God Shift – A Divine Move From Disruption To Destiny

Book cover for A God ShiftGuest Post By Shayna Rattler

Do you find yourself asking, “what the heck is going on in my life”? Perhaps you are feeling stuck, no longer passionate, or that you’re on the wrong path? Life is full of setbacks, disappointments, and uncertainties. God uses these unexpected circumstances as a means to get your attention and draw you into greater possibility, but most believers are ill-equipped to properly understand or respond appropriately to the disruptions God allows to happen in their life. They also fall into the trap of solely relying on the prayers of others or waiting idly on God for their situation to change, when in fact they have the authority to partner with God to create the life He promises and they desire.

If you are having a tough time overcoming the unexpected circumstances God has thrown your way, you may be in the need of a God shift! A God shift is when a disruption in your life collides with God’s purpose and moves you into new dimensions of possibility. It is a process you go through in order to ultimately get to where God needs you most, and become the person He needs you to be, in order to accomplish what He needs you to do. God is trying to get your attention and invite you into greater possibility. Why? Because another level of destiny awaits you and it’s time to be more, do more, and have more.

So you’re ready to shift, now what?

Here is what it takes to make SHIFT happen…

  1. Release. Perhaps the most difficult part of shifting is letting go. Some of the most common things we need to release are the life we planned, how we planned it, and who and what we planned it to include. Be more open to what God desires.
  1. Become. Your shifting season is going to be more about being than doing. Consider it a process of discovery or an opportunity to reinvent yourself. Focus on amplifying your strengths and shedding your weaknesses.
  1. Move In order to shift successfully, you have to be committed to taking action, even if your steps are laced with uncertainty. It’s time to discover your new possibilities. What are the steps you can take NOW to get you closer to your next? Not sure? Get help so you don’t stay stuck.
  1. Avoid Seeking Clarity and Confirmation. When God instructs you to take a step and you continue to look for more clarity and confirmation it is an indication you are full of doubt. Doubt and destiny are polar opposites so begin to see opportunities as confirmation that God has answered your prayers.
  1. Use Your God-Given Authority. When Jesus died He left you with the exact power He had and left with you the ability to use that power in your day to day life. It’s your job to uncover the authority you have as a believer to manifest your desires into existence just as Christ did. In life, especially when you are faced with obstacles, it is important that you have a deep understanding of your identity. The good news is that if you are a believer in God you have power that can overcome anything. The most powerful tool of authority you have access to is your words! Every word you speak MUST be in alignment with what you are praying for. If you find yourself speaking contrary to what you’re praying for, immediately confess that you do not agree with what you spoke and replace the previous declaration with one that proclaims what you desire. Now that you’ve discovered the foundational rules of shifting I hope you see the disruptions in your life from a different perspective. Something that HAD to happen. Fortunately, it happened for you and not to you. What is important now is to continue to dream and commit to where God is taking you. Your life is an incubator for miracles! Keep trusting and keep going.

 

Shayna Rattler is the author of A God Shift and Founder of A God Shift Movement. She is a minister, speaker, author, podcaster, and TV show host. For more tips to grow your faith, he invites you to download the FREE guide When God Says Shift at www.GodSaysShift.com.

 

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Delays and Waiting

clock ticking away while waitingIT’S AMAZING TO ME how often God uses delays and waiting to bring blessing to those He loves in the stories of the Bible. But I’m struck by the fact that God also often uses these delays to test the hearts of those in waiting to see if they are worthy of the blessing he is about to bestow.

Although God promised Abraham to make him the father of nations, God waited to fulfill that promise until Abraham was very old, and during these years of waiting, God tested His faith before blessing him with a son.

Sarah, his wife, also received this promise. Although she believed God in theory, she doubted His ability to fulfill it for her personally because she was past the age of bearing children. She decided to “help” God by coming up with an alternative solution. But by taking things in her own hands, she caused huge complications not only in her own family, but in the family of nations to this very day.

Elizabeth, the mother of John the Baptist, and her husband Zechariah, were righteous in God’s sight, and yet God did not bless them with a child until they were well along in years. But because of their faith, the child they bore in their old age was especially chosen by God to point people to Jesus, and today they continue to be some of the heroes of our faith.

Hannah was denied a child while the rival wife of her husband, who had children, lorded it over her. Year after year Hannah suffered the indignity of infertility, but when she wept before God in the temple and sought His blessings, God heard her prayer. After many years of barrenness, she gave birth to the prophet Samuel, whom she dedicated to the Lord with a humble and thankful heart. Then God blessed her with three more sons and two daughters, and when Samuel grew up, he provided godly guidance to Israel for many years.

After Saul became king, God had Samuel test Saul’s obedience and faith by asking Saul to wait for Samuel to come to sacrifice to the Lord before he went out to battle. But Saul didn’t wait. He took matters into his own hands, and because of his refusal to wait for God’s timing, he lost what would have been for him a kingdom for all time, and a nation was plunged into many years of turmoil.

