sometimes we will praise Him in the happy, glorious days of success and fulfillment, and other times we will seek him from the valleys of despair, but whichever place we find ourselves on any particular day, it is part of the journey of our life God gives us for TODAY. And it’s a gift.

I love how Sarah Young expresses God’s heart in Jesus Calling: “Some of My children find Me more readily during dark times, when difficulties force them to depend on Me. Others feel close to Me when their lives are filled with good things. They respond with thanksgiving and praise, thus opening wide the door to My presence. I know precisely what you need to draw nearer to Me. Go through each day looking for what I have prepared for you. Accept every event as My hand-tailored provision for your needs.”

And therein lies our hope. Our challenge is to seek God each and every day as a Gift from Him and let Him use our time on earth to the utmost of our highest calling.

Perhaps one day in the future a great, great grandchild will find my picture in a photo album or on the wall and not recall my name. But even though our names may eventually be forgotten on this earth, our hope transcends this world of withering grass.  For on some future day when rainbow colors streak across the sky and God’s music fills our soul, we as God’s children will find our names remembered and recorded in a living book, the Lamb’s book of life. At that time we will be taken to an eternal place of beauty where our deeds become lyrics for a song. Then we will join with all those other generations to celebrate God’s bigger story, the story we can choose to be a part of TODAY as we make choices now to live the part He created us to play.

And one day“the glory of the Lord will be revealed, and all people will see it together. For the mouth of the Lord has spoken.”  (Isaiah 40:5)

If your hope for today is diminished because of heartache in your marriage, let God speak hope and encouragement to you through my book, Broken Heart on Hold. It’s a book to heal the brokenhearted.

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Choices in Our Challenges – Interview with Author Lori Vober

The word Choices above the horizon with sun risingLIFE HAS A WAY of throwing surprises in our path, and some of them aren’t what we’d hoped for. Life can be challenging.  How we face those challenges, however, can make all the difference in what our futures will look like. In Lori Vober’s new book, CHOICES: When You Are Faced with a Challenge, What Choice Will You Make? Lori writes about making choices in difficult circumstances based on her own experience, beginning at the age of twenty-nine when she suffered an intracerebral hemorrhagic stroke, which eventually resulted in her having epilepsy.

Linda: What prompted you to share your story by writing CHOICES: When You Are Faced with a Challenge, What Choice Will You Make?

Lori: While leading my ladies through Bible Study on ZOOM during the fall 2020 and winter 2021, I heard that small voice that reminded me I was saved from a devastating stroke for a reason and had a story to share. I clearly felt God prompt me to start writing.

And I knew he was right. I am a walking miracle, and God wanted me to share my story and my journey of faith and perseverance to encourage others. I believe God has a plan for each of us, but leaves it up to us and our own free will whether we will have faith in Him and follow Him.

That is why I titled the book “CHOICES: When You Are Faced with a Challenge, What Choice Will You Make?  Life is about our choices! Even with my difficulties, I was able to become an adoptive Mom of a sibling group of three. My husband Dainis and I have been happily married for twenty-four years and reside in Goodyear, Arizona.

Linda: What are some of the challenges you have experienced?

Lori: Infertility, stroke, epilepsy from the stroke, job loss and a cross country move six months after my stroke, recovery, adoption, parenting, homeschooling, and a cancer diagnosis just as my book was launching

Linda: Why did you title your book Choices?

Lori: Life rarely turns out exactly as you pictured it, and we all face challenges along the way. When we face these challenges, we have a choice how we react to our circumstances. While God always has a plan, He leaves it up to us to decide whether we follow His plan or not. Life is about choices.

Linda: What main message do you want your readers to grasp from reading your book?

Lori: I believe God has a unique plan for each of us, but it is up to us whether we choose to follow Him and what our attitude is in our different circumstances. I have chosen to persevere with a positive attitude and hope the way I have handled my challenges can be a hope and an encouragement to others.

Linda: Do you have a favorite Bible verse you tend to lean on to help you in this?

Lori: Yes, Jeremiah 29:11-13 11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. 12 Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. 13 You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.

Linda: After going through the medical challenges of the stroke and epilepsy, what made you and your husband decide to pursue an international adoption?

Lori: We had always supported kids through Compassion International and had been trying to start our own family when the stroke happened. We still had the heart to be parents but were concerned with my epilepsy and disability. Because of our love for international children from Compassion, we chose international adoption.