God made David wait also. Even though God anointed him and promised him the kingship. David spent many years running for his life as enemies pursued him with the intent to kill. Hear David’s agony as he cries out in Psalms 22:1-2, “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me? Why are you so far from saving me, so far from the words of my groaning? O my God, I cry by day, but You do not answer.” It took many years before David was crowned king, but in the waiting David became strong. His heart grew more closely knit to the Lord, and when he took the throne as king, he was a man after God’s own heart.

Often we must wait as well.

When things seem to be going downhill, when our nation seems to be falling apart, perhaps we are simply in a period of waiting. God may be testing our hearts to see if his people will humbly follow him or if we will rise up in arrogance to do things our own way.

2 Chronicles 7:14 says, “If my people, which are called my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways, then will I hear from heaven and forgive their sin, and will heal their land.”

When the problems in our country and our world begin to weigh us down, perhaps it is time to examine our own hearts as well as our personal lives. Are we waiting in faith for God to meet our needs? Or taking things into our own hands? Each of the examples above tells a story of personal anguish and longing, but the faith or lack of faith of these individuals impacted not only their own lives but the lives of generations to follow. Nations were affected.

We often see our lives and our problems in isolation. But each of us play a part in a larger story. God tells us in 2 Chronicles that He will heal our land if we humble ourselves, pray, seek His face, and turn from our wicked ways. He is not only speaking to us corporately, but individually as well. The way we exercise faith in our daily circumstances affects much more than we realize.

When trouble comes, do we humble ourselves and wait on God?

How would our story read in the annals of faith?

Those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles, they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.” Isaiah 40:31

In my new book – a suspense thriller called Pieces of Dark, Pieces of Light,- the suspense, the drama, and even the very dark pieces all come together with the light of God’s truth to create beauty. If you’re ready to take a break and enjoy a little fiction, check it out.

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Finding True Love on Valentine’s Day

FEBRUARY IS HERE. And so are thoughts about Valentine’s Day. Hearts and flowers decorate the stores. Heart-shaped boxes of chocolates greet us on our way in to shop for groceries. It’s the month of love.

It’s a happy time for some people. But for others, the coming of Valentine’s Day just magnifies the pain tugging at their hearts.  Focusing on “love” is the last thing they want to do.A purple heart says "love me" and pink flowers are nearby

If this is you, and your heart sinks with melancholy when you think about Valentine’s Day, turn your heart in another direction, where true love is encased in a reality beyond what you have ever known or will ever know in this world. If you do, the sorrow and disillusionment of Valentine’s Day may actually open your eyes to the most loving relationship you have ever known. Yes, you might find hope in an unexpected place.

If we look up instead of inward, if we chase away those fears of rejection by earthly lovers and instead embrace the true lover of our souls, we will rise above the failures and pain and begin to understand the true nature of love.

The author of love stands ready to enfold us in His arms. He is always ready to give and receive our love. And he will never leave us. His is the pure, unconditional love we long for, but will never find on this earth among fallen humankind.

Who else would pursue us through eternity to give us life by subjecting Himself to death?  Who else is so intent on giving us joy that He would take intense sorrow and pain upon Himself so we can enter into the wonder of an eternity with Him?  And our eternity can begin now in a loving relationship with Him as we trust Him and lean on Him and take His word into our hearts.

Paul pleads for us to understand this in his book to the Ephesians when he says:  “I pray that Christ will be more and more at home in your hearts, living within you as you trust in him. May your roots go down deep into the soil of God’s marvelous love; and may you be able to feel and understand, as all God’s children should, how long, how wide, how deep, and how high his love really is; and to experience this love for yourselves, though it is so great that you will never see the end of it or fully know or understand it. And so at last you will be filled up with God himself.”  (Ephesians 3:17-19 Living Bible)

Cling now to these words. Fill your minds up with this incredible truth. Open your heart to Paul’s prayer and accept God’s wondrous love that is meant for YOU.

“How long, how wide, how deep, and how high his love really is!”  How amazing!  How incomprehensible. Can you wrap your minds around it?  This Valentine’s Day meditate on these words.  Let God’s love embrace you. As I’ve heard my grandchildren say, It may be “the best Valentine’s Day ever.”

But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us. (Romans 5:8)

If your heart is hurting and Valentine’s Day just seems like one more painful thing to take in, the heart-warming words of my book, Broken Heart on Hold, may bring you the peace and loving God-connection you’re looking for.

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Getting to Know God’s Heart—Interview with Patty Mason

Book cover for Gettng to Know God's HeartIN ANY LOVE RELATIONSHIP, getting to know the other person’s heart draws us closer to them and creates a more intimate relationship. The same is true of God. If we know His heart, we will better understand what is important to Him. But how do we get to know God’s heart? In Getting to Know God’s Heart, author Patty Mason has created a beautiful Bible study that presents a seamless picture of God’s love as she weaves her own spiritual pilgrimage into the scriptural story of our heavenly Father’s love for us. Her Bible study invites the reader to personally experience God’s love in a more intimate way. Because of Patty’s warm and transparent style, this encouraging book is a resource I will regularly recommend to those going through troubling times.

Linda: Patty, what prompted you to begin seeking God’s heart?

 Patty: While battling depression, I watched a friend, who had more problems than I could count, go through life with joy. “How did she do it?” I wondered. How could she exhibit joy when she was left to care for her sick mother while her workaholic husband left her to raise four children on her own.

In comparison, my life was grand, yet she had peace and joy. God was her Rock, the one she clung to, and she spoke of Him with passion. God was not my favorite topic of conversation.

I could think of twenty other topics I would rather discuss. So I resisted, even though her enthusiasm for God caught my attention.

Linda: If her enthusiasm caught your attention, why did you hesitate? 

 Patty: Many things can keep us from wanting to know God.  I hesitated because I associated God with church and religion. To me church felt fickle and phony—reserved for the well-mannered, well-respected, and well-dressed. The church was not filled with people who knew how to love well, so I concluded God would treat me the way they did.

It’s sad to me now how we can embrace a false view of God based on how people treat us. God designed earthly relationships to serve as examples and reminders of His love for us, but if we’ve been harmed through human relationship, it can be difficult to receive God’s love.

When we’re going through something very hard, it’s easy to question God’s heart and begin to wonder, “Does God see? Does He even care?”

For thirty-six years, I had no idea how much God loved me and longed to have a relationship with me. I knew facts about God. I believed Jesus died on the cross, but I didn’t understand the depth of His love demonstrated upon that cross.

Linda: What led you to set aside your beliefs and seek God’s heart?

 Patty: Sheer desperation. I wanted the peace and joy my friend had, but until I became desperate, I wasn’t willing to pursue it. I needed healing. All the screaming, crying, and fits of rage were destroying my family and my life. Consuming alcohol to cope numbed the pain but fixed nothing. And when no one I turned to could help me, I was out of options.

I saw that amid her problems, my friend carried a joy and peace that was foreign to me. She seemed to know something I didn’t. So, when life became more than I could handle, I finally cried out to God.

Linda: What happened? How did God respond? 

 Patty: The day I was planning to take my life, God intervened. After years of battling depression, Jesus saved me, and His healing touch caused my heart to swing wide open. Suddenly, I wanted to know God. And this desire to know Him took me on a life-changing journey.

Linda: How did knowing God’s heart change your life?

 Patty: As a believer, I understood “how” God saved us, what I didn’t understand was “why” He saved us. In all those years of growing up in church, going through the motions of religion, I never saw the passion of God’s heart. I didn’t understand what He was after or how the healing balm of His love could set me free from deep wounds and rejection.

Getting to know God’s heart changed me because it changed my perspective of God, myself, and those around me. Seeing His heart for me filled me with a love for Him and others. As it says in 1 John 4:19, “We love because He first loved us.”

Jesus came to set the captives free, and when we know God’s heart for us, that understanding can set us free from sin, wounds, addictions, temptations, and past hurts.

Linda: What led you to write Getting to Know God’s Heart? And what do you hope people will gain from reading it?

Patty: The one thing I want people to know is: The greatest desire of God’s heart is you! He longs for you. What He wants most is you—all your heart, mind, soul, and strength. This is what my friend knew about God. She knew she was passionately loved by the Almighty God of the Universe and that understanding awakened her soul. She knew, no matter what she faced in life, His heart was for her, and it gave her peace.

This is what my friend wanted for me. She wanted to help me recognize the one thing that would change my life—an awareness of God’s love. This is why I wrote the book, and what I want for those who read it to receive. Above all else, no matter who they are or what they are going through, God loves them passionately and cares about them deeply.

Linda: What made you decide to use a Bible study format rather than just a regular chapter book?

Patty: It’s vital we see God’s heart through His word, not through the commentary of the author.

Much of our inner pain comes from not knowing God. And I wanted the reader to have the thrill of discovering His heart for them through the intimacy of His word.

Linda: What would you say to someone who is having trouble receiving God’s heart for them?

 Patty: Perhaps, like me, you have experienced setbacks in your pursuit of God. But don’t allow those obstacles to define God’s character or your relationship with Him. Regardless of what has held you back, be encouraged. God’s unyielding love will not give up on you. He knows you. He sees you, and He will not stop in His relentless pursuit of you.

So, allow me to challenge you to let go of any pain, false beliefs, or expectations, and pursue the heart of God and allow Him to capture you with the wonders of His love.

This is a choice. You can hold onto grudges, bitterness, and hurt. You can keep your current perspective and remain stuck. You can continue to strive and struggle, convinced God is only interested in your performance. Or you can lay all that aside and discover a love so profound it will set you free, fill you with love, and give you identity and purpose.