Linda: How old were your kids when you adopted them?

Lori: They were six, eight, and ten years old. One boy and two girls

Linda: How long have you been married and how has your husband reacted to your medical challenges? Was this difficult for him?

Lori: Dainis and I celebrated 24 years of marriage on March 28th. We were just shy of our fifth wedding anniversary when I had my massive stroke.

I always say now that I moved to Minnesota for my career but God moved me to Minnesota to match me with my Godly mate. I met Dainis at church, a month after his mom had passed away. She had battled hormonal cancer for sixteen years. We did not know at the time what our future would hold but God did. He knew I would need a mate by my side that could handle my medical challenges and Dainis was already equipped from watching his dad take care of his mom while he was growing up. He is loving, patient, compassionate, and has stood by his weddng vows.

Linda: How have you handled the stressful situations and typical parenting challenges, along with the medical challenges and life challenges, and still kept your marriage strong?

Lori: It is not always easy and like any couple, we have our disagreements. However, we respect each other and put our love and commitment for each other above any fight. We also have recognized how different we are and what helps to fulfill our needs. I am a people person and need emotional support. Dainis is an introvert and very black and white. Many things, like the challenges with the kids can’t be fixed. The solution was a girlfriend mentor for me that I could just talk to. It is important to recognize yor differences and work together.

Linda: What have you learned through balancing your own challenges, your kids and their challenges, and your marriage, that you would want to share with a newly married couple?

Lori: Put God first and make church a routine and a priority. Don’t let the kids ever come in between you and always stand united as a team. Always keep date nights and celebrate your anniversary together. One day the kids will leave and you will be full circle again. Make sure you still know that person you married when that time comes because forever is a long time.

Linda: What are your next steps in your writing journey?

Lori: I am finishing my second book now, which is a 31-day devotional based off my story and the stories of other authors displaying perseverance, a positive attitude, determination, etc. I am also a contributing author to several compilations coming out in fall 2022, spring 2023, and winter 2024. My goal is to continue sharing my story and experiences as a speaker also.

Linda: Did you always have a desire to write and publish a book?

Lori: No, my background is in marketing and sales. Writing my story started out as an act of obedience but then turned into a new passion, a time of healing, and a new purpose. This journey has brought me new friends, support, connections and taught me not to put God in a box but to always be ready and available to serve Him in the opportunities He presents to us. My newest favorite Bible verse is now Proverbs 19:21 NIV  21 Many are the plans in a person’s heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails.

Linda: In addition to writing and speaking, I understand God has encouraged you to branch out to use your circumstances in other ways to help people as well. Can you share some of that with us?

Lori: I am currently volunteering several days a week at the Cancer Treatment Centers of America, where I had my hysterectomy this April after receiving a diagnosis of ovarian cancer. It was discovered after surgery to be a benign cyst, and I am cancer free but have the blessing of supporting and connecting with patients and conducting a creative writing class to share my story, writing prompts, and how my writing has helped me in my journey. I am also speaking at several stroke survivor support groups and participating in functions with the Brain Injury Alliance Group. I believe mentorship and supporting others is important when you have been together on that same journey.

Linda: Where can readers find a copy of CHOICES: When You Are Faced with a Challenge, What Choice Will You Make? And how can they best connect with you?

Lori:  They can find my book at www.amazon.com, www.barnesandnoble.com, www.christianbook.com, and www.walmart.com. They can also reach out to me for a signed copy through my website at www.lorivober.comThey can me at lorivober@gmail.com.

 

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They Don’t Tell: Child Abuse: A Mother’s Perspective – Author Interview with Lisa Gray

A yellow bookcover with the picture of a mother and childWITH WHAT’S BEEN happening in our country this last week, our hearts and minds have been taken captive by thoughts about our children and the horror some of them had to endure at the hands of a heartless and cruel individual. But our hearts also go out to the parents and the pain they’ve experienced as they try to comprehend the incomprehensible awfulness of what happened.

There’s another horror story some children endure and other mothers who are gripped with pain in the discovery. In Lisa Gray’s book, They Don’t Tell: Child Abuse: A Mother’s Perspective, Lisa broaches a subject that is difficult to talk about, but she shares it from the vulnerability of a mother who has experienced the pain but discovered the healing.