Linda: Patty, thank you for writing this beautiful, life changing book. Where can people find out more about your book, Getting to Know God’s Heart as well as your ministry and other books?

 Patty: To learn more, they can visit www.LibertyinChristMinistries.com

I would also like to invite them to join me on our FB group Quick & Easy Bible Studies for Women at www.facebook.com/groups/quickandeasybiblestudies

 

 

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What If My Marriage Is Not Reconciled?

woman looking upwardWHEN SELENA TOLD ME about her divorce, I was crushed. Years before, she had gone through Marriage 911, reconciled with her husband and been an enthusiastic supporter of others going through our ministry. We hadn’t been in touch for quite a while, and when she informed me of the happenings of the previous year, I was in shock.

She had made so many changes. She was more vibrant. Closer to God. She had literally become a more beautiful woman. She had ministered to others too and helped them walk this difficult journey.

I had not seen this coming, and neither had she. Her husband had seemed supportive, and they had come a long way. His divorcing her was completely unexpected.

For days I drug around, wondering how this could happen, asking God why. I remembered others whose marriages had also not reconciled. People who seemed to be doing all the right things.

One morning as I spent a prolonged time in prayer, God started whispering to my heart with memories, recollections, and encouragement. In my memory I saw Selena when she first came to class and how she was now. She had changed dramatically. She was more vibrant, more beautiful with a light in her eyes and a softness in her face. Her words were uplifting and gracious. She was closer to God and had a vital faith.

As God began to show me this, He began to speak to me in my heart. It’s not all about the marriage, Linda. It’s about the person themselves. And their relationship to me. I want them to come closer to me. And that’s what’s most important.

Awhile later my husband asked me what I was doing. I told him I’d been spending time with God and He was showing me some things.

“What did He show you?” he asked. “I always like hearing what God says to you.”

When I told him, he said, “Well that’s what we say in Marriage 911. You can’t change your spouse. You can only change yourself. It’s about your relationship between you and God.”

“And that’s what people say to me in their emails too,” I said. “Many people, whose marriages weren’t reconciled, email me to say that even though their marriage didn’t get back together and it was one of the hardest times in their life, they wouldn’t trade this experience because they had come so much closer to God.”

So, yes, after spending that time with the Lord, I realized it all comes down to this.

Even though my books and our Marriage 911 ministry have helped to bring about many reconciled marriages, there is no guarantee. Our fallen human natures still impact the results. The sinful choices and desires of a spouse can undermine God’s best plan for us. Likewise, our own past choices may have exhausted the emotional strength and patience of our mate. God gives us free will and does not force His own will upon us.

Sometimes in the searching for answers, we find answers we never expected, answers that explain far more than what initially drove us in our search.

In one of the last stories of my book, Fighting for Your Marriage while Separated, I quote an email sent to me from Theresa, who had gone through Marriage 911 and read Broken Heart on Hold, but whose marriage still ended in a divorce initiated by her husband. In the email she recalls the difficult journey and what she had learned through it.  “What if I was not really fighting for my marriage?” she asks. “What if God was actually having me fight for myself—my soul, my heart, my own salvation?” She finishes the email by saying, “The one that has been restored, I assure you, has been ME! I can finally hear Jesus saying to my heart, “See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland” (Isaiah 43:19).’”

As I continued to meditate on what God was showing me that day, I pictured someone dancing in God’s presence, joyful in the love surrounding them.  And I realized, although we want to help reconcile marriages, our ultimate goal is this: to open up each person’s heart to God, themselves, and others so they can shed the shabbiness within their souls and become the beautiful creation God intended them to be.

Hopefully, as they dance into their new persona, their spouses will be able to join them in the dance and the two of them can grow together in the pursuit of holiness God wants them to have. But even if their spouse does not join them, they will not dance alone. Jesus is there to lead them into the joyful discovery of all He holds for them. His love will be ever-present and His dance will lift them to new heights.

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Life on Pause: Learning to Wait Well – Interview with Author, Candy Arrington

Book cover for Life on Pause-Learning to Wait WellWAITING IS NOT something most of us like to do. I usually try to get to a doctor’s appointment right on the minute rather than arriving early to cut down on the wait time. I groan when I see the light turning red right before reaching the intersection because I know it means waiting. Most of all, when my husband and I were separated, I didn’t understand why God didn’t answer my prayers immediately and bring our marriage back together sooner. Waiting is hard.  In stressful situations, it can even cause us to question God’s goodness. But author Candy Arrington sees purpose in our waiting. In her new book, Life on Pause: Learning to Wait Well, she explores what it means to us when our life is “On Pause” and even shows us how waiting can be a blessing.

Linda: The books we write often emerge out of our own life experiences. What would you say was the motivation behind your writing Life on Pause: Learning to Wait Well?