Linda: Lisa, I know this is a dark subject, but I believe you’ve told me the book is not about darkness, but about hope. Please tell me what you mean by that.

Lisa: I believe we need to always be reminded that even in the darkest of situations, there’s always hope because we serve the God of Hope!

Linda: So now that we’ve given away the ending – that there is hope—tell me what They Don’t Tell: Child Abuse: A Mother’s Perspective is about.

Lisa: A mother’s heart, a heart that has been broken, shattered, stomped upon, torn apart and left in utter disarray.  The revelation of knowing your child has been violated by those who were “supposed” to care and nurture them is unlike any other pain I’ve ever experienced in my life!

Linda: So please tell us why you decided to write They Don’t Tell: Child Abuse: A Mother’s Perspective

Lisa: I felt the Lord wanted me to share my story, my journey back to health and wholeness for myself and my family. The book is meant for those who like me felt so alone, so isolated AND felt guilt and shame!  I was supposed to provide safety, protection, and security.  That was not my daughter’s experience.

I have to say I listen to Bishop T D Jakes a great deal, and I remember thinking to myself, “Why does he always talk about sexual abuse?”  I know it happens.  My head is not buried in the sand, but does it really happen THAT much?  I mean does it happen enough to warrant him continually talking about it ad nausea?  Well give me a chance now, and boy oh boy have I changed my story!  Today I say. “Bishop preach!”  Linda, today I understand that while I was thinking those very thoughts, I never knew that sexual abuse was happening in my own house, under my own roof, to My own daughter.

Linda: That’s heartbreaking, Lisa. Tell us how you were able to deal with it?

Lisa: Well let me assure you, it was not easy.  It was a process that took time, prayer, and—if I can be honest—I’ll admit there was some self-pity, Lisa Gray, authorsome self-loathing, and many questions of why and how could this happen.  I’m a good person, I love the Lord, this is not supposed to happen to Christians like us.

Linda, many times I had to fight the enemy in my mind…which is why the Lord tells us in scripture to take every thought captive…not to just sit in it, not to soak in the negativity but to fight.

There were days where I would fight with worship music, there were days when I would fight with scripture, there were days when I would fight with scriptures.  I would put scriptures all around me to remind me that God was faithful.  There were sticky notes on my refrigerator, my bathroom mirror, my car review mirror…because the assault against my mind was unrelenting, but only for a season.

I can say my family and my church family rallied around us also and supported us greatly through that season.

Because God is the same yesterday, today and forever we can stand on his word, and he will and does bring us through!

Linda: Lisa, that is such a powerful reminder of how to persevere through difficult times. Yes, God is faithful! What do you want readers to take away from your message in your book, They Don’t Tell?

Lisa: Linda if there’s anything I’d like for your listeners and my readers to know, I want to remind them that the enemy comes after our faith, and our resolve to judge the Lord faithful…even in the storms of life.  He really wanted me and others to walk away from the Lord and curse the Lord because of the trial and the storm.  I would never do that.  I understood that our LORD is faithful through every trial, every storm. And I understood my children, my family, my church family, even the community was looking to see how I was going to handle this.  Instead of running from God and to alcohol, drugs, gambling, shopping, food, whatever vice we use as false refuge, when the Bible clearly tells us the Lord is our strong tower, we run to him and are safe!

Run to him, Run to the throne of grace and plead for Mercy, judge the Lord faithful throughout all the circumstances. His mercies are new every morning, for you and your family!

Linda: After this terrible incident of child abuse happened to you and your daughter, where are you now in life? And how is your daughter?

Lisa Gray and DaughterLisa: This is myself and my daughter Nikki now—after the storm, after the hurt, after the trauma, after the healing, and after restoration has taken place in both of our lives.  We are better, stronger, more resilient, and determined that what we went through others can go through as well and survive!​  We walked this out together, and now are compelled to open up our lives and hold our heads high because like any of you who’ve experienced this—we have nothing to be ashamed of!

Linda: Has this experience of dealing with child abuse taught you anything new or transformed your thinking in any way?

Lisa: The Lord has taken me into a new area for me, one I never truly understood, but now I do.  Generational curses.  Although we don’t realize it, we actually have understood them along certain areas of our lives because every time we go into a medical facility they want a breakdown of our medical history.  Well, Linda, hidden in those familiar medical patterns are the generational iniquities that have been repeating throughout our generations.  Now I work with individuals and families to uncover, and uproot those patterns—of cancer, heart disease, brokenness, sexual immorality, etc.  My website is :  Bloodline Curse Breakers.com.  I can also be reached through email at kidsdonttell@gmail.com or by phone at 1 (202) 810-5687.

Linda: Do you have any final thoughts to share:

Lisa: Yes, this was a HORRIBLE situation, but when we give it to God, trust him, lean on and into him through the process, he will turn it around for our good.  His word cannot return to him void, and what the enemy meant for bad, God turns it around for our good.

Now I get the opportunity and the honor to share God’s word and his redemption all around the world.  My daughter is well and flourishing, and my ex-husband is serving a prison term of 15-40 years for the violation.

Linda: Where can people find your book, They Don’t Tell: Child Abuse: A Mother’s Perspective?

Lisa: The best place to find the book is on Amazon or they can reach out to me at the above email. You can also find out more about me and my book on my website at bloodline cursebreaker – Author counsellor speaker

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You Are Beautiful

Beautiful sunset

Photo by Al Quino

SITTING ON THE DOCK of a lake one late afternoon, I was captivated by the sight of an exquisite sunset.  The colors melting into one another to illuminate the sky stirred the lonely places of my heart. My husband had left several months earlier. Now we were separated, and I had no idea whether we would ever be together again.

Although clouds had enveloped my soul moments before because of my circumstances, I now found myself praising God, thanking Him for this beautiful sunset and the opportunity for me to see it.

“But what if you didn’t see it?  Would the sunset still be as beautiful?” I felt the Spirit of God asking me.

“Yes,” I said, “it would still be just as beautiful.”

“And what if no one saw this sunset, would it still be just as beautiful?” “Yes,” I said, “it would still be just as beautiful.”

“And if I make a person beautiful, but no one loves them, are they still beautiful?”  God’s Spirit inquired.

“Yes” I said, “they would still be beautiful.”

“I made you beautiful…and I love you.  So if your husband does not see your beauty, does that mean you are not beautiful?  If he does not love you, does that mean you are not loved?”

“No,” I whispered.  “I do not need anyone else to love me or think I am beautiful.  You are enough, Lord. If you love me and think I am beautiful, then that is enough.’

“I loved you enough to die for you,” He said.  “I created you to be the unique person that you are.  You are beautiful.  I love you.”

At that I bowed my head in praise and worshipped Him in love.

Excerpted from Broken Heart on Hold, Surviving Separation by Linda W. Rooks

If you need more hope and encouragement, you may find the hope you’re looking for in my book, Broken Heart on Hold, Surviving Separation. When facing the turmoil of a troublesome marriage, sometimes what we need most is a touch from God’s Spirit on our life so we can become stronger and more secure as we face each day.

 

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Unexpected

CaladiumsI love Caladiums and how they spring up as a sweet surprise in our Florida gardens each year as the winter months ease into the warmth of spring and summer.

Completely out of sight in winter, the bulbs linger beneath the ground, waiting for the right time to remind us of their presence by suddenly appearing to grace us with their colorful display of foliage.

How like God to pop them into the mundaneness of our circumstances as a joyful reminder of the little surprises He has in store for us when we don’t expect them. And a sweet reminder that His beauty is always with us even when we don’t see it –even when we’re unaware of it—or perhaps, more accurately, when we’ve “forgotten” all about it as with the Caladiums that disappear completely from sight in autumn only to flourish months later with such beauty.

The Caladiums in my garden remind me too that we can often find hope in unexpected places and at unexpected times when we trust God for the outcome of our situations. Life’s problems can become so all-consuming, the details of the everyday so urgent, that we forget there is a loving, all powerful God waiting to pour blessings into our lives.

We don’t see it. And His invisibility makes us forget. Until one moment the unexpected beauty of His love and grace or an unexpected answer to prayer pushes through our muddled circumstances and we remember He’s been there all along.

The mystery God has woven through His creation always points us back to Him when we open our eyes and hearts to the “more” of what waits for us outside the limited scope of our present reality.

“No eye has seen, no ear has heard,
and no mind has imagined
what God has prepared
for those who love him” (1 Corinthians 2:9).

                  I am with you always, even to the end of the age” (Matthew 28:20).

 

If you are in a marriage where the problems seem all consuming, my book, Broken Heart on Hold, can point you to a place of hope where you can find strength for this difficult season.

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