Candy: Several years ago, my husband lost two jobs within a year because of declining work in his field. After the first job loss, he secured employment within a few weeks. However, after the second, we encountered a life pause, a time of uncertainty and frustration. As weeks became months, we dealt with the anxiety and fear associated with waiting.

However, this was not our first experience with a season of waiting. Early in our marriage, we traveled the difficult road of infertility. Those years of surgeries, procedures, and heartache were stressful and tested our faith. Thankfully, I was eventually able to conceive and deliver two healthy children over a four-year period.

I’d like to say I handled the years of infertility well, but, in truth, I was angry with God and hurt by thoughtless and intrusive comments from those who had no right to make judgements or give unwanted advice. The infertility years taught me a lot about trusting God and tuning out Satan’s voice. Often, we believe Satan’s lies instead of focusing on promises in God’s Word.

Sometimes, when God sidelines us in a season of waiting, we fail to learn from the experience because we are so consumed with worry about what will happen next. Learning to wait well is a challenge, but if we’re willing, we can learn and grow in a time of waiting, while also strengthening our faith muscles.

Linda: Why do you think most people struggle with waiting?

Candy: We live in an impatient society. We’re trained by advertising to think we must respond immediately to offers, hurry to make purchases, or sign up for events so we don’t miss out. We chafe at delays in drive-thru lines or other waiting scenarios. By our very nature as humans, we are impatient. We want what we want without delay, regardless of consequences or who is hurt by our impulsiveness.

Waiting is counterculture, and like so much in the life of faith, requires us to take a step back from urgency, look to God for direction and discernment, and trust his timing.

Linda: That is so very true. When I tell people my husband and I were separated for three years, people are aghast that I could wait that long for God to bring healing to our marriage. Waiting is hard, but I believe God uses it for His purposes. Tell me, what do you think are the benefits of waiting? Is it ever beneficial?

Candy: We live in a world of instant everything, so waiting feels negative. God’s plans, methods, and time frame are rarely ours, and he has reasons for allowing life pauses. Here are a few I’ve discovered:

Protection – God sees the full picture of our lives while we see only snapshots. Waiting may be God’s way of protecting us from potential Headshot of author Candy Arringtonhazards of which we are unaware.

Preparation – A time of waiting prepares us for what lies ahead. Each difficult situation or period of waiting requires us to acknowledge God, trust him for resolution, and prepares us for future challenges.

Patience – Life pauses help us to cultivate patience, which is something most of us lack. Patience requires discipline, and discipline translates positively into other areas of life.

Rest – A season of waiting may be solely for the purpose of providing rest, a chance to reassess, or recover from trauma, stress, or grief.

Reflection – Most of us move through life at such a rapid pace we rarely take time to process emotions, spend more than brief moments in Bible study and prayer, and reflect on what God is doing in our lives. Seasons of waiting slow us and help us gain new perspective on what is truly important.

Renewal – Life is hard, and obedience to God’s directive to pause allows time for recharging physically, emotionally, and mentally.

Linda: All of those are great points. In light of what we’ve all been going through over the last two years, do you feel the timing of the publication of Life on Pause is significant?

Candy: Yes, when I presented this book idea to a publisher at a conference in 2019, it was not the book I had planned to pitch. But while I was waiting for my appointment, God reminded me of an article I wrote several years before for CBN.com titled “6 Simple Truths for Seasons of Waiting.” I was resistant to moving in a different direction because I had no proposal for a book on waiting, but I pulled up the article on my phone and used it as my outline. Six months later, when I signed a contract for the book, I had no idea our country, and our world, were about to enter a time of waiting related to the pandemic.

Looking back, I can see how God orchestrated the timing of the writing of my book and the publication, and, in fact, the idea for the book in the first place. I was much more in tune with the emotions and uncertainty of waiting as I wrote, and had greater insight, because I was living it!

That is how it is when our lives take an unexpected detour. Often, we can’t see God’s hand in our circumstances until after we wade through deep waters and reach the shore on the other side. Then, we can see he guided us, removed obstacles, and held us up when turbulent trials threaten to pull us under.

Linda: Are there any features in your book, Life on Pause that seem to have ministered most to readers?

Candy: I believe some of the most powerful parts of the book are the eight personal stories of waiting. So many people have said they identify with one or more of the stories because of the honesty and transparency of those who were willing to share.

Often, privacy or embarrassment prevents us from talking about hard life experiences, but when we share our difficulties, and how God taught us in those circumstances, others receive encouragement for what they are facing.

Linda: What do you most want readers to take away from this book?

Candy: In reading Life on Pause, I want readers to learn to see positives when sidelined in a time of waiting, or really in any situation they encounter that causes them to feel out of control or doesn’t make sense to them. I hope readers will realize how crucial it is to trust God’s timing rather than rushing ahead. I want them to cultivate listening ears that are open to God’s direction. When viewed from God’s perspective, waiting is a gift. Embrace waiting. Learn from it. Utilize it. And as you wait, draw closer to God.

Linda: Where can people purchase Life on Pause: Learning to Wait Well as well as find out more about your ministry and your other books, such as When Your Aging Parent Needs Care and AFTERSHOCK: Help, Hope, and Healing in the Wake of Suicide

Candy:  My books can be found on Amazon, Barnes & Noble and other online booksellers and local stores as well. You can see more about my other books and ministry at  CandyArrington.com

 

 

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I Choose Peace

Guest Post by Joan C. Benson

Lilacs in the snow

Photo by Becky D. McMillen

HAVE YOU NOTICED how life sometimes runs on parallel tracks? Good things can take place in the midst of not-so-pleasant circumstances. When I saw this image by Becky D. McMillen, it reminded me of this facet of life on planet earth. In this photo, we see the beauty of two seasons, complementing each other in color and form. The delicate flowers of a redbud tree are accentuated with the flakes of a late spring snow, enhancing both snow and flowers.

If I imagined myself to be a redbud flower, I might not feel the positive vibes of a blast of cold invading my springtime. Imagine bursting forth in your best show of first blooms, to find yourself shivering under a pile of freezing fluff. Sort of sets you back.

In our daily humanity, we may recognize layers of goodness while being struck with a serious loss or disabling event. What do we choose to embrace? Laying in a hospital bed recovering from a painful surgery, I heard a simple praise song in my room. I was miserable, and only half-asleep, but the sweet voice sounded like an angel. A nurse had begun singing along with music I had playing on my cell phone. Her kindness and love deeply touched my heart. I chose to feel God’s presence and peace.

When my dog experienced multiple health crises within a short out-of-state “vacation,” a kind veterinarian (our 5th appointment) spent thirty minutes reading all the health reports and deciding on a course of treatment. We were to leave for home the next morning. When we checked out, he had not charged me for anything except the medication. I felt tears well up in my eyes. It was not the money saved, though that was a blessing. It was his compassion. I chose to believe it was God’s grace poured out on us. I chose peace.

I have found that people who are most successful in navigating pain, loss, and devastation don’t immediately jump up and down to embrace their dark trial. They will say with honesty, “It was hard.” However, they pass from grief to gratefulness when they recognize God’s provision along the journey. Yes, we may find a freezing jolt to our once-comfortable life, but in recognizing God’s mercy and grace to get us through, we find hope for the sorrows. We can choose peace.

God’s peace is promised to us in Philippians 4:6-9. However, with every promise comes an expectation. True? We are told to not be anxious. How does that work, you ask? “I just lost … (fill in the blank), and I’m not supposed to feel the sad and awful reality?” Your husband (or wife) left you after years of marriage. You husband (or wife) died suddenly without any advance warning. You or a loved one receives a diagnosis of a fatal illness, or a health dysfunction without a remedy. Your child breaks off relationship. You know the list of tragedies goes on and on.

However, if you are one who has stepped over that line of faith as a believer in the Creator God of the Universe, He asks us to pray, to tell him what’s on our heart. He says in Philippians 4:6-7 to pray/petition WITH THANKSGIVING. Then comes the answer: “And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” I choose peace.

What a joy to let go of the spirit of heaviness, and release it to Father God, the One who loves you most. Not every woe in this life will have a “happy ever after” ending. In John 16:33, Jesus tells his disciples, “In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” Yield, and receive your peace. We know in Heaven there will be no more sorrow, no more tears. Everlasting joy!

headshot of Joan BensonAs a freelance writer, Joan Benson has produced devotional materials for CBN.com, written numerous magazine articles (most recently for LifeWay’s ParentLife and Regent University’s The Christian Leader). Her debut historical fiction novel, His Gift, was released in July 2020. Joan is a former (K-8) classroom teacher and reading specialist, and a wife and mother of four adult children. She developed children’s Sunday School curriculum for over twelve years for LifeWay. You can find more about Joan on  joancbenson.com and her new book at Barnes & Noble and Amazon.

fingers of someone playing a piano Dreams can come true – even in the midst of uncontrollable circumstances.

 

 

If you need to find peace in a troubled marriage, you can find help in my book, Broken Heart on Hold, Surviving Separation.

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When Your Mind is Muddled

woman working in the garden“HE MAKES ME LIE DOWN in green pastures; He leads me beside the still waters, He restores my soul” (Psalm 23:2-3).

A few days ago, my day seemed to hit one crash after another. First, I received a rejection from an editor I had really wanted to work with. Next, I found a minor medical problem wasn’t so minor after all and needed serious attention. Thirdly, I received a discouraging report about another problem that was escalating.

Why does bad news always seem to come in threes?

I felt muddled and scrambled in my mind. Disappointment mixed with questions and genuine concern thrashed around in my head. My emotions felt unsteady and troubled. Even my prayers felt shallow and inconsequential. “Where are you, God?”

Standing at the kitchen sink, I gazed out the window and felt drawn to the peace and quiet of my backyard where fern fluttered in the breeze and the greens of grass and other nearby plants beckoned.

Instinctively, the uneasiness within me led me to my gardening tools, where I picked up a shovel, donned my garden gloves and headed outdoors to work in the yard where I can always count on feeling God’s presence surrounding me in His creation.

The next day, although calmer, intermittent traces of anxiety continued to spike through my emotions.

So I sat at my computer and spent the day writing—an endeavor I love that takes my mind to new levels of God’s grace. By the end of the day I felt better, and thanked God for His continued presence, knowing that through all circumstances, “He is working all things together for good for those who love Him and are called according to His purpose (Romans 8:28).

Through my yard work and my writing, I’d found two of the paths God had provided for me to find His peace.

How and why did this help?

When our minds are muddled and emotions unsettled, where do we go for peace? Ideally, going straight to the Bible and spending time in prayer steadies our hearts and minds and gives us perspective. That’s the best answer. But sometimes we first need to transition into a place of restoration where our hearts are more open to hear God’s voice.

Identifying calming influences in our lives that help us pull together our muddled emotions and become centered again is important for each of us. If we allow our emotions and agitated thoughts to have free reign, they can lead us away from God and into places we don’t want to go. But if we channel them into nurturing avenues God has wired into our DNA, we can enter into a more peaceful place.

Each of us is different. While for me, writing and working in the yard comforts my spirit, for you it might be an artistic endeavor like playing the piano, painting, or sculpting. Or perhaps working with your hands on a project in your workshop or car helps unravel the stress that holds your mind and spirit captive.  Maybe you have an athletic bent so that riding a bike, throwing a few hoops of basketball, or working out in the gym calms you.

One of the ways God gives us peace is through the gifts He gives us in our own DNA – gifts that mobilize us and inspire us to action. When we recognize positive activities that nurture our spirits and bring us peace, God can draw us to a place of rest where we are better able to hear His voice.

What is it for you that calms your spirit? What do you feel drawn to when your mind is muddled that lies within God’s boundaries of morality and goodness? What activities help you expel the tension that binds up your joy? If you don’t know, start by taking a walk in a park or an area rich with natural beauty. While we have diverse interests that calm us, God’s creation is a universal conduit He uses to bring healing to our spirits. So if we’re unsure of the gifts God has given us to bring peace, we can always start with nature.

God has created each of us to have diverse interests and talents. Discovering what they are can serve us well as we navigate a troubled world and the unpredictable ups and downs of life. As you submit to God’s nurturing hand in these activities, let them lead you back to Him. For it is in Him you’ll find the “peace that passes understanding” (Philippians 4:7). And it is through Him that “goodness and mercy will follow [you] all the days of [your] life (Psalm 23: 6).

What is your happy place?

What is an activity that calms you when your mind feels muddled?

If you need to find peace in the middle of a troubled marriage, I invite you to let me walk beside you through my book, Broken Heart on Hold, Surviving Separation. It can be an encouraging friend to you as you walk this lonely journey.

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Planning Ahead in 2021

Photo by Jude Beck

As we happily throw away last year’s calendar and move on from 2020, it’s time to go to God and seek direction for 2021.

The grand plans we had for 2020 may have gone awry when the pandemic hit, but we can use it as a good reminder of what scripture tells us in Proverbs 19:21, “Many are the plans in a person’s heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails.” We don’t know what the future holds, but as Christians we know Who holds the future.  We can make our resolutions. We can make our plans. But only as we give them to God will God’s best for us succeed.

So let’s include God as we set our goals for 2021.

The Goal Setting Guide below provides an opportunity to set goals in seven areas of your life. As you think over the past year and look ahead to the future, I encourage you to read the accompanying scriptures and pray over how God may be leading you in 2021.

GOAL SETTING FOR THE NEW YEAR

I. PERSONAL GOALS

Practical Steps For Achieving:

 

“And my God will meet all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus.” Phil. 4:19

II. MARRIAGE AND RELATIONSHIP GOALS:

Practical Steps For Achieving:

 

“Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.” Eph. 5:21

III. FAMILY GOALS:

Practical Steps for Achieving:

 

“Love is patient; love is kind. It does not envy; it does not boast; it is not proud. It is not rude; it is not self-seeking; it is not easily angered; it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.” I Cor. 13:4-7

IV. CAREER GOALS:

Practical Steps for Achieving:

 

“Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and your plans will succeed.” Prov. 16:3

V. ATTITUDE GOALS:

Practical Steps for Achieving:

 

“…be made new in the attitude of your minds, and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness.” Eph. 4:23-24

VI. GOALS OF SERVICE TO GOD AND OTHERS:

Practical Steps for Achieving:

 

“And do not forget to do good and to share with others, for with such sacrifices God is pleased.” Heb. 13:16

VII. SPIRITUAL GOALS:

Practical Steps for Achieving:

 

“And we pray this in order that you may live a life worthy of the Lord and may please him in every way, bearing fruit in every good work, growing in the knowledge of God, being strengthened with all power according to His glorious might so that you may have great endurance and patience and joyfully giving thanks to the Father…” Col. 1:10-11

 

If you are struggling to understand how to move ahead in 2021 because of problems in your marriage or family, I encourage you to check out my latest award-winning book, Fighting for Your Marriage while Separated.

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The Paradox of Following God

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Years ago in a ministry at church, I found myself at loggerheads with another woman working on the same project. Although we had similar objectives, we completely clashed in our methodology. I became discouraged and frustrated that she seemed so inflexible and unwilling to consider my point of view.

But sometime prior to this, my husband and I had been convicted that whenever we had problems with someone, we should begin praying for them. So grudgingly, I started praying for her.

A few weeks later . . . after we started praying for her, my husband and I were thrust into a social setting with her and her husband. As we spent time talking together, we found we had a lot in common . . . and we enjoyed them! Within about six months, they had become some of our best friends.

What was even more surprising is that when we applied this principle to other problem relationships as well, the outcome was similar. Again and again, when we had trouble with someone and prayed for them specifically, they ended up becoming especially good friends. It happened so often, in fact, that it became almost funny. Anytime we had problems with someone and prayed for them, we wondered if they’d end up becoming some of our best friends.

The Paradox

While our human logic often tells us to react according to fleshly inclinations, the paradox of following God is that when we do what God asks us to do, we find it’s His leading and His ways that produce the positive consequences we desire. Too often, however, we react in the flesh and, instead of seeking God, we take the opposite path and wind up with problems we could have avoided.

In a troublesome relationship, arguing, becoming aloof, or maneuvering our way around the situation seems a much more logical approach than praying for someone who annoys us, hurts us, angers us, or causes us problems.

But God, in His infinite wisdom, whose thoughts and ways are higher than ours, has a different way. And He wants us to come to Him to find out what it is. For when we do, we will discover that his paradox, although hard to understand, takes us into the more abundant life we’re looking for.

An Unexpected Response

In the story of Job, when everything in his life fell apart, friends allegedly came to comfort him. But instead they accused him, vilified him, doubted his integrity and caused him great grief.

During these exchanges with his friends, Job continually sought God to come and talk to him. When God did come and answer Job, God told Job to pray for these men who had been so unkind and tactless.

[The Lord] said to Eliphaz the Temanite, “I am angry with you and your two friends . . . . My servant Job will pray for you, and I will accept his prayer and not deal with you according to your folly.”Job 42:7, 8b

At this declaration from God, I wonder if Job’s first inclination was to do a double take. “Huh? Me pray for them? After all their accusations in the midst of my suffering?”

But Job did what the Lord said to do. Job prayed for his friends.

“And the Lord accepted Job’s prayer.” Job 42:9

But not only did God “accept” Job’s prayer, God used Job’s praying for his friends to bless Job as well . . . in amazing ways.

“After Job had prayed for his friends, the Lord made him prosperous again and gave him twice as much as he had before.” Job 42:10

The Paradox of Job’s Prayer

Job’s prayers are what let his friends off the hook with God so He did not punish them. And after Job prayed for his friends, the Lord healed him and blessed him. But why didn’t God just forgive Job’s friends on His own if He wanted to do that and bless Job as He apparently wanted to do? Why put that responsibility on Job when he was hurting and had reason to resent his friends’ actions?

Because God was doing something that transcends our human understanding. In the spiritual realm, actions that seem paradoxical to our human flesh often bring about shifts in heavenly places. By praying for his friends, Job humbled himself to acknowledge that God’s understanding was far beyond his own and that surrendering to God’s unfathomable ways was the key to living a life pleasing to God.

This principle applies to some of the deeper and stickier issues of life as well.

In my ministry to people who are separated or in a martial crisis, one of the things I often encourage them to do is to completely focus on God and “let go” of their spouse. But I frequently get this question as a result. “Does letting go mean that I should stop praying for him/her?”

In my response I urge them to simply let go of the expectations that God will do what they want Him to do and just pray that God will bless their spouse with a new love for God and an enlightened and discerning heart. No strings attached.

It’s not what we want to do in the natural. Our flesh rails against the idea. We want the strings. But the humility of our obedience even though it turns our hearts inside out, reaches the heart of God. With our hearts softened and malleable to His touch, our hurts become a spiritual sacrifice that He uses to bless us and give us a transformed heart, mind, and life.

God’s paradox is our lifeline to His heart.

If your marriage needs to turn around, Fighting for Your Marriage while Separated, can take you in a new direction.

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